Ok well I guess you could say I'm a hypocrite

[Rutherford The Brave]

As You all know I created that list of things you can do instead of cutting. Well point is last night was incredibly rough for me, so I cut and very deep. I used to cut, and well tonight was different. Instead of getting the rush I used to get, I just hated myself and flung all the stuff of the desk. This morning Noor looked at my wrist which at the time was encrusted with blood and she just hugged me. This is a serious problem because now I have to spend my school days in a guidence room because of my suspension. At this point I want to know if I should have done that, and If you guys could accept my apology for being such a huge hypocrite.

[VCSCjosie]

ohh it's ok. we all are hypocrites sometimes. yea that has pretty much happened to me too. i am going through alot of which you went through.

[ShatteredWings]

everyone screws up sometimes...i've talked ppl out of offing themselves, but i've wanted to myself...

[-Silence]

"Instead of getting the rush I used to get, I just hated myself and flung all the stuff of the desk."

Believe it or not, that's a good thing. Since it didn't work like it was supposed to maybe next time you won't feel like you have to turn to it as much as you did now. It's a good sign, even though I know it doesn't feel like it.

Also, we are all hypocrites, we think more of other people then ourselves. Which is why we lead other people away from self harm but do it ourselves. We know what it's like and don't want others to follow us.

Hun, you'll be okay, and I'm sorry if this doesn't help at all, but I'm here for ya.

:hug2:

[ShatteredWings]

Believe it or not, that's a good thing. Since it didn't work like it was supposed to maybe next time you won't feel like you have to turn to it as much as you did now. It's a good sign, even though I know it doesn't feel like it.

very true. its easier to stop when you know it doesn't work

[irhmrh]

If you wana hide it go out and buy a wrist band or just wear hoodies.

[thesphinx]

Everyone slips you just have to get back up and keep trying. :hug:

[Rutherford The Brave]

I'd like to say its that easy with Noor already in her second trimester. Still its not as easy as you guys precieve it to be I'm currently working a job that keeps me up till 11 then I come home to 4 hours of homework. to be honest I almost offed myself but then I realized the reprocussions of my actions so i didnt.

[Crystal-Clear]

Sounds like a tough time *Hugs*
Read your signature, it has a point 'Lets wait out the storm together'
Thats all you have to sweetie, is wait it out, and sometimes it may seem like forever, time always does that to us, but you'll get there.
And what Silence said is very true, it is a good sign that you found the self harm had lost its effect.
Just remember that most things in life are far easier said than done, but its the people around us, and those supporting us, that at least make things slightly easier. One of the things that always cheers me up, is knowing I'm not alone, and I never will be =) Neither will you, so I wish you the best with your job and homework and everything. It'll all even out once your done with school/college (whatever it is your at).

[Rutherford The Brave]

What sucks now is that I can't even stay in the smae home as her, she's grounded. Having no Guardians I now spend nights in the offices of the resteurant I work at....... Yeah 29 days without Noor and a real bed I should have offed myself...

[Crystal-Clear]

No no, thats not the best way, you would hurt Noor if you did that.
Are there no shelters, or friends you could stay with for a little while? Perhaps talk to your school or something about your situation, I'm sure they could find accomodation *Hugs*
All the best hun, I hope things get better.
Just remember that even in the rain, theres a rainbow if you look hard enough.