Help Me Please

[GoAdam]

Hi,

I am sexually attracted to guys and not sexually attracted to girls, and I am emotionally attracted to girls, but not emotionally attracted to guys!

I'm done with puberty, so I know it's not some phase, etc, it's permanent, but I just don't know what to class my sexuality as!? Am I bisexual? I could never settle down with a guy and love him, but I could and can with girls, but I never think of sex with them, only guys. Help would be very much appreciated please. Thank you. :confused::eek::)

[Requin]

Well, the definition of gay that we have on here is that if you are PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY attracted to men, then it's likely that your gay. Since you said that your not emotionally attracted to men, then it's likely that your not gay. And how do you know that your done with puberty? How old are you?
BTW Go to this post and read it: http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=18215
That should help.

[GoAdam]

18, and I know I'm all done with it. Thanks for the link, but the thread didn't really help, I mean I don't know what I am - I'll just say bisexual.

[byee]

Puberty doesn't end until you're in your early twenties, it's not just the stuff you can see that determines when it's over, it's also your brain that continues to develop, too. And with it, come abilities like being able to think more abstractly, showing better judgement (like anticipating consequences, etc.), empathy, self control, insight, awareness. You know, all the stuff a lot of people lack before.

So, although you might think you're done at 18, the fact that you're attracted to men but not emotionally attached to them, and you cannot square those differences would suggest that those other abilities, from a post adolescent brain, are still changing.

So, the advice to you at 18 would be the same as one given to a 14 yer old. Sit and wait it out, try not to jump to any conclusions. However, at 18, you might be better able to sort thru some of these conflicting emotions with a therapist.

[notsure101]

Well, the definition of gay that we have on here is that if you are PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY attracted to men, then it's likely that your gay. Since you said that your not emotionally attracted to men, then it's likely that your not gay. And how do you know that your done with puberty? How old are you?
BTW Go to this post and read it: http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=18215
That should help.

exactly but u may be bi also

[LifeIsMyJoke]

I guess you could classify yourself as bisexual - you obviously aren't curious.

You also don't have an emotional attachment to Men, and aren't physically attracted to females as much as males. It's an interesting dilemma, but I honestly think the best I could come up with is that you are bisexual.

Its not uncommon - by the way, your first name is an awesome one =D

[Requin]

18, and I know I'm all done with it. Thanks for the link, but the thread didn't really help, I mean I don't know what I am - I'll just say bisexual.

Ahhh, i think you've answered your own question (sort of)
If you've wondered why so many guys say that they are bi and then change their mind, well it's because they are like you and don't know what they are so they say "I'll just say i'm bisexual" like you.
So my best advice is to go out and experiment (not sexually), go to clubs, flirt with girls, and other stuff, you might find what you are if you do this, it's going to be the only way you'll find out.
And if you are bi or gay so what? It's not a crime, be proud of what you are. You can't change what you are.

[NextToNormal]

Ahhh, i think you've answered your own question (sort of)
If you've wondered why so many guys say that they are bi and then change their mind, well it's because they are like you and don't know what they are so they say "I'll just say i'm bisexual" like you.
So my best advice is to go out and experiment (not sexually), go to clubs, flirt with girls, and other stuff, you might find what you are if you do this, it's going to be the only way you'll find out.
And if you are bi or gay so what? It's not a crime, be proud of what you are. You can't change what you are.

i agree. and since you really arent too sure about your sexuality, dont classify yourself just yet. because say that you are indeed straight but start coming out to people as bi or gay and later on when you are like 23 or 24, you realize that you arent. its going to be very hard to convince people that you are only interested in women. you said youre 18 and done with puberty...just give things some time. maybe you are bi. who really knows. for now, just be you and do what it is that you want to do. dont worry about orientation or anything right now...be who you want to be. :)

[Mr. Smithers]

Yeah just experiment for a little while. Date men. Date women. Because right now you are in denial of your sexuality which is just fine. You say you can't imagine yourself with a man because you have yet to have a relationship with a man. Same goes with a woman. Just experiment and date both sexes and time will reveal.