Seeping Away

[Coesistere]

Hello VT,

This here is Coesistere and I guess I wanted to know about others
"feeling" when cutting. There are many reasons why people comit
self harm... like to fell..or not to fell... to inflict....or to heal,

as for me, everytime I do cut
( usually after a fight with my mother or after a REALLY bad day)
I do it so i can relieve the stress i have.
for some reason once I fell like ive cut a slit through my skin
( my cuts are very shallow and usually are non-noticable after 2 weeks )
It feels like the stress is literally seeping through my skin and out into the air, and i fell calm. does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone have any
ideas or reasons to explain this? I know VT is a great help sourse so I know you advise will be greatly helpful and I appriciate you reading this.

Coesistere

[Nihilus]

I've never cut before and I never will. When I fall and cut myself up I hate the feeling when the cut is healed but when you think about it, It hurts.

[-Silence]

Yes, that is how it felt with me, when I started it was when I lived with my mother and I would cut after fighting with her, and just like you, they were very shallow, they would scab up and then disappear.

But it gets worse, after you'll be cutting not only to relieve stress but just because, and soon the cuts will get worse, or your skin will change to where every little cut scars, unless you're lucky, some don't.

I was the same way though, I cut because I didn't have any other way to let things out, it was all I had. And the stress slipping into the air as you say is most likely because when you cut, endorphins are released making it feel good.

[byee]

I've never cut before and I never will. When I fall and cut myself up I hate the feeling when the cut is healed but when you think about it, It hurts.

(QFT! I really dig insight.)

Anyways, I think you've learned a really bad way to express yourself and relieve stress. Cutting hurts, bleeding hurts, it's messy, it looks yucky, and it really doesn't solve anything. And it's extremely dangerous.You've gotten into this really bad habit, and it just seems normal to you, you've become accustomed to doing something risky. Try to recognize that even though it seems 'normal' to you to cut, it's a very dangerous thing to do.

I'd strongly suggest you find other ways of dealing with stress, I hope you're in therapy and working with a doc on this. Stress is a part of life, it would be a really good idea to find other ways of dealing with it that doesn't put you at such risk.

[ShatteredWings]

hmmm...

well first ishould mention that i started biting myself (i'll explain), then it lead to sometimes...yeahh..

well anyway, when i started, it was more-or-less a way to calm down. somehow it just kept me from freaking out as badly. needlless to say, it's adicting..then idk, it didn't help as much, even though the bruses on my hands were taking weeks to heal up, so ...yea

for the record, i've gone well over a month without a cut, and just barly over a month wthout biting myself :)


oh, um, yea..i think i started biting because it's easy to hide, and no body would consiter it...i'm NOT IN ANYWAY sugesting that you do that!

[Coesistere]

Anyways, I think you've learned a really bad way to express yourself and relieve stress. Cutting hurts, bleeding hurts, it's messy, it looks yucky, and it really doesn't solve anything. And it's extremely dangerous.You've gotten into this really bad habit, and it just seems normal to you, you've become accustomed to doing something risky. Try to recognize that even though it seems 'normal' to you to cut, it's a very dangerous thing to do.

I'd strongly suggest you find other ways of dealing with stress, I hope you're in therapy and working with a doc on this. Stress is a part of life, it would be a really good idea to find other ways of dealing with it that doesn't put you at such risk.


Let me explain a little further because i think you didnt exactly get the whole picture. I dont cut to relieve stress just for anything that cause me to become stressed out, it only happens when i get in with HUGE fights with my family primarily about my grades. All i feel like i hear from my mom and sister is about how "your a failing this" and " i wasnt having trouble liek you are in middle school that" and sometimes " do you need to be put into a special class!?". Adding the fact of my depression whitch at certin moments of my life make me feel like I have no one to care for me it has become a thing were once something like a fight happens, if i take the arguement to heart, ill make 1-3 cuts that dont show ( my cutting has got worse from cuts that never even made marks to one that would last about 2 weks befor disapearing ). Also as you asked, im not going to any therapy, no one knows about my scars beside my ex girlfriend which I never completely liked. Ive relised since in middle school im being harrased at least once a day that ive become a little reserved to others feeling, like ive closed myself off to all i have loved ). that a little more info about my ordeal.

Also i would like to state that even though i appreciate the advise from you IAMSAM, i doesnt sound like you quite have expierence or understanding of people who cut ( giving the qoute " it's messy, it looks yucky" and "You've gotten into this really bad habit, and it just seems normal to you, you've become accustomed to doing something risky" which may have been a misunderstanding of the situation ) but i think your heart is in the right place. Once again, i do appreciate the advise and thank to the other people who sent advise to

Please Disreguard the spelling mistakes

[byee]

I DID get the whole picture, I'm sorry you felt I didn't.

If the fights with your folks cause such distress with you then you really should find another way of dealing with them. Cutting yourself isn't a good thing to do, as i said, it hurts and it doesn't really solve the problem. They still get on your case and you stress to the max about it. You've got a very bad (and dangerous) habit there, and I think you should be careful not to justify it. That cycle of stress--->cutting needs to be broken.

You are right that i've never cut myself intentionally, and I do have a way of lightening up the way I speak (lest i sound even more of a 'Know it all' than I already am), however, i think it might be a mistake to dismiss what i'm saying (or suggesting) as irrelevant because i haven't been there. Sometimes, it takes someone with that differing perspective to offer something other than mere support. What you're doing shouldn't be supported, it should be treated, it needs to change.

Consider telling your folks how you react to their demands and expectations, at 13 it will probably only get worse. Get them on your side. To do that, you might need to come clean with them.

And as a P.S., anyone who is a friend of Jacob is an automatic friend of mine.

[ShatteredWings]

sam is a knoitall, but he actually knows what he's talking bout most of the time

Sometimes its hard to listen, but yes, do listen.

I think i know why he's taking this in another direction. your topic could be taken as premoting selfharm, (i said could), and ppl here DO try to talk people out of stuff. it's how vt here works

i'm going to shut up now.

[Coesistere]

Jeeze I not like a didnt lisen or anything, ive been on VT long anough to know
how VT work....thaank you veerrry mucch :rolleyes:

I think as you brought up, my post comes across somewhat as promoting selfharm
now that i read it again. The question is more about "does anyone feel the same thing happens as i do once i cut?", because i DO relise that is a very unhealthy way to relieve my stressful situations and lonely life. The only reason that I got defencive is because of "you've become accustomed to doing something risky" which for some reason at the time I got that confused with another sentence. So my mistake. I pretty much also asked if there was a reason why I feel like the stress is seeping out of my cuts ( which Silence brought anwsered ) AND any solutions to my problem. Hopefully that cleared EVERYTHING up for me, you, and IAMSAM :)

[byee]

girl;301447']sam is a knoitall, but he actually knows what he's talking bout most of the time

Sometimes its hard to listen, but yes, do listen.

I think i know why he's taking this in another direction. your topic could be taken as premoting selfharm, (i said could), and ppl here DO try to talk people out of stuff. it's how vt here works

i'm going to shut up now.

Gwyn, what's up with this about me knowing what I'm talking about MOST of the time?! Where have I failed you? LOL! Oh, well, so much for my success at being humble. Thanks for the acknowledgement, though, I appreciate it.

Anyway, I must confess that out of all the topics here, cutters unnerve me the most. There's just something about raw pain that's both mental and physical that truly upsets me. And, of course, there's the danger. It makes me want to jump thru the screen and fix you! Sorry if I seem either callous or pushy. It comes from a much different place.

If I (or anyone else, i suppose) can help you find another way to deal with the stress (and get to therapy!), please let me know. There really are better ways of addressing your feelings.

*Goes off with Gywn for ice cream*

[ShatteredWings]

Jeeze I not like a didnt lisen or anything, ive been on VT long anough to know
how VT work....thaank you veerrry mucch :rolleyes:

I think as you brought up, my post comes across somewhat as promoting selfharm
now that i read it again. The question is more about "does anyone feel the same thing happens as i do once i cut?", because i DO relise that is a very unhealthy way to relieve my stressful situations and lonely life. The only reason that I got defencive is because of "you've become accustomed to doing something risky" which for some reason at the time I got that confused with another sentence. So my mistake. I pretty much also asked if there was a reason why I feel like the stress is seeping out of my cuts ( which Silence brought anwsered ) AND any solutions to my problem. Hopefully that cleared EVERYTHING up for me, you, and IAMSAM :)


oohhkaaaaaay

dude, you SERIOUSLY need to chill. take the weekend, relax, you'll feel loads better :).

and YES(!!) i hate admitting it, but if you're bleeding, there is a serious problem...call me a hypocrate, i don't care anymore

[SirRawrsalot]

I DID get the whole picture, I'm sorry you felt I didn't.



Consider telling your folks how you react to their demands and expectations, at 13 it will probably only get worse. Get them on your side. To do that, you might need to come clean with them.


Okay, well, first of all if you do tell your parents expect it to be.. unpleasant, to say the least, for a while, but it will help because they can get you into therapy. Your parents may seem like the source of problems sometimes, but they can help find the solution.

Second: Sam is absolutely right, " at 13 it will probably only get worse" (which, from what I've read, is normal...) I'm your living proof. I started a month before my 13th birthday with one little cut, and now (at 16) I've gone to the hospital twice and had some other close calls...

So consider telling your parents eventually, sooner being more helpful than later.