i've never...

[star_face]

had a relationship this intense before, i'm only 18 and i've had my fair share of relationships non of them serious and just fooling around basically never lasted any longer that 2 months, but i recently found this guy that just has me hooked, but everytime we seem to be getting close he makes up excuses why it might not work out if we were to get together, and then after a while he'll want to be really close again, but he's so secretive it's hard to work him out, i know he's not interested in any other girls at the moment, but i have made it hard for my self also, like i was really confused what was going on between usand thought nothing was going to happen and i got drunk one night and ended up kissing enougher guy which he found out about, and was off with me for ages which then proved he did have feelings for me and then he told me a couple of days ago he was going to ask me out that night which was a big thing for him and i screwed it up.
i know he has lot going on in his life and i wish he would tell me sometimes i always come to him with my probelms weve formed such a close bond but he's soo good at advoiding questions, it's crazy but i really do spend half my time thinking about him and trying to work him out, i really don't know what to do.
and on top of all this my friend that i haven't know for long is really good friends with him and she was like my go between she'd speak to him about me and then tell me, was really the only way i could find out how he feels about me, but recently i found out she used to really like him, like to the point she used to stalk him, and recently now he's said he wants to make a go of things with me she keeps sending me messages saying i should move on and get over him i can do better, and she makes up she's at home and i constantly find out she's been going around his all the time to see him. he doesn't know that she used to fancy him, and i'm thinking maybe she isn't over him.

aha sorry essay there is more i could add but really i want your advice on;
should i tell him about how she used to really like him?
any advice on what i should do in relation to the first part of my essay?
and any thoughts on the whole situation?

i keep going over and over it in my head and i really don't know what i should do next, but i think what we have together is really special but beause were so alike and we bond so well everything on a whole new level of emotion to me, the littlest things get to me and pray on my mind.
x

[byee]

I think if you like him then you and he should sit down quietly and have a very frank and open discussion about that: What your feelings are and what you'd like/want. And let him respond.

Commmunication is really important, it's important for the other person to know exactly where you stand. Getting that info allows both of you to make some decisions based on fact, not just fantasy.

And I personally wouldn't get involved with go betweens, adults talk with eachother without an intermediary.

[LifeIsMyJoke]

aha sorry essay there is more i could add but really i want your advice on;
should i tell him about how she used to really like him?
any advice on what i should do in relation to the first part of my essay?
and any thoughts on the whole situation?

i keep going over and over it in my head and i really don't know what i should do next, but i think what we have together is really special but beause were so alike and we bond so well everything on a whole new level of emotion to me, the littlest things get to me and pray on my mind.
x


From what you have written, it does indeed sound like your friend is being very protective of herself and her imaginary relationship with this guy.

Yet starting a war between you and your friend might not be the best thing to do, as it will just create a rift in this bond, forcing a rivalry which then becomes a lot more personal.

I wouldn't tell him how she used to like him, and if you do, make sure its as discreet as possible, and not in a bitchy manner.

Your friend obviously isn't over this guy, so I think its best to just talk it over with her, rather than going behind her back. Alot of guys hate it when two girls become so obsessed with themselves and their contest to "win him over" that they lose interest in both. So its something you and your friend might need to sort out, verbally.

I know what you mean about the little things getting to you - in this case I think it would be best to keep a good relationship with the guy, be open and honest, and let your friend know exactly how you feel about him, and how he feels about you.

If she becomes bitchy, then maybe tell your guy friend about your girl - friends intentions.

But once again, don't intentionally create a rift between you and your friend for the sake of a guy, regardless of if you think you love him, because like I said, guys aren't as emotionally attached to things as girls are, and this might be enough to force him to lose interest.

Relationships arent meant to be easy, but with a bit of work, and some good people skills, you can maintain a friendship, and possibly start a relationship.

Best of luck!!

[star_face]

thankyou soo, much thats actually helped alot! good job i read this before i decided to go ahead and tell him, i think i might think it over now and make sure i make the right decision.

x