How to Deal with Family Arguments

[Gumleaf]

Fight fair in family arguments


Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.

No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.

Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:


- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.
- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.
- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.
- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.
- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.
- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.

Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.

[damn almonds]

how do u get ur rents to stop fighting?

[diamond jetstream]

sorry but u cant they probably have a personal problem that they cant tell you about because they see u as an innoccent child. its better to ride it out but if it gets way serious like violence tell someone. hope i was helpfull

[Jagador]

sorry but u cant they probably have a personal problem that they cant tell you about because they see u as an innoccent child. its better to ride it out but if it gets way serious like violence tell someone. hope i was helpfull

agreed, but if you can't stand it, tell them to go somewhere else, and if it gets to violence, threaten to call the cops, but it shouldn't get that high. Also you can TRY to break it up but its not advised

[Asylum]

this is very good advice, however my parents don' like to listen to the other side, nor let m have an opinion. just last night i was explaining why i turned in a assignment late... SHUT UP!!!! I don't care what you have to say, be quite and jsut do what i aks turn in yoru assignmnts on time. Dad... I"m tyr... I SAID SHUT UP!!! i don't care!! this is backtalk how can you talk to me this way!?! oh there is going to be mroe resrticitonson your phoen now... alright... who said you get the last word... no SHUT UP!!! it went on and on but you get the point...

[jupiterpitter]

Fight is happen in every family and every one do argue with you just do one thing that if any one is arguing with you don't tell any thing for a while tell when that person become relax if you do this the fight not increase and also and misunderstanding also not create.

[ankurg562]

every difficulty have a solution.Fight is happen in every family because every parents want his child is good for other.they always arguing.that time u feel bad but then u remember ur parents words.u think ya they this time say good for me.then u feel i am wrong.

[Mario T]

all i do is stay quiet

[skilletfan128]

Somebody pleeeeeeeaaaaasssseee help me. I'm 13,a girl. im having SERIOUS issues at home.

1)My 5 year old brother has aspergers (a form of autism) he drives me nuts and phisically hurts me but I know he doesnt mean it but it hurts

2) My parentos still hire babysitters when they go out. I'm aloud to stay home alone for like hours by myselt but NOT with my bro what do i do?

3) I am a super smart straight A student in 7th grade but my school teaches us 10th-college work ( i am taking SAT test this june- a practice THEN a real one in Septenber!) all people care about is how smart I am not my feelins or anything else!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!! IM THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF!!! OR RUNNING AWAY!!

[Jahiem]

Always arguing.that time u feel bad but then u remember your parents words.u think ya they this time say good for me.then u feel i am wrong.

[John Marston]

I act like I don't care about the fights, but I think people know I do.

[Ben4ever]

I hate when parents fight!

[Everthehopeful]

What can I do when my parents fight both with me and each other and seem to treat my brother like a prince (note the use of the word seem. I do realise they don't). It all seems to be over my exams and social life! I just turned 16 and they are still trying to ground me even though, legally here, I do not have to be if a parent says so.

[momo....]

i never argue with my family i dont need stress

[WearAngels]

Another way around of informative post that will help me a lot specially of today's time that i was a trouble maker anywhere i may go because i am a kind of person that has a bad temper every time arguments go on.

[Jamesison]

I try to walk away to thing get better.

[NickTheBest]

This is good information

[HunterBlue]

When there's an argument in my family, its on! My mom is never home, so it's basically me and my older sister. She's older so she thinks she's all bad ass. But I'm bigger and don't take her crap so its like Game of Thrones sometimes. Literally.

My youngest sister never fights, but my oldest has a temper and can be pretty nasty. She screams at my younger sister, making her cry. I always step in and she goes way over the top. She once stabbed me in the elbow with a knife. A steak knife! Without even thinking I pulled it out of my arm and threw it into the sink and the yelled out loudly GAME OF THRONES!!! And she took off.

I was at the hospital with my younger sister who was all quiet and upset about it all, but the she burst out laughing and asked me why I yelled that out. I told the doctor I dropped the knife while washing the dishes. He looked at me like I was full of crap.

[Jamesison]

I walk away or i try not to get in them if I can.

[GypsyGirl]

Whenever I get into a fight with my sister I always apologize 5 minutes later because I feel guilty. Even if I don't want to let her have her way, she always gets it because I don't want her to hate me anymore than she already probably does. Hate fighting so much so things get bottled up and just burst out when pushed too far.

[Corey Neil]

I come from a very 'you are reactive because of you' back ground. If anything in life annoys you, I believe it only annoys you because you can't accept, forgive or thank that experience. So, whatever it is that annoys you or creates arguments within any situation is an argument with yourself. Just because someone does something that annoys you doesn't make you right. So, what gives you the judgment to judge that? And vise versa. So, if you can come into awareness (not just you, but everyone, even me) that coming into acceptance for everything is the better route, you essentially become aware, that not a lot bothers you any more. "It is what it is" - Is a very ancient Hawaiian modality of teaching. If someone says something nasty, it's because they are disagreeing with themselves, not with you. You just triggered that disagreement. And vise versa.

[Pseudogeek]

When my parents fight it tends to get loud very fast. One time my dad threw a colander at my mom, and he's threatened to walk out 3-4 times. Probably more.

[othees]

It's not worth arguing as a teen though.

[Matthew_17]

I kinda not deal with it , i mean depends on what is worth to fight or not but most of all times i kinda shut down and talk about whatever happened in the day after.

[JacobBower]

In my case i think the best thing to do is just keep calm and if tempers go up just figure things out later.

[Let Me Be a Pony]

I just go in the other room if my family is arguing with me.
That helps, since they and me can cool off.
Then we're all good.
It's that simple, if something in your way gets too hot, just move out until the temperature is the way you like it to be, then move in.

[luzz.cadiz]

To Deal with Family Arguments, there should be an open communication. Parents have the authority towards their children, on the other hand, children should still respect their parents. Both parties must be willing to talk about the conflict or the root of the argument. It is also important, the way we deliver our message. Well, I believe it will be settled if both parties are willing to solve the issues or arguments. :yes: And, don't bring back again the issues once it solved. Forget and Learn :cool:

[Just JT]

a couple things I've learned recently is;

Listen more speak less
Accept that to disagree is ok
to disagree doesn't mean you don't love each other
To disagree doesn't imply you need to fight

To disagree with someone, you are learning about their likes and dislikes, what ever that is, we should be open and ok with the fact someone has a different opinion on something cause we're all different, and that's ok...

[gemma 2000]

I go tomy room and hide

[Brit4love]

My family didn't really fight

[Drew Alex]

I'm so happy my rents don't fight. I've only seen my mom really pissed with my dad once, when he stayed out with some buds and came home late. And that was probably five years ago.

[Body odah Man]

Fight fair in family arguments


Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.

No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.

Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:


- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.
- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.
- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.
- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.
- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.
- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.

Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.

Nice guide and advice. Thanks

[SpicyCurryyy]

My family is filled with conflict my dad gets mad at my mom because she has a shopping addiction and my mom doesnt like my dads f amily or how my dad raises me and my sister. my mom knows she has a problem and takes her anger out on my sister. Everyone comes to me trying to get me on their side and i always feel so torn.

[Setasailforparadise]

I say yes all the time and I make them think that they are right.

[BrokenWingedPegasus]

Fight fair in family arguments


Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.

No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.

Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:


- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.
- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.
- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.
- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.
- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.
- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.

Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.

To be honest, I respect all of this. The family member that I have lots of arguments with doesn't, though. They should read this.

[Polina]

I always try to find a compromise. It's a good skill that should be developed if you want to leave with people in peace. It's hard sometimes but I do my best to stay flexible and positive. So I recommend you to use the same strategy, especially if it's your family.

[Trevor.]

Fight fair in family arguments


Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.

No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.

Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:


- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.
- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.
- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.
- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.
- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.
- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.

Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.

I agree with you. Sometime when your in a fight you win the fight by letting the other person win. Be the bigger person. My sister and I never got in fights. But when we had little arguments I would let her win and she would let me win. We knew what to do and everything was good :)

[SWEET_SARAH]

I hate conflict of any type. I know it's a part of life, but I just don't like when there is tension with friends or family. I wish I didn't give a crap a lot of times, but I can't help it. People are important to me and conflict bothers me. Have a great day y'all!

[Anthony17]

I win.

[abc91]

i just walk away unti everyone is done being hot headed cuz ur not gonna get anywhere just arguing.

[miss.mysterious]

I would really like any helpful suggestions to this post (other than grammatical corrections 😒)

Dad can not get it into his thick, messed up skull that he is not the only person in this household. Other people are here, and we are 100% capable of making our own decisions. I am almost an adult; I know how to think on my own. My brother is an adult; he can do whatever he wants. Our mother does not dictate our actions; she has no control over what we do. And my father has the nerve to blame her for my brother being out in the streets, knowing damn well that he can make his one choices. My mom was so furious and upset; I hate seeing her like that. Do you know what my dad did? He threatened her. She was just saying that she was upset and that he was blaming her for everyone's problems, and he said: "you keep on talking" as if she was wrong. My dad will do everything it takes to deflect the blame from him, and I hate him for that. My mother has every right to be upset. She is almost 60 years old, and her husband has done nothing to make her life easier. She does everything for us, yet he has contributed nothing except money. I am scared for her life. I know that one of the reasons he hasn't done anything to her is because I am here. But when I go to college, I don't know what will happen. She is too old to be going through this. One day, she will die. He is just cutting her lifespan by stressing her out by what is way more than necessary.

[blitkrieg]

its gonna be alright

[Chrisbm]

I just learn not to argue with certain family members, even the ones you love and hate

[NotSky]

Thanks for the advice. I'll try it because of one of my parents' recent fights.

[beingmeraki]

Thanks for this. The funny thing is, I always try to listen to their side of the argument, but then they are never interested in hearing my side of the argument ever!

[ShezzaD05]

I used to be really close to my brother (we are twins!) but in the last year we have been arguing and fighting like never before. He told me something as a secret last year and it really upset me and we started to fall out ever since then. Sometimes even tiny little things can cause us to fight. I hate it and really wish we could make up forever, but everytime i try he just puts me down. i feel like i have lost my best friend in many ways.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Thanks for this. The funny thing is, I always try to listen to their side of the argument, but then they are never interested in hearing my side of the argument ever!

Dad is like 'its like this and you shut up' :'(

[Croconaw]

This is a great post. I think family arguments are inevitable, even as you become older. You just have to understand that you can block out the negativity. You don’t have to let it affect you. It’s easier to block out toxic family members as you grow older, but this is a great post for our younger teenagers.

[minda015]

I am not for any argument whether with friends or with family members

[Natacha]

Probably sounds simple, but it works for me:

Listen and expect to be listened to. I'm always ready to acknowledge if peoples ideas/opinions/solutions is better than mine. If it's not, then maybe the flawless parts can make my ideas/opinions/solutions even better.

This certainly demands a great deal from the people I talk to of course. However, it actually works.

[ska8er]

Lots of times I just walk away or
go to my room.

[Natacha]

When peoples first priorities is to "win" the argument (many many cases), nothing good will come of that.
If the important part is to find the best solution, the participating people will all have learned something and they are happier. AND it will be easier for them to approach one another again for a new problem-solving, which will not be an argument but a conversation.

[Librarian]

Having been rescued from an abusive family and adopted, out of experience I don't shout back, but keep a respectful silence until Maman has blown her displeasure out. Not that I'm a stirrer, but am very protective to my identical twin Sis, putting her first.

Sis and I are grateful for living in a safe home. We have been given laptops, phones and an iPad for all our educational and entertainment needs, we are well fed (though I usually cook), clothed so really we owe so much and want to be respectful.

Sometimes we just have to swallow our angst and get on with living.

[Karl47]

Lately my family has been having a lot of trouble communicating. We were not communicating well. Many of my relatives had moved to different cities and countries. I decided that I wanted to help all my relatives communicate with each other. I decided to have a family party and send out invitations in the form of a flyer to everyone. I hope it will bring our family together. I found a cool site here (https://www.elegantflyer.com/category/free-flyers/). Which offers to do keyword free flyer psds.

[kylesnothere]

Fight fair in family arguments


Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.

No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.

Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:


- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.
- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.
- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.
- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.
- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.
- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.

Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.

wow this is really awesome advice. i need to try it. sometimes i get angry really fast and i know thats my fault so maybe if i try saying why i'm angry things will get better easier