Ugh. I don't even know what to call this. Some sort of a rant I suppose.

[AutumnDae]

I am so upset right now. It's beyond belief. I want to scream. I'm on the verge of tears. My effing mother is making me work this Friday night. I knew about it since last week. I'm always stuck working over the weekend. I haven't hung out with my friends since spring break. It's not fair. All my other siblings get to do anything they want. I'm always the one that gets stuck doing shit for them. I have to babysit, I have to clean. I have to make dinner, I have to do laundry. I have to make sure homework is done. I have to bathe my little brother. Nope, Autumn's not allowed to have a life, she doesn't need one. She's just perfectly content serving her family. WELL YEA RIGHT! I'm the middle child, I'm the one with good grades. I don't get to hang out with friends, nope not at all. I don't get to do stuff. I'm stuck babysitting or working. THIS Friday, yup Autumn's babysitting. Now that I am 14 and want a job, my mom is basically not letting me. She hasn't said so, but she might as well have. "Oh no! I'm losing my babysitter" Well I want a job that ACTUALLY PAYS. I hate babysitting! I hate working with my parents! I hate my brother! I just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE. It's not fair. My older sisters never have to do stuff like this. I'm the middle child, Autumn has to do everything. This weekend there is a white water rafting trip on Saturday for school. Guess who can't go because she is babysitting or working! Autumn! This isn't fair. I WANT A LIFE!!!!! I didn't have any plans for Friday night, but maybe I just wanted to watch a movie or something? Is that such a problem? Or maybe I just wanted to hang out with a friend that I haven't gotten to since February. My mom always asks why I don't hang out with him anymore, maybe thats because I DON'T HAVE TIME! I just want them not to have this fucking food concession stand. I knew it was a problem. I was 8 when it started, I knew it was a problem. I can never do anything during the summer. My parents are always like "It's just on the weekends during the summer" Well NEWS FLASH, its not! My mom missed 8 of my 12 softball games because of the fucking thing. She's always missing stuff of MINE. Nobody's else's, just MINE. Just because I don't have outbreaks like every other child of hers doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I'm not a goddamn robot or something. She doesn't understand. I just want her to be able to say, "Let's do something this weekend Autumn, just you and me" I just want alone time with her I guess. I just want to talk to her REALLY talk to her. Not "Hi Autumn, how are you today?" I mean REALLY talk to her. I want her to take me shopping, I want me and her to get lunch together. I want that. I want to be able to talk to her about things. She just pisses me of sometimes so bad I want to scream at her. I don't really care about working this Friday, that's not the point. She didn't even think that maybe I had plans before she went ahead and told my dad that it is fine if I work. Maybe I had something for school, she had no idea. And of course my sister can't get it off from work. I doubt she even asks. She works at a Pac Sun with my cousin. She could have found someone to cover for her. I just want a day with my mom. Not my mother, my mom. I know she loves me, but it just feels good when she tells me. Sure she tells me, before bed, before school, whatever. But me and her have never had a day to do something together. It's always going somewhere together for something else, and me tagging along.


Wow I went really off track. I don't even know what I want advice on. I just wanted someone to listen to me I guess. None of my friends get it, and there is no one I can talk to. Of course on the one night I need him, my Uncle Kyle isn't here.

I don't really know. Maybe it's the heat that is making me upset. Maybe my hormones are going crazy. What I really want to tell my mom is that "I matter too. I want my stuff hung up on the refrigerator. I want you to ask me how I feel about things. I want to be able to come to you for advice."

And now I'm crying. I haven't done my homework, haven't taken a shower. Maybe I'll just fake sick tomorrow. Even though I really shouldn't. I just need a day off.

Sorry about the rant. I just want someone to listen. Seeing as my mom listens, but doesn't really hear me.

[byee]

Awww....poor Autumn, I'll listen. And, i'll respond quickly, too! What more can you ask from a total stranger?

Listen, I understand your feelings here, but I doubt your mom does. They have a different perspective on things and on us, and it can be frustrating. After you take that cool shower and do your HW, why don't you tell her you'd like to find time in the next day or so to talk calmly with her about something really, very important.

There are responsibilities in being part of a family, and a lot of them we don't ask for or want. However, for families to work (good families, anyway) there needs to be an acceptance of those responsibilities, BUT (and here's the good part), the responsibilities go both ways, your folks have them with you, too. If your family works reasonably well, they'll listen to you and take into consideration your feelings and needs, and (hopefully) work with you around them. Just tell them what's on your mind and what you need, let's give them the opportunity to work with you.

Think of what (and how) you need to say. Calmly.

Take that cool shower, it's hot out.

[LifeIsMyJoke]

Awww....poor Autumn, I'll listen. And, i'll respond quickly, too! What more can you ask from a total stranger?

Ditto!

I feel really bad for you, Autumn! One thing I could ask of you first of all is that you try and space your writing out a bit, so its a little easier to read.

Parents can be frustrating to a huuge extent. Mine are great, but I know of a few people whose parents almost control their childrens lives.

It depends on if your mother is the kind of woman who can be reasoned with? Would you feel comfortable telling her that you wish to spend more time with your friends, and that making you work on your time off constantly is ruining your social life?

If the answer is yes (which I somehow doubt) then this is easily solved.

If the answer is no, then I think the best thing to do is just to straight up tell her, regardless. Its very hard, its all a part of growing up, and the frustrations that come with it.

And this is as good a place as any to vent your frustrations, I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, my head is all over the place at the moment (my little brother told me that he considered suicide if I ever left him, and I've just told him Im leaving home next year)

But best of luck, and we're always here to listen!

[AutumnDae]

Ugh. Yet another night where I would like to scream at her.

She's is being ridiculous. She tells me one thing, and then contradicts herself in the next sentence. She just told me and my older sister that if she was buying anyone summer clothes, its gonna be me. Great, perfect. Then I ask her when we can go shopping, and she says "Well next week sometime, I'm free next weekend." But of course, that isn't gonna happen. All next week I have finals and review classes for those finals. And since I don't have to work that weekend, maybe I would like to hang out with friends or something. And if it is, I am going to get one pair of shorts, that I hate, and possibly a shirt. Probably not a shirt, I "have a lot of shirts anyways" Which I have 5 that I wear. I wouldn't call that a lot.

She hates spending money. On me mostly. She thinks I can wear hand me downs for the rest of my life apparently. My sister, who is 18, that if she has clothes that she wants to get rid of, hand them down to me. yea, it doesn't matter that she is 4 pant sizes bigger than me and her boobs are two cup sizes bigger. I need my own clothes.

Now of course, talking about shopping, getting my hopes up, I'm thinking again. One pair of shorts is going to do me a lot of good. Wear those every single day? Yea, right. She's always like this. Thinking that I can do with the minimal amount. And yet she is always talking about my younger brothers, and how they need clothes. They each have like 6 or 7 pairs of pants, while I have 3 possibly 4! It's crazy. They have a lot of shirts, and I have like none!

Shopping is making me think about money, hence a job. She tells me that I am going to have to start buying my own clothes. But, clothes USUALLY cost money there smart one. I have $160 in the bank, but I do have to buy other things. She thinks that giving me $10 a week babysitting is going to pay for clothes. It's not. I don't buy $2 shirts and $3 pants. I ask her everyday where I could look for a job, "well you have a job, babysitting"

She's sitting in the kitchen with my brother now. Of course, helping him study for his spelling final. Every time I ask her to help me study there is a round of sighs and then "When I get time" which I have to sit up until around 10:45, which at that point there isn't any point in studying, I'm half asleep anyways.

I want a different mother sometimes. One that doesn't mind buying her middle child things. Maybe one that cares.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Yeah, I honestly don't like Noor's parents. I like her mom mainly because she loves me and makes sure Im absolutly perfect. But I despise her father, but really I can't stand up to him Im a scrawny little 108 pound kid and hes 6.3 300 pounds. Still He tells me I have to be so respectful to him, then when I'm working and hes "overseeing" he'll say "pick up the pace lil' cherub." Its just to hard, but hey thats life.

[byee]

Golly, Autumn, I just spoke with you yesterday and you're having more problems? Well, pull 'er in, let's lift the hood and see what's going on, you're still under warranty here.

I really, really like the idea of you and your mom going out somewhere quiet and somewhere with lots of hot fudge and having a very calm, and very serious chat about all this. You are very articulate and very reasonable, and I think it is worth the time and effort to share with her all of this. I do not think she really understands your perspective here. Maybe if she's aware of it, she'll respond differently to you and your needs. Give it some thought, OK?