Mzor203
May 14th, 2008, 01:22 PM
Yes, I have started yet another novel. This one's going quite well thus far, I only have the prologue though. Read if you dare.
Prologue
Council Hall, Boundary Zone
Zhar, the 7th, 164 UP
Lamon Tor gazed out across the sea of noblemen and officials clothed in robes of different colors as they strode about and conversed with one another as they awaited the arrival of the remaining members of the council. He himself sat at a large wooden table located on a raised stage with four other leaders, all from one of the five countries of the island continent Ardenka. The council gathered on the seventh day of every year to discuss and debate issues or propositions the countries had. For the last 164 years, a non-aggression pact had been signed by each country, and Ardenka had remained relatively at peace. This year, however, tensions were high, and Torom, the largest of the five countries, was becoming more hostile.
As the last of the nobility entered the council hall Luoldor Savoram, the leader of Laerden, a country which was situated largely by the sea and thus known for its ports, stood to address the hall.
“Welcome, lords and ladies to the annual council meeting. We have some very important matters to discuss this evening, and we are going to start by having Saramoss Thael, leader of Lohke, announce any concerns he has.” Luoldor sat down slowly into his chair as Saramoss stood and gazed out across the crowd.
“I welcome you, lords and ladies, to this meeting,” he began, his sharp eyes scrutinizing the assembly of council member before him. Lohke was an a country in the far north of Ardenka, and it stayed covered in snow for much of the year. Saramoss, as with the rest of the population of the country, was more pale than most of the other peoples of the continent. His shoulders were always tense, making him look like a cat that might strike at any moment. He thought about his next words carefully for a few moments before he continued. “As some of you may know, Lohke has been having... troubles, these last years. The weather has been colder than it ever has been before, and blizzards have attacked us throughout the year. These conditions are making it difficult for the people of Lohke to continue surviving in our climate, as it is nearly impossible to hunt in a blizzard, and any attempts at farming in the short summer have been destroyed by the cold weather. Unless these events cease very quickly, we will soon be forced to move out of our country.”
There were murmurings at this from the representatives of the other countries, but the noise was silenced as Mahteia Ak'asey, the leader of Xohene, a country renowned for its vast deserts, stood, waving her hand.
“Where do you plan to go, if you take this course and decide to leave your home?” Her voice was calm, yet there was obvious dislike and suspicion in it.
“That we have not yet come to a conclusion on,” Saramoss said just as calmly. “Either one of two things will come to pass: another country offers us land to stay temporarily so we can prepare for the weather to settle to a more normal pattern, or we fight for that land.”
“Did we not sign a non-aggression pact?” Luoldor asked, raising an eyebrow. “War will lead nowhere but to needless destruction.”
“If something doesn't happen we are going to die anyways,” Saramoss replied. “The pact is bound to broken at some point. There is no way it will remain
intact.”
“That doesn't mean we have to break it just yet,” Mahteia said. “Let's try and see if we can't avoid a battle here.”
“If that is to be the case,” Lohke's leader said, his sharp eyes boring into Mahteia's, “then someone will have to be so generous as to lend us some land for a small period of time. Or would you rather have a war?”
“No, we do not want a war,” Luoldor said. “This topic is heading nowhere at the moment, so we must move on to more pressing matters.”
“And what might these be?” Lamon asked curiously.
“I'm glad you asked.” Luoldor cleared his throat and continued. “As you know, Laerden is a country whose economy is strongly dependent on fish. We export it to other countries, and many come here to our towns and villages to fish themselves in our seas. We are a fairly wealthy country, yet the number of fish in the ocean around some of our our larger fishing spots seems to be depleting rapidly. We are certain that it is not the high amount of people fishing in our country, for there has always been much many more fish than our people could catch. There is something else, something in the ocean scaring them away.” He paused, thinking for a moment, before proceeding. “The environment in Laerden is not fit for growing many types of crops, only a few that can be grown elsewhere as well, so we will lose a major export. This will weaken our country and make us vulnerable.” He cast a suspicious glance at the leader of Torom, Esstan Leos, as he said the last part. Esstan had been quiet thus far, listening intently to the other countries' problems.
“So what do you want us to do about it?” Saramoss asked abruptly. “We can't make the fish come back.”
“No, you can't,” Luoldor said patiently. “But I have an idea of what might be scaring them away, and I do believe that Veredin's navy could be of assistance to us.”
Lamon raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“As you know,” Luoldor explained, “our army is a very small one, we've never had to rely on it in the past as we've never angered another country enough to go into war with them. We don't have a navy, yet right now it would be helpful to have the help of one, as I believe some type of sea creature, or multiple ones have moved into some of our main bays and kept the fish away from our shores. Depending on how large and fierce these creatures are, we will not be able to drive them away.”
“What do you believe these beasts are?” Lamon asked.
“No one can tell as of yet, as nothing has yet been spotted. One of the elders on the council of our capital believes they may be krakens, though he is hesitant to support that theory strongly, seeing as no one has seen a kraken for hundreds of years.”
“And you wish us to help you get rid of these creatures?”
“Yes, if we aren't rid of them we will have to find another way of sustaining ourselves, either by land farther north where we can grow more crops to export, or by another country's help.”
“I hardly doubt you'll be able to fight your way into new land,” Mahteia spoke up. “Your army is barely large enough to take on a small village, let alone an entire country.”
“I am sure many of our men, now out of jobs, would be able and willing to take up a weapon to fight for their country,” Luoldor replied.
“There will be no need,” Lamon interrupted. “Veredin will be willing and glad to help, as you in the past have supported us with resources during hard times.”
“I thank you on behalf of Laerden, Lamon Tor,” Luoldor said graciously. “Rid of this problem we will be able to go back to living peacefully.”
“Well this is all very well, yet our problems still have not been taken care of,” Saramoss said coolly. “Remember, we will fight for land if it comes down to it.”
“I'm assuming you won't want land covered by vast deserts?” Mahteia asked.
“No, that wouldn't do us good,” Saramoss replied. “It wouldn't be an easy place to live temporarily.”
“Then I'll step out of this debate,” Mahteia said, sitting down in her chair.
“No,” Saramoss continued. “What we need is an area of land in the northern part of either Veredin or Torom.”
“I'm afraid that I am not willing to do that,” Lamon said.
“At least not until Veredin's troops have been re-positioned. They are all stationed in the southern part of the country presently, and I'd need to have a decently sized force stationed near where you would settle before I would feel safe having you within my borders.”
Saramoss's eyes narrowed, though he didn't say anything, instead turning to Esstan, the leader of Torom, saying, “Your country has troops stationed everywhere. Surely my population would not be a threat to your country?”
“No, it wouldn't,” Esstan said, finally speaking, and rose from his chair. “Yet, why should I help you? There is no benefit to me”
Saramoss tensed. “There could be benefit, if you require it.”
“If I wanted something that you had, it would not be of trouble to me to simply take it from you.” Esstan grinned.
“Would it?” Saramoss was silent. Everyone was well aware of Torom's military prowess. It's army was more than twice as big as Xohene's, which was also very large.
There was a tense silence before Lamon spoke. “Don't be arrogant, Esstan. You're surrounded by countries on all sides, and pulling something like that would not be a wise choice.”
“Really, Lamon?” Esstan asked with a small grin on his face. “Would you really go to war with Torom just to help Lohke?”
“Not necessarily to help Lohke,” Lamon said, “but for the safety of the rest of the continent. If you take over Lohke and continue to think this way, we're all in danger.”
“Don't worry, I'm not planning to go that far. I won't do anything if Saramoss just settles down.”
“How can I settle down when my people are in danger of being completely destroyed?” Saramoss took a step closer to Torom's leader.. “You will have what you deserve, Esstan, you can be sure of that.”
“And is there a reason that you don't see fit to threaten Lamon?” Esstan asked, suddenly angry.
“Veredin has a good reason to reject me,” Saramoss said. “You have said yourself, you are strong enough to defeat Lohke, so why would you worry about us settling temporarily on a small section of your country? You have troops stationed in every city, surely there is a northerly place where we could settle for a month or two.”
Esstan fell silent, glaring at Saramoss. “There is no reason for us to help you. This is your problem, why can't you deal with it yourself?”
“Have I not already expressed that if we stay within our borders we'll all die?” Lohke's leader slammed his fist angrily down on the table. “We will resort to war, Esstan. If we're all going to perish either way, we'll go down fighting.”
“You wouldn't do that, and you know it.”
“Then you obviously don't know me.” The two leaders stood glaring at each other, both looking like they were ready to spring at the others' throat.
Lamon stepped between the two leaders, saying, “There must be an alternative to war.”
“The only alternative is Esstan giving us some land to occupy temporarily.” Saramoss's eyes flashed in irritation and annoyance. “He has pushed us beyond the point of simply debating, it's time for war.”
“Well I'm sorry you see it that way, Saramoss,” Lamon said. “You have justification, yet throwing the continent into chaos and turmoil isn't going to help any of us.”
“You stay out of this,” Esstan growled at Veredin's leader. “This doesn't concern you.”
“It concerns me as it concerns everyone else on this continent,” Lamon snapped back. “We have been at peace for 164 years, and for the benefit of everyone, we should be keeping it that way.”
“You can't prolong war forever,” Esstan said. “It's bound to happen eventually, and it seems that now is the time fate has chosen to put our two countries at war.”
Mahteia suddenly spoke up, saying to Esstan, “Xohene is not going to stand by idly watching you two throwing this continent into war. By going through with this you will have made two enemies.”
“He's the one who provoked it!” Torom's leader said, rounding on Mahteia. “It's not our fault, if you want someone to attack, go attack his country!”
“He may have launched this battle between you two, yet there was no reason to refuse him land for a couple of months. It is obvious that all you want to do is expand you borders, and expand your army, and that is dangerous to the rest of us.”
“I would not go to battle if his country wasn't trying to launch a war against me,” Esstan yelled angrily, pointing at Saramoss.
“Again, you're the one who provoked it,” Mahteia said. “I suggest that if you don't want to get into a war with multiple countries, you just allow Saramoss's people to stay in your country until the weather in Lohke calms down.”
“I refuse, there is no point in helping him when it wouldn't benefit my country.”
“Then you have only brought this upon yourself,” Saramoss growled.
Esstan glared at Saramoss. “There will be war, then,” he said quietly, threateningly.
“Esstan, no” Lamon said. “You can prevent this...” He was cut off as suddenly a loud, clanging bong rang through the council hall, and then a second, and a third before the bell was quiet. Lamon glared at Esstan.
“Xohene and Lohke will not be your only enemies if you continue with this.”
A small smile crept across Torom's leader's face as he stepped down from the raised platform on which the high table stood. He gathered his nobles together and exited the hall, the smile not leaving his face.
Constructive criticism please.
Prologue
Council Hall, Boundary Zone
Zhar, the 7th, 164 UP
Lamon Tor gazed out across the sea of noblemen and officials clothed in robes of different colors as they strode about and conversed with one another as they awaited the arrival of the remaining members of the council. He himself sat at a large wooden table located on a raised stage with four other leaders, all from one of the five countries of the island continent Ardenka. The council gathered on the seventh day of every year to discuss and debate issues or propositions the countries had. For the last 164 years, a non-aggression pact had been signed by each country, and Ardenka had remained relatively at peace. This year, however, tensions were high, and Torom, the largest of the five countries, was becoming more hostile.
As the last of the nobility entered the council hall Luoldor Savoram, the leader of Laerden, a country which was situated largely by the sea and thus known for its ports, stood to address the hall.
“Welcome, lords and ladies to the annual council meeting. We have some very important matters to discuss this evening, and we are going to start by having Saramoss Thael, leader of Lohke, announce any concerns he has.” Luoldor sat down slowly into his chair as Saramoss stood and gazed out across the crowd.
“I welcome you, lords and ladies, to this meeting,” he began, his sharp eyes scrutinizing the assembly of council member before him. Lohke was an a country in the far north of Ardenka, and it stayed covered in snow for much of the year. Saramoss, as with the rest of the population of the country, was more pale than most of the other peoples of the continent. His shoulders were always tense, making him look like a cat that might strike at any moment. He thought about his next words carefully for a few moments before he continued. “As some of you may know, Lohke has been having... troubles, these last years. The weather has been colder than it ever has been before, and blizzards have attacked us throughout the year. These conditions are making it difficult for the people of Lohke to continue surviving in our climate, as it is nearly impossible to hunt in a blizzard, and any attempts at farming in the short summer have been destroyed by the cold weather. Unless these events cease very quickly, we will soon be forced to move out of our country.”
There were murmurings at this from the representatives of the other countries, but the noise was silenced as Mahteia Ak'asey, the leader of Xohene, a country renowned for its vast deserts, stood, waving her hand.
“Where do you plan to go, if you take this course and decide to leave your home?” Her voice was calm, yet there was obvious dislike and suspicion in it.
“That we have not yet come to a conclusion on,” Saramoss said just as calmly. “Either one of two things will come to pass: another country offers us land to stay temporarily so we can prepare for the weather to settle to a more normal pattern, or we fight for that land.”
“Did we not sign a non-aggression pact?” Luoldor asked, raising an eyebrow. “War will lead nowhere but to needless destruction.”
“If something doesn't happen we are going to die anyways,” Saramoss replied. “The pact is bound to broken at some point. There is no way it will remain
intact.”
“That doesn't mean we have to break it just yet,” Mahteia said. “Let's try and see if we can't avoid a battle here.”
“If that is to be the case,” Lohke's leader said, his sharp eyes boring into Mahteia's, “then someone will have to be so generous as to lend us some land for a small period of time. Or would you rather have a war?”
“No, we do not want a war,” Luoldor said. “This topic is heading nowhere at the moment, so we must move on to more pressing matters.”
“And what might these be?” Lamon asked curiously.
“I'm glad you asked.” Luoldor cleared his throat and continued. “As you know, Laerden is a country whose economy is strongly dependent on fish. We export it to other countries, and many come here to our towns and villages to fish themselves in our seas. We are a fairly wealthy country, yet the number of fish in the ocean around some of our our larger fishing spots seems to be depleting rapidly. We are certain that it is not the high amount of people fishing in our country, for there has always been much many more fish than our people could catch. There is something else, something in the ocean scaring them away.” He paused, thinking for a moment, before proceeding. “The environment in Laerden is not fit for growing many types of crops, only a few that can be grown elsewhere as well, so we will lose a major export. This will weaken our country and make us vulnerable.” He cast a suspicious glance at the leader of Torom, Esstan Leos, as he said the last part. Esstan had been quiet thus far, listening intently to the other countries' problems.
“So what do you want us to do about it?” Saramoss asked abruptly. “We can't make the fish come back.”
“No, you can't,” Luoldor said patiently. “But I have an idea of what might be scaring them away, and I do believe that Veredin's navy could be of assistance to us.”
Lamon raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“As you know,” Luoldor explained, “our army is a very small one, we've never had to rely on it in the past as we've never angered another country enough to go into war with them. We don't have a navy, yet right now it would be helpful to have the help of one, as I believe some type of sea creature, or multiple ones have moved into some of our main bays and kept the fish away from our shores. Depending on how large and fierce these creatures are, we will not be able to drive them away.”
“What do you believe these beasts are?” Lamon asked.
“No one can tell as of yet, as nothing has yet been spotted. One of the elders on the council of our capital believes they may be krakens, though he is hesitant to support that theory strongly, seeing as no one has seen a kraken for hundreds of years.”
“And you wish us to help you get rid of these creatures?”
“Yes, if we aren't rid of them we will have to find another way of sustaining ourselves, either by land farther north where we can grow more crops to export, or by another country's help.”
“I hardly doubt you'll be able to fight your way into new land,” Mahteia spoke up. “Your army is barely large enough to take on a small village, let alone an entire country.”
“I am sure many of our men, now out of jobs, would be able and willing to take up a weapon to fight for their country,” Luoldor replied.
“There will be no need,” Lamon interrupted. “Veredin will be willing and glad to help, as you in the past have supported us with resources during hard times.”
“I thank you on behalf of Laerden, Lamon Tor,” Luoldor said graciously. “Rid of this problem we will be able to go back to living peacefully.”
“Well this is all very well, yet our problems still have not been taken care of,” Saramoss said coolly. “Remember, we will fight for land if it comes down to it.”
“I'm assuming you won't want land covered by vast deserts?” Mahteia asked.
“No, that wouldn't do us good,” Saramoss replied. “It wouldn't be an easy place to live temporarily.”
“Then I'll step out of this debate,” Mahteia said, sitting down in her chair.
“No,” Saramoss continued. “What we need is an area of land in the northern part of either Veredin or Torom.”
“I'm afraid that I am not willing to do that,” Lamon said.
“At least not until Veredin's troops have been re-positioned. They are all stationed in the southern part of the country presently, and I'd need to have a decently sized force stationed near where you would settle before I would feel safe having you within my borders.”
Saramoss's eyes narrowed, though he didn't say anything, instead turning to Esstan, the leader of Torom, saying, “Your country has troops stationed everywhere. Surely my population would not be a threat to your country?”
“No, it wouldn't,” Esstan said, finally speaking, and rose from his chair. “Yet, why should I help you? There is no benefit to me”
Saramoss tensed. “There could be benefit, if you require it.”
“If I wanted something that you had, it would not be of trouble to me to simply take it from you.” Esstan grinned.
“Would it?” Saramoss was silent. Everyone was well aware of Torom's military prowess. It's army was more than twice as big as Xohene's, which was also very large.
There was a tense silence before Lamon spoke. “Don't be arrogant, Esstan. You're surrounded by countries on all sides, and pulling something like that would not be a wise choice.”
“Really, Lamon?” Esstan asked with a small grin on his face. “Would you really go to war with Torom just to help Lohke?”
“Not necessarily to help Lohke,” Lamon said, “but for the safety of the rest of the continent. If you take over Lohke and continue to think this way, we're all in danger.”
“Don't worry, I'm not planning to go that far. I won't do anything if Saramoss just settles down.”
“How can I settle down when my people are in danger of being completely destroyed?” Saramoss took a step closer to Torom's leader.. “You will have what you deserve, Esstan, you can be sure of that.”
“And is there a reason that you don't see fit to threaten Lamon?” Esstan asked, suddenly angry.
“Veredin has a good reason to reject me,” Saramoss said. “You have said yourself, you are strong enough to defeat Lohke, so why would you worry about us settling temporarily on a small section of your country? You have troops stationed in every city, surely there is a northerly place where we could settle for a month or two.”
Esstan fell silent, glaring at Saramoss. “There is no reason for us to help you. This is your problem, why can't you deal with it yourself?”
“Have I not already expressed that if we stay within our borders we'll all die?” Lohke's leader slammed his fist angrily down on the table. “We will resort to war, Esstan. If we're all going to perish either way, we'll go down fighting.”
“You wouldn't do that, and you know it.”
“Then you obviously don't know me.” The two leaders stood glaring at each other, both looking like they were ready to spring at the others' throat.
Lamon stepped between the two leaders, saying, “There must be an alternative to war.”
“The only alternative is Esstan giving us some land to occupy temporarily.” Saramoss's eyes flashed in irritation and annoyance. “He has pushed us beyond the point of simply debating, it's time for war.”
“Well I'm sorry you see it that way, Saramoss,” Lamon said. “You have justification, yet throwing the continent into chaos and turmoil isn't going to help any of us.”
“You stay out of this,” Esstan growled at Veredin's leader. “This doesn't concern you.”
“It concerns me as it concerns everyone else on this continent,” Lamon snapped back. “We have been at peace for 164 years, and for the benefit of everyone, we should be keeping it that way.”
“You can't prolong war forever,” Esstan said. “It's bound to happen eventually, and it seems that now is the time fate has chosen to put our two countries at war.”
Mahteia suddenly spoke up, saying to Esstan, “Xohene is not going to stand by idly watching you two throwing this continent into war. By going through with this you will have made two enemies.”
“He's the one who provoked it!” Torom's leader said, rounding on Mahteia. “It's not our fault, if you want someone to attack, go attack his country!”
“He may have launched this battle between you two, yet there was no reason to refuse him land for a couple of months. It is obvious that all you want to do is expand you borders, and expand your army, and that is dangerous to the rest of us.”
“I would not go to battle if his country wasn't trying to launch a war against me,” Esstan yelled angrily, pointing at Saramoss.
“Again, you're the one who provoked it,” Mahteia said. “I suggest that if you don't want to get into a war with multiple countries, you just allow Saramoss's people to stay in your country until the weather in Lohke calms down.”
“I refuse, there is no point in helping him when it wouldn't benefit my country.”
“Then you have only brought this upon yourself,” Saramoss growled.
Esstan glared at Saramoss. “There will be war, then,” he said quietly, threateningly.
“Esstan, no” Lamon said. “You can prevent this...” He was cut off as suddenly a loud, clanging bong rang through the council hall, and then a second, and a third before the bell was quiet. Lamon glared at Esstan.
“Xohene and Lohke will not be your only enemies if you continue with this.”
A small smile crept across Torom's leader's face as he stepped down from the raised platform on which the high table stood. He gathered his nobles together and exited the hall, the smile not leaving his face.
Constructive criticism please.