defexus
June 5th, 2008, 02:19 AM
Alright, so I have had this roommate for 3 years now. I knew that from the first day I saw him, he wasn't my ideal friend. However, we talked and hung out and became pretty good friends. Now we're getting older and kinda finding our own ways. I've matured and realized a lot, and since I'm a psychology major... I've realized a lot about people around me.
Anyway, since I don't have enough training in the area I wanted to share this and get other's peoples take on it. This way I can find out if I'm just being an asshole or if there's something truly off. I'm also using this to vent my frustrations with this situation. I'm trying to calm myself down when he does stuff I don't like but you can only go so far.
Well here's what I know about him. He's 21 and a complete momma's boy.
Sure there's nothing wrong with loving your parents and all but when they come to visit and we go out to dinner or something his mom is like "I love my boy!" and kisses him. Getting a little old for that IMO.
He's had a girlfriend, she wanted to have sex with him, but he declined. He's not religious so there's nothing that would hold him back. That girlfriend then cheated on him. My guess is that she found what she needed elsewhere. However, I didn't know them back at that time so I can't make a better assessment.
Now he's got a long distance thing going on. We live in florida and his girlfriend was in alaska. She moved down here now though. She visited for a week when she still lived in alaska and we played truth or dare with friends at our apt. One of my friends asked either him or her how far they had gone. And she replied in a tone that was giving him a hint saying "Yea xxxxxx how far have we gone?" Which kinda seemed like maybe she'd be willing to do more then the kissing they had been doing. They had hung out together all day and just cuddled and whatever. Yet, he never got blue balls at all. I'm looking for input here as well. If you're a guy and you hang out with a girl and you guys cuddle a lot but don't have sex... do you get blue balls? Seems like every friend I asked said that would be the case and I have realzied this from experience as well... yet, he did not suffer this pain... I'm guessing he's afraid of sex...
He's constantly looking for reinforcement due to his parents always telling him what a good boy he is. Everytime we finish a song in rockband he's like "oh wow I can't believe I did it! Did you see that one part? it was crazy, I can't believe I nailed those notes!" Gets really annoying. I've played the songs myself, and I already realized what the song is, but he talks to me like I've never played the game before... And I'm not talking about an impossible song that he was trying 10x just to finish...
Here's a part that's going to be really controversial. He turned 21 and had nothing to drink. I understand that some people don't like to drink, however, why not just have 1 shot/drink/beer just to celebrate the ability to be able to do it? he claims he always wants to be in control of what he does, but to be honest... when are you? If you sleep for 2 hours... you're tired as fuck and you don't want to do anything but rest. if you have a lot of sugar you get hyper and you do more stuff then you would normally do. Your body makes a lot of the same/similar acting chemicals as other drugs out there (keep in mind alcohol is a drug) so that excuse is null and void in my opinion. He says he's curious about acid but says it's not worth the risks... if you do it once.. what risk? Do you think he's just scared due to a previous event in his life? or since he's a momma's boy he would feel guilty about "betraying" his parents and doing something negative?
I just notice that he does a lot of stuff that I did when I was like 13 or 14... He's basically socially inept. He hangs out in his room ALL DAY. I used to do that when i was in high school because I couldn't drive myself anywhere so I stayed home and played video games. the only friends he has here are 2 girls that we met back in freshman year and they tend to agree with me on most/all of this stuff. We're basically the only people he hangs out with. I've managed to branch out and make new friends to have fun with but he only goes to 1 club meeting once a week and he never hangs out with those people other than at the meeting. Usually people meet new friends at clubs and hang out with them at other times... he has not shown this...
He's also... an asshole. However, I don't know if he knows it or not. But the slick kind, if you know what I mean... Try and remember when you wanted to be an ass about something to someone so you said somethign and tried to disguise it as being funny by adding a fake laugh at the end, a "HEH" basically. Do you know what I mean? he does that a lot. So I don't know if a) he realizes what he said may have been offensive so he adds that on there, b) he does it intentionally to get his little power trip out of it, or c) he just does it and doesn't realize it's an offensive statement. I might have to clarify this later.
Or, if we're playing rockband and i'm drumming and my beat is off by a little and i'm trying to figure it out but it's taking a bit to figure out, he'll just say "A little slower/faster" as if I had not realized it. Because the game definitely doesn't punish poor performance...
I don't know, I'm just really fed up with a lot of shit and I'm trying to keep a friend and see if there's anything that I'm doing that's just excessive as far as judging him for what he does but it never used to bother me until one of the female friend we both know stopped talking to him for being an asshole. It just kinda clicked afterwords and i realized it. It may have been that my mindset changed as I matured...
I think that's it for now... can't believe I wrote that much.
Definitely looking for feedback.
Anyway, since I don't have enough training in the area I wanted to share this and get other's peoples take on it. This way I can find out if I'm just being an asshole or if there's something truly off. I'm also using this to vent my frustrations with this situation. I'm trying to calm myself down when he does stuff I don't like but you can only go so far.
Well here's what I know about him. He's 21 and a complete momma's boy.
Sure there's nothing wrong with loving your parents and all but when they come to visit and we go out to dinner or something his mom is like "I love my boy!" and kisses him. Getting a little old for that IMO.
He's had a girlfriend, she wanted to have sex with him, but he declined. He's not religious so there's nothing that would hold him back. That girlfriend then cheated on him. My guess is that she found what she needed elsewhere. However, I didn't know them back at that time so I can't make a better assessment.
Now he's got a long distance thing going on. We live in florida and his girlfriend was in alaska. She moved down here now though. She visited for a week when she still lived in alaska and we played truth or dare with friends at our apt. One of my friends asked either him or her how far they had gone. And she replied in a tone that was giving him a hint saying "Yea xxxxxx how far have we gone?" Which kinda seemed like maybe she'd be willing to do more then the kissing they had been doing. They had hung out together all day and just cuddled and whatever. Yet, he never got blue balls at all. I'm looking for input here as well. If you're a guy and you hang out with a girl and you guys cuddle a lot but don't have sex... do you get blue balls? Seems like every friend I asked said that would be the case and I have realzied this from experience as well... yet, he did not suffer this pain... I'm guessing he's afraid of sex...
He's constantly looking for reinforcement due to his parents always telling him what a good boy he is. Everytime we finish a song in rockband he's like "oh wow I can't believe I did it! Did you see that one part? it was crazy, I can't believe I nailed those notes!" Gets really annoying. I've played the songs myself, and I already realized what the song is, but he talks to me like I've never played the game before... And I'm not talking about an impossible song that he was trying 10x just to finish...
Here's a part that's going to be really controversial. He turned 21 and had nothing to drink. I understand that some people don't like to drink, however, why not just have 1 shot/drink/beer just to celebrate the ability to be able to do it? he claims he always wants to be in control of what he does, but to be honest... when are you? If you sleep for 2 hours... you're tired as fuck and you don't want to do anything but rest. if you have a lot of sugar you get hyper and you do more stuff then you would normally do. Your body makes a lot of the same/similar acting chemicals as other drugs out there (keep in mind alcohol is a drug) so that excuse is null and void in my opinion. He says he's curious about acid but says it's not worth the risks... if you do it once.. what risk? Do you think he's just scared due to a previous event in his life? or since he's a momma's boy he would feel guilty about "betraying" his parents and doing something negative?
I just notice that he does a lot of stuff that I did when I was like 13 or 14... He's basically socially inept. He hangs out in his room ALL DAY. I used to do that when i was in high school because I couldn't drive myself anywhere so I stayed home and played video games. the only friends he has here are 2 girls that we met back in freshman year and they tend to agree with me on most/all of this stuff. We're basically the only people he hangs out with. I've managed to branch out and make new friends to have fun with but he only goes to 1 club meeting once a week and he never hangs out with those people other than at the meeting. Usually people meet new friends at clubs and hang out with them at other times... he has not shown this...
He's also... an asshole. However, I don't know if he knows it or not. But the slick kind, if you know what I mean... Try and remember when you wanted to be an ass about something to someone so you said somethign and tried to disguise it as being funny by adding a fake laugh at the end, a "HEH" basically. Do you know what I mean? he does that a lot. So I don't know if a) he realizes what he said may have been offensive so he adds that on there, b) he does it intentionally to get his little power trip out of it, or c) he just does it and doesn't realize it's an offensive statement. I might have to clarify this later.
Or, if we're playing rockband and i'm drumming and my beat is off by a little and i'm trying to figure it out but it's taking a bit to figure out, he'll just say "A little slower/faster" as if I had not realized it. Because the game definitely doesn't punish poor performance...
I don't know, I'm just really fed up with a lot of shit and I'm trying to keep a friend and see if there's anything that I'm doing that's just excessive as far as judging him for what he does but it never used to bother me until one of the female friend we both know stopped talking to him for being an asshole. It just kinda clicked afterwords and i realized it. It may have been that my mindset changed as I matured...
I think that's it for now... can't believe I wrote that much.
Definitely looking for feedback.