I'm done

[rockmesoftly]

I am sick of life. Everyone expects so much of me, and all I want to do is lay down and join those people in the ground. My foster family is not working, my brith mother is trying to get in contact with me again....
I want to down a bottle of tequila or smoke a fucking joint, but my foster family are SUPER catholic and I don't want to go back to a foster home. What do I do :(

[Zephyr]

Just try to roll with the punches.
Life is always going to throw you a curve ball or two,
But the best that you can do is to try and make the best out of it.
People only expect out of you what they believe you can acheive...
If you feel that pressured, then just tell them to back off... in a nice way of course.
If you do not wish to talk to your biological mother, then don't.
Lastly... the drinking and smoking is your choice, but it will be better in the long run if you do quit...
So I'd take your Catholic foster family as a blessing in disguise.
I'm sure that if you went to them for help on quitting, they'd be happy to do so = )

[Rutherford The Brave]

Well, suicide just isnt the way to go my friend. Look you can pm me when ever you need to talk. All you can do is your best, if they expect too much out of you well thats their fault cause your giving them your best. As far as drugs go, I wouldnt exactly turn to them as they often have a tendency to become something you might rely on.

[rockmesoftly]

Thanks for the support guys. Drugs are not the way to go, but its all I know to do. I went to my foster family before, but they simply had the answer "the only way to quit is to stop. If you feel bad, pray".

[byee]

Bravo for you for recognizing that what you want to do isn't such a good thing, and for controlling those urges!

What to do? Something fun, maybe. What do you like to do, what would be a really good distraction, what would provide a similiar release, but not be so risky?

When life gives you lemons 9as it has in your case), and there's not much you can do about it (ditto), the only thing to do is try to make the best of it. Whatever wackiness is going on, it's temporary. The journey's longer than this one stop.

[theOperaGhost]

Don't turn to bad things to get out of a bad situation. Things will eventually get better. Killing yourself is not a way out. Nor are drugs. Just keep on keeping on. Life takes many turns, some bad, some good, you just have to live with it. I hope things get better.

[rockmesoftly]

I live in Fairbanks. There's not really a lot to do here, even if my foster family let me outside. They don't trust me. I know these aren't ways of copeing, but it really does make me feel better, and everything else I've tried has just not worked the same as drugs. I think optomistically about killing myself, no depressive. It is a happy thought for me. I don't understand why it's so wrong for me to think this way.

[Zephyr]

The thing of it is, you may be happy thinking of suicide now, but you never know what the future has to hold for you... so young and you can still do so much with yourself... you can't give up on life, even if it's given up on you, show it wrong. I used to be the same way, when both times I tried killing myself, positive like it wouldn't matter, positive that I would be doing the world a favor, but it took me two suicide attempts to realize that I have my entire life ahead of me... I have the potential to do amazing things, possibly change the world, and I didnt' want to give that up. You also have this potential, so killing yourself would be a waste, even if you think that killing yourself would make you happy... but if you kill yourself you won't be alive to be happy for killing yourself, so where is the logic in that?

[Mr. Smithers]

Even though its your decision, unless you have this chronic illness, suicide isn't the answer. There is so much out of life that you have yet to discover. You may think that being in a foster home isn't a game of Candy Land but its better than being dead. You should just learn that this is the way that it was supposed to be. I have to make the most out of it. I'm being fed and I'm getting a good education at school. Just keep that in mind.