Opinions wanted

[4IrishJustice]

Normally I only write essays and other nonfictional works, but I write them in a poetic voice. After giving it some thought, I realized that I could break down these writings into free verse poems. I'm not new to writing, but I am a novice to poetry. I'd like to hear some comments, both good and bad, from the people of Virtual Teen.


A beautiful woman in all her wonder
Walking gracefully over a padded floor
Passing in and through a man’s heart and mind
Haunting his life and his dreams

The kind whose skin seems to radiate
Lighting the faces of all who glance upon her;
Just the memory of her can spark a fire of passion
To burn in even the most stolid man

She is ignorant of her power
She doesn’t realize her lips alone,
As soft and sweet as a rose in the morning dew,
Are enough to drive a man insane

Yet through all the suffering she brings
A beautiful woman is all a man can want
Nothing else can cause the glorious pleasure-pain
That breaths life into the soul

[The Batman]

Wow that's good it sorta flows right into each line but I did have a problem with two lines...Passing in and through a man’s heart and mind this one doesn't really flow real good I think you should reword it a smidge.
And...To burn in even the most stolid man I didn't really understand the word stolid until i looked up, why not find a different word like indifferent or impassive or a different word. Besides that I loved it.

[Mzor203]

And... I didn't really understand the word stolid until i looked up, why not find a different word like indifferent or impassive or a different word. Besides that I loved it.


Pffft... thee with limited vocabulary. I say keep stolid, as it's a bit shorter and that helps the poem to flow a bit better. Thomas pointed out everything, great free verse poem.