harming myself

[jewishmonkey5]

I am 15 years old

[dogman]

Request move to Cutting and Self Harm

[Gumleaf]

Request move to Cutting and Self Harm

please just report posts that need moving. no need to post in the thread, thanks! :)


boys puberty - cutting/self harm

[Rutherford The Brave]

Call the police this is a serious matter, please do not meet him anywhere he'll probably take you away and maybe you could tell the police to go to the place where you are to meet this may because he's trying to soliscite sex from you (a Minor) which is against the law (statutory rape)

[Oblivion]

Also other than what KGTM said- NEVER TRY TO KILL YOURSELF.!PERIOD! Your parents and families views of being gay doesn't mean you should die! Your probably not even gay! Hormones make your mind go crazy! I think about gay things sometimes, i even have watch gay porn, and im straight. How old are you? If your under like 19, which you have to be to be on this site, then you are still going through puberty and things fly into your head. Finally, even if you are gay, it's not something to be ashamed of! People are just weird about it... because... I don't know why! No reason! But don't kill yourself!

[The Batman]

This is not hormones I'm sorry but I think you are gay and all this guy did was uncover it. The reason why you feel so bad is because growing up you learned that being gay was the worse thing in the world and that being straight was the only way to be. You need to just stop seeing this as a terrible thing and start thinking about being happy. If you keep coming down so hard on yourself then you might complete the next suicide attempt and think about all the people you will hurt by doing that.

[Oblivion]

This is not hormones I'm sorry but I think you are gay and all this guy did was uncover it. The reason why you feel so bad is because growing up you learned that being gay was the worse thing in the world and that being straight was the only way to be. You need to just stop seeing this as a terrible thing and start thinking about being happy. If you keep coming down so hard on yourself then you might complete the next suicide attempt and think about all the people you will hurt by doing that.

How old is he? Personally i believe that you literally CAN'T be gay if your still going through puberty. When your going through puberty your brain is really going through a transformation from child to adult. It changes so much you can't really make any decisions like that... In my opinion of course

[The Batman]

You are born gay and you stay that way for your entire life all puberty does is bring those thoughts to life. He is the same age as Axellance so how do you explain one of them being able to be gay and the other not. Hormones don't cause you to have gay thoughts constantly and they certainly don't cause you to talk to an older guy online an watch gay porn constantly. We can't just tell him it's nothing but hormones what if he gets done with puberty and these thoughts are still there what is it then? I'm giving him the truth and not trying to just tell him what he wants to hear because this is a serious subject that could tear you up inside and eventually kill you if you keep denying it.

[Oblivion]

I'm saying wait and see, because yes, hormones do make you think about things like that. Just wait don't declare yourself gay because of these things. Hormones make you think things!
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=23415&highlight=hormones
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=23325&highlight=hormones
Search "Hormones" for more... But seriously don't tell him he's gay when hes still figuring things out

[The Batman]

I'm not going to argue with you I'm simply trying to help him figure himself out because I have gone through the same thing almost exactly including the suicidal parts and what helped me was the realization and acceptance of my sexuality and not you or anyone else is going to stop me from telling him the truth because I refuse to lie and say your not gay and that its just hormones because it is not just hormones there is just as much a chance if not greater that he is gay.
(read my posts in those threads)

[Maverick]

How old is he? Personally i believe that you literally CAN'T be gay if your still going through puberty. When your going through puberty your brain is really going through a transformation from child to adult. It changes so much you can't really make any decisions like that... In my opinion of courseI agree that 15 is simply too young to come to that conclusion.

[Atonement]

Okay, even though thre are sides to each story, I believe that his what some people would call a "curious" stage may not have been active. And, when he received these photos and sexual things, it kind of sparked and started becoming stronger and stronger. Yes, I believe that a person is born gay, but still, people often make the mistake of thinking they are gay even though, these kinds of things do not make you gay. It is something to still figure out. Its complicated.

[The Batman]

I agree that 15 is simply too young to come to that conclusion.
Still though I think its quite stupid to only say its hormones when there really is just as big of a chance that it is not, and by what he has told us this goes way past hormones because any straight guy among seeing those pics would delete the guy off of his friends list and erase the pics or probably just delete the guy and keep the pics hormones don't cause you to continue to speak to him and also a lot of what he was saying is a sign of denial on behalf of a nonacceptance of homosexuality which is something that all gay guys go through during earlier stages of it and also any straight guy would be alot more confident in his sexuality and just shrug it off more easily.

[Atonement]

But still hormones, would make him curious enough about it that he would still look and be curious of them. Saying that he is straight, doesn't mean he can't be curious. You know that.

And yes, it is too young probably.

[The Batman]

But still we can't give him one side of the story without even mentioning the other.

[Atonement]

Still though I think its quite stupid to only say its hormones when there really is just as big of a chance that it is not


I have to say, that is inaccurate by the way. So, to stop this debate, I am going to wrap it up.

Yes, there is a chance that this man is gay, though there is just as large, if not larger of a chance that he is not and he is simply curious and going through puberty like everyone else.

Please, back on topic.

[silentc0re]

Dude dont kill yourself its not worth dieing if you are who you are they WILL accept you.

[thesphinx]

being a teenager can be difficult and challenging but please don't kill yourself because you will get over this even though it seems like a mountain right but you have to keep going!
A lot of teens go through a "curious" stage and a lot of them aren't gay it's simply the hormones then again some of them are gay but you really have to wait until after puberty to know.

[Kietkarbad]

darkwing is jsut out to "get people to accept there gay" seriously dude... stfu... everything u say is like your gay gay gay gay.... not once have i seen u said its curiousity.. i been gonig through this shit for a whole month... and i kno iam straight for a fact. cus they thoughts are random and no offence would choose death of homo"s so in turn darkwing stfu.. and stop telling kids 10-15 they are gay.... (not to offend anyone here sry)

[Oblivion]

darkwing is jsut out to "get people to accept there gay" seriously dude... stfu... everything u say is like your gay gay gay gay.... not once have i seen u said its curiousity.. i been gonig through this shit for a whole month... and i kno iam straight for a fact. cus they thoughts are random and no offence would choose death of homo"s so in turn darkwing stfu.. and stop telling kids 10-15 they are gay.... (not to offend anyone here sry)

Although i do agree with that a little bit, try not to be rude :) No offense really means nothing because if you said something that could have offended someone, it was meant to offend them. Try to keep nice :)

In turn, i think that jewishmonkey has gotten his answer, although he hasn't answered, and there is a debate thread for this... Requested lock so there isn't anymore argument? [Edit: errr sorry should have reported to lock i guess, Reported for lock :)]

[Maverick]

The Pscyiatric Ward is not the place for debates. Stay on topic of helping the original poster, not debating. Thanks.

[Oblivion]

Or that instead thanks mav. :) Jewishmonkey it would help if you could update us :) But,like ive said before, hormones make you think all kinds of things, and its not necessarily you being gay. Also, even if you turn out to be gay,you shouldn't let your parents opinions hurt you dont be hard on yourself, DONT kill yourself because someone will always love you

[Uhh.Huhh RAN_DOM]

dude its totally hormones i have the same thoughts as you don't let ANYONE! tell you what you are and if you except that you might be gay then please try and live with it.

[Axellance]

I would not go so far as to say your definitly gay or your definitly straight. We cant just look at sexuality in a black and white way there is all kinds of catagorys. Here's the deal i know im gay because i have strong emotional attachent to guys as well as physical attraction and i am not attracted to girls as more than friends, there is a chance you may be gay but thats something u have to figure out yourself. killing yourself is not a good idea because you can be happy eaither way, my dad is a total homofobe but i realized he is wrong in his beleifs, and i am happy with myself in spite of that, because i am intitled to be me and i accept me. so ppl need to stop looking at this so black and white sexuality is a verry complex and your not even nessisarily gay or straight there are outher catagorys that you can fall under. i do think that over time you may realize thaty while you are attracted to men u perfer women, i think you should just work on letting yourself except all options and fallow your heart.

ps: to the ppl who have responded to darkwing_t's post i think you where a bit excessive he is intitled to his opinion and he is not the one who made it a debate it is the people who replyed to his post directly, rather than the origan thred creaters question.

[jma94]

Okay, I have a few things to say. First off, this thread doesn't seem to be answering the topic at hand... This person asked for help. The one good point is Suicide isn't worth it. Some said before in a previous post that you CAN'T be gay at his age. Well, then how can you be straight? You really never know until your older years. Someone once said "I think everyone is born Bi sexual but society leans us one way or the other" Seems true right? And why is being gay so bad? Because it's not as common? Come on now, Being gay is not something to be ashamed of. It's another form of sexual attraction. Just like heterosexuality. realize this, it could be hormones, or you could be homosexual. Either way, It's not somthing to be ashamed of. If your parents don't accept it, it's their loss. If they care about you, they will accept you as you are. Don't worry so much about it, and try to keep yourself safe.

[foof1]

The question is, are you ok with being gay. If you are just be who you are, but keep it a secret from your parents. If you are not ok with being gay, you don't need to tell anybody about it. Nobody will know if you don't show it or if you don't want to be gay don't.

[liam]

wtf light in darkness? i cant believe what im reading... you cant tell a 15 yr old hes gay because he has gay thoughts! its probably hormones pal, dont listen to anything else till ur older.

[The Batman]

Besides the fact that this is a month old, don't try and belittle what I put just because you don't like what I had to say. If you don't believe me just state your opinion and keep going there was no reason for you to attack my comment. Anyways the OP hasn't responded to it since his original post so obviously he doesn't care anymore.

[byee]

I don't know how I missed this one, but luckily Thomas bumped it. And although the OP hasn't returned and it's been some time, I'm going to respond b/c I think the original situation merits a review and maybe a different perspective.

I think the real issue here is NOT if the OP is gay, or if his experience is revealing anything to him that was previously unknown, like if he was gay. Rather, I think it speaks to the real risk of sharing things online with strangers, especially when they turn out to have a really bad agenda, a bad reason for wanting to talk with you. That's what's going on here. Because when we 'like" someone we're naturally more open and receptive to them, which makes us vulnerable. That's OK if both people want the same thing, but clearly that is not the case here.

When you connect with people online, eventhough it's anonymous (maybe b/c it's anonymous), there's this tendency to 'fill in the blanks' about them in your mind. We make our online contacts more real with what we think they're like, what we'd want them to be. That's harmless enough when we're dealing with 'regular' people (of any age) who just want to connect, when there's no other motive for it (unlike the OP's situation). The feelings that develop are OK, people want to "Like" the people they're hanging out with, even online. Nothing bad comes from liking someone and being open with (and to) them.

However, when you meet up with someone who uses the anonymity of the internet to basically seduce you, who uses your feelings about them and you receptivity to them to get you to do things that you wouldn't otherwise do in "real life", then a lot of other things happen inside, too. Like question yourself and your sexuality and so forth. That's b/c someone has taken advantage of you, they've victimized you. The OP was victimized, he was taken advantage of. And victims often don't think clearly b/c they've been victimized, they've been thru a bad emotional experience, they've trusted someone and been violated as a result. And as we all know, when powerful emotions get stirred, logic often takes a hike. So, being exposed to unwanted sexual advances by someone you trusted and liked would make someone question sexual things about themselves. It does NOT mean you are 'Gay'. It means you've been terribly upset by what's happened, b/c it shouldn't have happened. You've been violated emotionally, eventhough it's online, the feelings are just as real as if this happened in reality.

My advice to the OP (if he gets this) is to terminate that contact immediately and not get reinvolved, and maybe stay away from strangers online. And, if you continue to have these frightening thoughts about yourself, to recognize that what you're probably reacting to is the victimization, it is not about your sexuality. And if that does not help, and you continue to have bad thoughts and feelings, to tell some adult and get to a doc.

[Never_Forget]

You are born gay and you stay that way for your entire life all puberty does is bring those thoughts to life. He is the same age as Axellance so how do you explain one of them being able to be gay and the other not. Hormones don't cause you to have gay thoughts constantly and they certainly don't cause you to talk to an older guy online an watch gay porn constantly. We can't just tell him it's nothing but hormones what if he gets done with puberty and these thoughts are still there what is it then? I'm giving him the truth and not trying to just tell him what he wants to hear because this is a serious subject that could tear you up inside and eventually kill you if you keep denying it.

NOBODY is just born gay. Anybody CAN be gay, it doesn't mean they ARE. Personally I think during any stage of you life you can be gay, as love is Physical AND Mental attraction to a person. Unless of course you're some freaky asexual thing. Then you can't really be either.

[The Batman]

Um phosogene storm
The Pscyiatric Ward is not the place for debates. Stay on topic of helping the original poster, not debating. Thanks.
Why not read the other posts before you post.

[Maverick]

Why not read the other posts before you post.
I did thank you very much. I am giving you one and final warning not to smart off like that to me again.

[The Batman]

I wasn't talking about you I meant the poster above me.