Tell me what you think?

[Vinnie]

Ok lemme explain my story to you guys. I'm 20 in 5 days. I've never been in a relationship before and only got my first kiss last week. I dunno why but I've just been scared about being intimate with girls for my whole life until recently. I asked out this girl at work and we went to a club together where we danced, grinded and kissed the night away. I met with her the next day where we went to a fancy dress party together, her as cinderella and me as a prince. I took her to the garden where we were alone and we kissed and hugged for a while, until we went home around 2am as we were both working the next day. I was attracted to her at first but after that night i lost it :| I don't know why and i felt pretty bad. The next day i saw her at work and she wanted to go out again, so we made plans to just hang out in the park the next day. I met her and we hung out just talking and she was asking me about why i asked her out etc and tbh i didn't know what to reply, because i wasn't attracted to her at all by now and i think she sensed that i had lost my interest a bit. I still don't know why I was attracted to her at first and i feel really guilty as I was the one who showed interest in her first and asked her out. Anyways after having hung out we went home and she texted me saying she had something to say to me but she was too shy to say, i can't remember exactly what was said but i eventually told her i didn't want to hurt her and she told me it's ok as she wasn't looking for anything serious and i told her neither was i.

After that we didn't talk for a day until i saw her at work where she wanted to talk about us. She asked me why i asked her out, to which i replied 'well your friend told me you liked me and i was interested, but now i dunno' (which was true). I myself can't really give a logical reason as to why i asked her out as well, because she isn't the type of girl i would usually be attracted to. She told me she felt better that i told her this and i told her 'i'm sorry and i hope you don't think i'm a dickhead'. I never told her I had never been in a relationship as she asked me how long my longest relationship was, which I said was 3 months. Ok…well I asked her if we could still be friends and she said yeah of course and shes coming to my bday party this week, so that’s all cool….. I hope.

Now I went out with 2 friends last Saturday and I met another girl there. Where, after having known her for barely 1 hour I kissed her and she had to go home. She texted me the next day and we’ve arranged to go out this Friday.

I just want to know, is it strange that I’ve kissed more girls in 2 weeks than I have my whole life? Is anyone else going through/been through the same thing? And finally do you think I should tells these girls that I’m still new to all this, as I know it could be a major turn off? Please tell me what you think about all this.

Thx

-Vinnie

[mr.sexy_bomb]

yeah is normal since ur an adult now ^.^

[Coesistere]

Though I have a hard time replying to this because..well..i fell like some 2 yr old giving advise to a 10 yr old
( ect ) but there is nothign to worry about, its all apart of new expirences in life. If growing up and changing what we do and the "maturity level" of what we do was considered weird then we really would still just act like we kids the rest of are lifes ( considering if people didnt want to do something weird ). Just take in these new expirences and go with the flow because they will most likely be more freqent. As for telling the people you kiss that your new to intament contact, well thats your choice but it really shouldnt matter either way. Hope this helped,

TieKid

[The Batman]

With your co-worker it seems as if you weren't really attracted to her but the idea of being with her than once that came true you started to really see her. Since you are getting older all of the awkwardness during puberty is starting to end so it's easier for you to approach girls now. Why not be truthful and let them know that you were never in a relationship it could make it stronger and bring you and whoever you end up with closer.

[curiousteen]

i feel the same way because i liked a girl and like i ask her out she said yea so the next day we made out and after that i didnt want 2 go wit her anymore cause i wasnt attracted to her. i guess the only reason i wanted to go wit her is because i wanted to make out wit her or have sex wit her, idk. its kinda confusing lol

[ScotsGirl]

I just want to know, is it strange that I’ve kissed more girls in 2 weeks than I have my whole life? Is anyone else going through/been through the same thing? And finally do you think I should tells these girls that I’m still new to all this, as I know it could be a major turn off? Please tell me what you think about all this.

Thx

-Vinnie

I dont think its strange you've kissed 2 girls in that amount of time. :-)

A lot of people experiment a lot with the opposite (as well as the same) sex, so you're fine. :-)

If you want to tell them, go for it. But I dont think you should feel you have to. However, it is something that involves you opening up and it could in turn lead to her opening up about herself. And that could lead to a great friendship :-)
I think it was really nice of you to be honest with the first girl, because she asked you why.

As for it being a turn off, I disagree. When you start getting to know a girl better, and you talk to her about it, you're really opening up to her which is a good thing :-)

Anyway, I hope everything works out for you and...your girls ;) :P

xxx

[bubukitty]

Sounds to me like you're treating every girl that is friendly sexual. There's a diffrence. that's just my opinion.

[Hyper]

Your 20 soon.. I wouldn't really worry.. Unless you start hurting girls just enjoy your youth, you'll need to learn things anyway..

Besides you dont' really seem like the guy who hurts girls on purpose.

[Vinnie]

Thx for the comments and advice guys :) It's been re-assuring.

I've got something else I'd like to say now though, about this second girl I'm seeing. We were meant to go out one time and she failed to turn up. It wasn't a real date as i was with my friends and it was just a local pub. She said she would come and say hi, but she didn't and 3 hours later she texted me saying that she had fallen asleep after having decided to take a quick nap. I didn't know wether to believe her or not, but i chose to shrug it off and arrange another date with her. So we arranged to meet up one evening and she asked if she could bring her friend along who had a date too, which didn't bother me so long as i wasn't left there with her and her friend alone. But apparently her friends date decided to cancel and i was left there with her and her friend. Was slightly awkward at first but we managed to get along great, having a few drinks and then grabbing something to eat. We decided to head home after and all was well.

We organised to meet up again on a saturday night, but i had to cancel as i forgot it was my leaving party that day. So i asked her if we could do Sunday for a bit of ice skating then something to eat, which she said yes too. So yeah, we had been texting each other all week, flirting and talking about stuff and i though everything was going great, she was telling me she was looking forward to Sunday and so was i. So when Sunday comes, i get an early text from her to say she can't come as she was called in to work instead. Can't say i wasn't dissapointed, but i asked her if we could go out after her work had finished, to which she said she was too tired and we should go another time.

So guys, is she messing with me or what? She seemed pretty into me as she told me she 'couldn't wait to see me' and she was 'looking forward to it'. But i dunno, seems like a pretty mixed message :( It wasn't like they forced her to work as she was meant to be off and she doesn't even like her place of work, plus it's nothing she needs to be to commited to as shes just an assistant in a clothing store.

So guys, what do you think?

[Maverick]

Well we obviously don't know what her intentions are but girls can be complicated.

You can look at this at two ways: optimistically or pessimistically. Optimistically speaking they could be legitimate excuses and its simply bad luck. Pessimistically speaking she could be lying and is trying to avoid it all and she's hoping you'll take a hint and move on.

You can throw in the towel now or you can try again and see what happens. I think if another excuse happens I'd predict that she's avoiding you and is hoping you'll take a hint and stop trying. All I am doing is speculating but I think if she was really concerned about it she would do everything she could to make up for the missed visit.

Its up to you if you want to try again. The worst that can happen is another excuse and by then I think you'll for sure realize it then.

[byee]

First, I do not think seeing 2 girls in a week is excessive. rather, i;d want to know what's held you back until now.

Then, I'd say that you ahve a lot of catching up to do, this dating stuff is pretty complicated, and often by the time guys trun 20 they've got some experience so they not only know what (and how) to say/do stuff, but also what to expect. I understand why it must be a bit confuzzling for you!

What I'd suggest is tht you take it slow, say and do what's comfortable for you, go at your own pace. Most girls have their wn experiences and their own agendas which, althugh you cannot immediately figure out, really make themselves apparent pretty quickly. If t doesn't work out or if it doesn't feel right, talk with them about it and see what they say.

It's been said that Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus. But we all speak English. Talk with them about yur feelings and your needs and give them the opportuntiy to listen to you and respond.