My Situation.

[tnemssarabme]

First of all, hello all, I only pop in so often if I have a desperate dilliema on my hands, this one definitley fits the criteria. Technically this does relate to relationships, though not exactly.

Well, to start of I guess I should oreintate you. I'm 16, male and go to an all boys school. I have never been in a relationship before. It's definitley something I'd like, but there's a stage even before that I'm yet to reach. My main and most utter problem is that I hardly ever interact with girls. This is sort of my fault and sort of isn't.

This is because (as I said) I am in a single sex school which obviously restricts my interactions majorly.
This is also because I am a rather shy person. Meaning when not a school, I'm not one to take up opportunities where I could interact with girls (not that there are that many opportunities).
And finally I hardly ever interact with girls due my stupid, dimwitted friends who are so frickin invasive and judgemental. I find this mainly prominent during an optimum time in which I could be able to talk to girls: The bus ride to and from school. Heres an example of what they may do: literally anything I might say to a girl given an opportunity will be judged by my friends (I have about 5, it is only two in particular who are so judgmental). I can hardly say anything to girls if those idoits can hear me. Anything I do, anything I say, they'll have to comment about it and embarass me. Why can't they just leave me alone? I don't embarass them when they talk to girls. Don't get me wrong, in all other aspects my friends are great, I need them to sustain myself, there's no way I'd give them up. Anyway, like I said in the example, its become literally impossible so I've practically given up, there are other opportunities just none as good as that.

So at the moment, I'm really saying I'd like a relationship, but before that I just want to be able to talk to girls in general. I mean seriously, at the moment I probably talk to a girl my age about once a month, and if I do it'll only be a few words, nothing with emotion, my friends won't allow that. I feel as though I'm being left behind, I mean guys on our bus 3 years younger than me talk to girls more often than I do. Heck, they've had relationships and I haven't!! I feel so damn deprived! Please, please can you help me!!

[thesphinx]

If your friends are bothering you just tell them to stop and explain how you feel, if they are good friends they will listen.
And as a reference I'm 16 and haven't been in a relationship, so don't worry about it.

[byee]

Well, two things come to mind here. First, I think although it's easiest to chat on the bus, if your friends get in the way, you can either tell them to quit it, and/or you can take it upon yourself to find the time (and place) to find girls outside of the bus, and away from yuor friends. Sure, it's really convienent to do this on the bus, but girls are everywhere, ther are social situations you can find them without your friends. Figure out how to do this.

As an FYI, friends get very possessive with eachother (sometimes), and they might feel threatened by your doing something (talking to girls) because it takes you away from them. It also gets you something they don't have, and might like. You're obviouslyentitled to have both a g/f and your guys, but it takes some management skills here. A lot of guys keep it seperate, they keep time with their guys seperate from their g/f time, everyone's happy that way. Maybe you can try this, eventhough it means a little extra work on your part.

[tnemssarabme]

If your friends are bothering you just tell them to stop and explain how you feel, if they are good friends they will listen.
And as a reference I'm 16 and haven't been in a relationship, so don't worry about it.

I'm hardly an influential person, but I'll give it a go next time it happens.

Well, two things come to mind here. First, I think although it's easiest to chat on the bus, if your friends get in the way, you can either tell them to quit it, and/or you can take it upon yourself to find the time (and place) to find girls outside of the bus, and away from yuor friends. Sure, it's really convienent to do this on the bus, but girls are everywhere, ther are social situations you can find them without your friends. Figure out how to do this.

As an FYI, friends get very possessive with eachother (sometimes), and they might feel threatened by your doing something (talking to girls) because it takes you away from them. It also gets you something they don't have, and might like. You're obviouslyentitled to have both a g/f and your guys, but it takes some management skills here. A lot of guys keep it seperate, they keep time with their guys seperate from their g/f time, everyone's happy that way. Maybe you can try this, eventhough it means a little extra work on your part.

I know there are other opportunities, they're just really hard to find. I currently say to myself I should make sure my academics are up to scratch before considering a relationship which I think is fair enough. I have all the time in the world to get into a relationship, but not all the time to pass high school and Uni. But you're right, I do need to make an effort. You couldn't offer me a few tips on how to obtain those opportunities though?

Hmmm, that is a good point about them about being possesive, that may be a part of the case, yet I'm still sure they wish to embarass me for a part of their intention.

And then there's the other problem that I feel a little more comfort when with friends to talk to girls (obviously not with the friends who embarass me). Argh! This is all very confusing. I always think, when I get to Uni it'll be easy. The friends will probably be gone and there will be girls all around, but I feel I rely on it too much and I shouldn't procrastinate... *confusion*.

Thanks for the help guys, I'll be sure to use it.

Sorry for the double post guys.

I'm not trying to be rude to the guys who have responded to me (I respect you and your advice is invaluable to me), but is there anyone else who has some thoughts that may help my situation to improve?

[Merged double post, use the "edit" button next time. Thanks - Thesphinx]