Why does my mother do this?

[Brandon639]

My mother has a serious problem with listening on the phone. Thats how she found out I thought I was gay. (Which I was wrong) And now, when I am on the phone with my girlfriend, (even though she doesn't know shes my girlfriend...) she ALWAYS happens to pick up the phone to make a call, and then stays on the phone! She listens to my entire conversation! And then, when my and my GF are joking around about things, my mom will come up to me the next day and be like, this girl is a bad influence on you, and I'm not going to let you talk to her, and all this other crap, and she doesn't even know her! And when I told her that she doesn't even know her, she had a fit! She blew up in my face and is like "You know what, when I accidently pick up the phone, and you guys are talking about what you're talking about, then I just won't let you talk to her" I wasn't even aloud to defend my friend! Whats up with that?!

Sorry, I really had to vent...
Brandon

[vulcan12]

that tottaly sucks

[Techno Monster]

Try talking to her about this, or getting a cell phone. Also what about downloading an instant messenger??? (AIM etc.) or just use email.

[Brandon639]

Well I have a cell phone, we just don't get service, and we have email and IM, we just prefer talking over typing. And she can use her phone more than her computer.

[Sugaree]

Tell her that your sick and tired of being pushed around.

She has no right to be doing that. That is invasion of privacy and no one has the right to do it except for government or police officials.

[byee]

Brandon, the issue here is your privacy. You and your mom would do well to talk about that specifically, not the content of whatever she happens to hear while eavesdropping.

Maybe you and she can find a quiet moment and discuss what your privacy needs are (calmly! Be calm!), and see if you cannot get her to respect that, see why she feels the need to listen in.

Alot of times, parents listen in because they recognize that things are changing for their kids and that they have no control or influence (or even knowledge) of it all. Adolescence can be pretty unsettling for parents, too (so i'm told), and if you can provide some reassurance for your mom about your activities and your friends, she might be less anxious about it, so she'll have less of a reason to listen in.

But be calm here, and reasonably talk about your need for privacy and her need to respect that, and see of she cannot offer a reason why she's doing this which you can address directly (be parepared to do that!).

[redcar]

She has no right to be doing that. That is invasion of privacy and no one has the right to do it except for government or police officials.

You will find that because he is a minor, she can.

[Sugaree]

You will find that because he is a minor, she can.

Yes I see that he's a minor but people need to have a certain level of privacy.

there needs to be a level set that says "Ok I'll give you as much privacy as you need. But if I suspect you of anything then that privacy is gone." But that's what happens. Trust becomes less and less if that privacy is invaded.

[mr.sexy_bomb]

find another way 2 comunicate or keep both phones untill u r done talking

[Oblivion]

I'm not positive but i think no matter how young you are and even though shes your mom, its still illegal, just impossible to prove in court.
a) The judge would always believe the parent
b) Your mom could argue it really was a mistake
and
c) since it is here phone/phone line, she may have rights =/

Sorry man, good luck, follow the advice previously stated and talk to her about it calmly

[The Batman]

Yes I see that he's a minor but people need to have a certain level of privacy.

there needs to be a level set that says "Ok I'll give you as much privacy as you need. But if I suspect you of anything then that privacy is gone." But that's what happens. Trust becomes less and less if that privacy is invaded.
Well he is only 14 and at that age we pretty much have barely any privacy. Here's what you do call her whenever your mom isn't home or isn't around or get a microphone and talk to her on skype it'll pretty much be the same thing.

[Mr. Smithers]

Well you and your mother can compromise.

She is not doing this because she is being nosy or anything like that, she is just doing it because she is over-protected.

Just find a time and sit and talk with your mother. Say I will only be on the phone for 30 minutes with my girlfriend. And if she isn't happy with that, maybe you should let your mother talk to you girlfriend. You said yourself she doesn't know who she is. Parents become more comfortable with relationships if they get to know the other person and their family.

[shikachunin]

Try talking to her about this, or getting a cell phone. Also what about downloading an instant messenger??? (AIM etc.) or just use email.

He already has skype, yahoo, msn, and aim

[kerry]

i would try to find another way of communication !

[iceyfresh]

thats rude of her to do