i think someone wants me to be depressed

[Chewiem]

clinical depression has run through all males in my family since before Canada was Canada. but my dad, grandpa and so on have been on effexzor ( i cant spell it) and it has helped them all amazingly. but when i was put on it, it went in side of me and Destroyed me totally. i'm talking total recluse and so since i was almost 12 i have been on so much drugs and all of them have fucked me over. so drugs wont help, counselor pisses me off and friends don't know how to talk to me couze they are scared it will hurt me.

playing music helps me for a good hour then i hear my own lyrics and it kills the moment

what the hell can pull me out of this shackled cage

[Techno Monster]

If I where you I would try to find a diffrent counselor.

[Chewiem]

in general they just anger me because they all are doing the same thing for the same reason, if they actually cared about my case they wouldn't want money to help me. its like paying someone to be your friend

[Hyper]

in general they just anger me because they all are doing the same thing for the same reason, if they actually cared about my case they wouldn't want money to help me. its like paying someone to be your friend

Then find a good counselor

You won't get over clinical depression without the right meds and thats a fact

[Chewiem]

umm are you paying attention. i hate counslers all for the same reason. and the fact i need a fucking pill to make me feel somewhat happy is bloody dumb. i might as well do e for that effect

[notsure101]

If your fine with talkin to you friends talk to ur friends

[Chewiem]

i am, they arnt fine with talking to me, they dont know how to handle it which i dont blame them

[byee]

I guess the good news is that the type of depression you have is understood (it's inherited), and there's meds that treat it. The bad news is that eventhough these things are biological and we can understand them (or try to understand them) based on what's worked with others in your gene pool who have had it, it's not always so exact, accurate, or precise.

But, you have to have hope, and you have to keep trying. Sometimes it takes a while to find the meds (or combo of meds) that work for you, you have to have hope, don't get discouraged, and stay with it.

With regards to the therapy and the money, well, let me say that although money might be involved, it's really incorrect to think that the financial component of it somehow negates the therapists feelings and regards for you. You can tell when someone respects you and likes you, even if money is involved. They have expenses, too. And all that training costs money. Don't use it as a way to justify quitting or being cynical. They can help if you let them.

Try opening up, get more involved in therapy, and stay focused on getting well and utilizing their expertise to help you with that. And remember that most people your age really aren't equipped to address alot of what you might tell them, so maybe it's best to just hang out with them and enjoy them for what they ahve to offer, and save the therapy for the therapist.

[Nihilus]

Talk to your friends and find a good councilar.

[foof1]

have you stopped taking the drug?