what is wrong with me?

[titanic]

i dont know what is going on with me at the minute.

i would have to be the most body concious person ever.
i am always thinking about how fat i am and i just have no confidence. (i am 163 cm and 45kilos and everyone always says im skinnny (bull crap))
and i cant get it out of my head.
i will be out any where or watching tv, anything and i will look at peoples legs and thier bodys and just wish i was skinnng like them.

i dont eat when i am at school and i dont eat at home after school, but i have to eat dinner (the parents) and then after it i feel like shit. so crappy and yuck. i wish i could just puke it up.


and today mum made me a massive turkish bread salad roll for lunch. (she doesnt know i dont eat at school) and i just got so angry then really sad where i could have cried.

i dont know what is going on.
it is just always constantially on my mind.

but then some times i go on big binges and just eat like all sugar. and then like get so depressed after woods, i hate myself.

I JUTS WANT TO BE SKINNY!
what is wrong with me?

[Atonement]

Though we can't officially diagnose you on the internet, it sounds like you are suffering of anorexia nervosa and bulemia. I know from personal experience of myself and my friend (who died from it) that it is incredibly dangerous. I would try to go talk to a psychiatrist or just a family physician as soon as possible to be safe. I realize you want to be skinny, and you are, i know you dont believe me, but that size is pretty small. And you are going to be at very high risk for anemia, dehydration, fatigue, and starvation if you don't get healthy. You body needs so many calories a day and if you don't get those, you can become VERY physically ill.

But ultimately, you need to get this under control before it intensifies. I highly suggest visiting a doctor (psych or phsyician) and try to get some therapy, possibly medication, and if it is horrible enough, you could even need to be hospitalized. But the first step, is too tell your parents. On that, just try to sit them down, explain it, and ask for help...

Well, I think I have said all I have to say, so I wish you the best of luck with this, and I hope you feel and become better soon!

Feel free to private message me at anytime you need help or anything. I will always be open to help you. :D Good luck.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I've also had first hand witness and have expierenced this, but you still got to eat. Look, your young and often times not eating can do damage to your body down the long road. You have to see someone,its the only thing you can do in this situation.