*Sigh* I feel... Empty

[Mzor203]

I have never been successful with relationships. I am an utter failure for the most part when it comes to girls... And I always feel so self-conscious about my small size (I mean my height).

Lately I have just been feeling rather... empty. I want someone to love me, and it just isn't happening. I have problems socializing with people or talking to anyone who is not my friend, especially with girls. It seems I will never have a girlfriend. The longest and only relationship I've had has been one week, and because of this I have no confidence.

I don't know if there's really anything to help me now, bur I'm kind of getting desperate. I have even considered online dating, but that just doesn't seem right.

I don't know if there's much of a point to this thread... If someone can help me, cool, but maybe this is just a rant. I'm feeling quite down most of these days, and I believe a special someone would really help.

[Oblivion]

I know what you mean... I have girl friends but never a girlfriend.
Girls seem to like me.
But as a friend.
And only some creepy scary ones that really scare me
like me more. And its annoying.

[Mzor203]

Well... At this point it's beyond annoying... It's depressing now. I know that there is probably someone out there who likes me, but I can't find them due to my social impairment.

[Hyper]

And your 15..

Any girl will tell you that you just need to be confident, don't ask me how and don't get dramatic on me how would it be possible.. You just have to do it.

People like confident people its pretty simple.. And girls especially like confidence ( unless their the crazy lioness type )

[Underground_Network]

Well, look at it this way, you'll find a girl eventually [or so I tell myself...]... I mean, if there are girls out there that like you, and trust me when I say there are, you'll bump into them eventually and you'll probably click. Even if you're shy or don't know what to say, if she's the right girl she'll understand that. That's what I really think... Because I suck around girls and I'm really shy, and there are a couple girls I know who I think like me and they always ignore the fact that I'm really shy and say stupid things around them... But still, I'm too shy and I lack the confidence to ask a girl out, and if that's your problem too, then I know you can probably grow out of shyness and slowly gain confidence through success... I've learned that you can't just kind of hide from girls, you have to talk to them and get to know them and eventually they'll grow to like you [if they didn't from the start], and then you'll just click, and *voila* a girlfriend... Lol... I don't know, but Rex, you're a great guy and you really deserve a great girl, I'm sure you'll meet the right girl sooner rather than later... Me on the other hand... Who knows?

[emecrazy]

I know what you mean... I have girl friends but never a girlfriend.
Girls seem to like me.
But as a friend.
And only some creepy scary ones that really scare me
like me more. And its annoying.



wow I totally relate to this I have a bunch of girl friends but they see me as friends and crazy obsessive girls like me

but man don't stress over this .. girls arnt everythin just enjoy life single or taken most relationships makes life complicated any ways
:) well that's what I do
ha sorry if this doesn't help im really optimistic

[byee]

Listen, find me a guy of any age who's completely successful with girls and I'll buy him lunch. It's an ongoing issue for us. Girls are very complicated, and relationships moreso. Don't get disillusioned or discouraged.

I think if you look at girls as people, try to take the gender or 'girlieness' out of it (I know, it's hard at first), it might be easier for you. I think first and foremost, girls are people just like us. They have interests and likes and dislikes and such. Try to connect with them on that level, as a person, have a friend who happens to be a girl. Maybe it's freaking you out because you're looking for a girlfriend, and that's a big step. Probably too big. Most good relationships start out as friends. Approach them like that, like you would a new guy at school.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

the teenage years of dating are just practius for when were older, thats what i always think.
honestly once you stop looking for a girl one is going to find YOU.
dont give up hope:)

[My_Toes_Are_Cold]

I had one girlfriend, and she only went out with me to make some other guy jealous.

Feel lucky that you've been in relationships. Girls barely talk to me, let alone ask me out.

[theOperaGhost]

Rex, I know what you mean. I'm quite depressed about it, but I'm hoping in college, I'll be able to be more confident in myself. Just like you, I've only been in one relationship and that lasted like a month or less. You are a great, smart guy, girls will like you. I agree with Adam completely, there is a girl out there somewhere, and you will find her sooner than later. I'm very shy, and can't talk to "new" people. Hell, it took me like 5 years to really start talking to all of my classmates. I have had friends who are girls, and they like me and I like them, but just as friends. We've just got to keep our heads up, and become more confident, and we will find the right girl someday.

[Mzor203]

Omg... I leave you guys alone for 12 hours and this happens. :rolleyes:

Agh, I can't respond to each and every one of you, but I'll just say that, I have never really been looking for a girlfriend until now, and still, I'm not really looking, because there is one girl who I like. But that just isn't going to work out, so I am trying to look beyond her.

I know every guy has problems with girls, but the thing is that I look around and see all of my friends who have had their fair share of relationships, while I haven't at all.

What's even more annoying is that I see nothing more than a simple community college in my future because of the way I am dealing with my education, so college isn't going to be the same, really, unless something happens between here and now.

I have a bunch of friends who are girls, but anyone who I like I am just incredibly shy and tongue-tied around. My confidence just isn't there, and I don't know how I am going to get it up.

[byee]

Well, where's the self confidence? If you don;t feel good about yourself, it's hard to see others feeling differently about you, even if they do. Why are you lacking?

[Mzor203]

That's the problem, I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm really small? I always have had the impression that I'd have more confidence if I were not quite so scrawny. I'm basically shorter than every other girl my age.

[byee]

Hmmm...........I can understand you're self consciousness at being smaller. But, the problem with that is that you have no control over it, there's not much you can do about it. So, you have to try to accept it and develop those other parts of you that the girls are probably more interested in, anyway.

When people feel self conscious it's like this giant kleg light shining on whatever imperfection or flaw they experience. But, what you might want to keep in mind is that no one really notices (or experiences) whatever that is the way you do. That self conscious feeling, that sense that there's something 'different' is really more apparent to you then anyone else.

What might work for you is to join some groups with others who enjoy some similiar activity, where you'll feel less judged on your appearance and more on your ability. Can you do that? Can you find some things to do that deemphasize your appearance an emphasize your abilities?

[Mzor203]

It's kind of hard when everyone comments on how short I am -.-

I do a lot of musical activities, in a bunch of groups, but thus far, nothing has come of it.

[byee]

Ouch, it is hard when they keep jabbing. At 15, you an still grow, so have hope.

Musical things are great (I'm a cellist), not only b/c it's a creative outlet, but the self discipline that is required to play also means that musical people are also less likely to blurt out really nasty comments. Stay with it, these things take some time.

[Mzor203]

Cool, I play violin as my main instrument.

I have noticed that people who play music are generally the nicer and smarter people.

I hope I grow, I know it would help a lot, but it has not happened yet and is showing no signs of happening, and that is kind of discouraging.

[byee]

Hey, we're half a quartet! I agree about musicians, although I wouldn't have put it so bluntly. I think self discipline is a gift that keeps giving, it's useful in so many situations. It's really a signal of depth and interpersonal safety, things you're looking for here.

Stay with it, Rex, don't get discouraged, just keep casting your line in another end of the pond, you'll eventually find people (girls) who will apppreciate you for those inner qualities that you clearly have.

Height is really meaningless, it's not relevant, eventhough it might make you feel better, it's really depth that matters much more.

[Medical Kid]

omg STORY OF MY LIFE, im with ya bro, i too am............short, and some girls are just too shallow to love anyway...... i hope everything works out for you, but dont let people measure yourself just by size! if you believe that your a good person, it should all fall into place.