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View Full Version : critique me? If Only She Told......


ShatteredWings
May 3rd, 2008, 09:26 AM
A girl who could’ve been saved
If
If only

If only she could communicate
to someone
If only someone saw
Her crys
for help
if only

If only she had told
Someone would’ve helped
Teachers
Coaches
Friends
no
she didn’t tell
she kept it
To save her family from shame
if only someone knew
she’d be happier

She’s on the edge now
Third time’s the charm?
She hopes second
ALMOST anyway
But
She won’t
She promised herself
NEVER go
It’s not worth it

If Only She Told

Nihilus
May 8th, 2008, 09:44 PM
nice and kinda sad. Love the poem!!!!

ShatteredWings
May 9th, 2008, 08:41 AM
i was starting to wonder if i'm just that bad lol :P

the result of extreme frustration and not sleeping haha

Willie Wonka
May 11th, 2008, 04:04 PM
I liked that alot! Very good!