What do I do about a friend who is too obsessive?

[pinkichigo]

I met one of my friends 4 years ago and we have gotten close. There was a year that we didn't talk because we didn't know how to contact each other, and there are times when I wish that I had just left it that way. If you have ever had a friend who is a die-hard fan of something, you may feel a bit nervous when it comes to the fact that they might not always have that in their lives. She is very obsessed with WWE wrestling. She wants to be a diva wrestler someday, and she is always talking about it. I support her and all, but I shudder to think what could happen if her dream doesn't come true, because I have heard her say that can't doesn't exist if she cant have wrestling. And there have been a few instances with school and her boyfriend that have put suicidal thoughts in her head. I talked with her on the phone while she held a handful of perscription drugs in her hand. That scared me soo bad! Also, she has high blood pressure and they are linked to her worry levels. She has a thyroid problem which really gets her hormones going and makes her stressed and on edge. The problems keep comming. Her boyfriend isn't giving her attention at all, and because of the stress that her boyfriend has put her through I have almost lost her, whether it's suicidal thoughts or heart-attacks linked to her blood pressure.

The main problem is that she is very clingy to me and can't go more than a day without talking to me. (it's the same with her boyfriend too. and I think he just cant put up with her anymore) Before she got too clingy her and i planned on living together when we're older.(after I go to college and serve a mormon mission) Now I have dreams to live somewhere else because and have a different job than i originally wanted when we decided this. I don't want to break her heart and tell her that i don't want to live with her because I want to travel, get married and have a family when I'm that old. I don't even know how long she is thinking that we will be living together, and she's just too dang clingy that i can't stand it. She is just a problem for me now and I don't even know if our friendship is worth the trouble. Can someone please offer me some advice? I feel like I'm going crazy here.

[myskias]

well maybe tell her about VT and maybe this site can help her out a little with her problems, that way she might be able to ease up a little. but i dont know what to say ur friend seems like shes having some problems and i dont know what u can do about it.

[pinkichigo]

I try and ignore it and let her ease up, and she has been on forums seeking help with her boyfriend but it just seems that problems are coming one after another. I have problems of my own and it's really hard to listen to hers for hours in a day when I have phone restrictions. I really do try.

[Nihilus]

Tell her about vt. Always support her because she needs it. If you just drop her as a friend it may drive hewr to suicide which will be very bad. She apparently needs you so basicly im saying that to her your friendship to her means alot. DON'T BREAK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pinkichigo]

I understand. Driving her to suicide is my worst fear in all of this. i will tell about vt. I can see that there are some things that she should read on this site. thank you all. I still want more advice though. See what other people think!

[Requin]

Well i agree with what people have said about VT!!
Maybe you could try and help her meet other friends that you know would be supportive. It might work, but yeah the VT idea's best.

[Sugaree]

I try and ignore it and let her ease up, and she has been on forums seeking help with her boyfriend but it just seems that problems are coming one after another. I have problems of my own and it's really hard to listen to hers for hours in a day when I have phone restrictions. I really do try.

Don't ignore it to let her ease up. Just tell her that you'll get through life just like all other people.

Like she's a fan of WWE. Tell her about her favorite diva and tell her "They more than likely had the similar problems when they were your age and look where they are now. They've made it through, and so can you."

[pinkichigo]

That is very supportive. I tell her about her divas all of the time. I think that they are definitely the reason she's gotten by. She is so determined, but still I am afraid for her. There are other reasons why i want to back down from her that make it so rough. I don't think she is a very good influence on me. I attend a church with strict standards. I very much believe that they help me everyday to stay out of sticky situations, except this.

[kolte]

Reach to your faith to guide you, even though I turned my back on the Mormon faith a long time ago, it was always a comfort to pray and to pry threw my thoughts to find out the right thing to do. She sounds a bit lost in wishful thinking in a time where emotions run high. She will come threw, all young people do, its no reason to think she will go on forever with the same goal, even if it was her childhood aspiration. Hell, after I turned sixteen, knowing my entire life what it was I was destined to do, all of the sudden I realized I had no idea, and changed my goals a million times, until finally I'm just frozen in time. Tell her how you feel exactly, don't sugarcoat or harshen any details. We can't tell you what to say, what is right, wrong...there are no concrete definitions of these words. Just do what feels right i suppose.

Introduce her to Marx.