The Best Way to say "I love You"

[Lil' Kiss]

I'm 14, almost 15. I found out sometime at the beginning of this year that i was bi. And how did i find out? I fell in complete love with a beautiful girl. I am still attracted to men but there is something about her...

I don't think it's a crush. I love to be around her, I love her, she's perfect in my eyes and if she ever told me she had a flaw i would die. I just love her..
She's so beautiful, she has gray eyes with yellow centers, they look like storms of life and I loose myself in them. She's just perfect. And I'm not beautiful at least I don't think i am though i've been told i am. I have long blond hair with brown low lights and normal brown eyes. I am not skin and bone but I'm not overweight either, but still, I'm nothing compared to her.

We go to school together and she hangs out with girls (i am one of them) who act all open about sex. To put it simple were very blunt. A girl in our group who's a year younger than us said she was Bi a few days ago. It shocked me, how could she just say it? No one in our group criticized her. Infact some of them said that was awesome, the girl I'm in-love with who (since i don't want to keep writing 'the girl im in-love with') I will refer to as Vida (life in Italian) as she is my life. Anyway, Vida asked her when she found out, I didn't listen cause I was still recovering from internal shock. I who felt my world might die if i came out like she just had, could not comprehend her properly.

Anyway, thats the least of my problems. My Vida comes over for sleep-overs every-now and then and we share my bed (queen). I love sleeping next to her, not in a sexual way, just a loving way. I love being close to her, i love the smell of her hair, the warmth of her skin. But I hide my sexuality from her and i can't get close, I can't hug her like I want to.. It hurts me.

Were very open and fool around alot. She'll let me put my arm around her waist when we walk around malls, though I'm sure she thinks it as a joking/friendly jester, not the love i feel when i do it.

I love her...

I want to tell her I'm bi, i want to tell her I love her more than i love everything else in my life. i want to tell her she's perfect to me, I want to tell her she's my everything, that she means more to me than life itself.

But thats where it hurts me. She is my everything. What if when i tell her I'm bi it's different then it was with our friend? What if she rejects me? I want to tell her.. i want to be allowed to be intimate with her, buy her things and spoil her without having to give a reason other than 'cause i love you'. But if i tell her I love her.. and she doesn't love me... that would be worse than if she shot me. I don't want to loose her asa friend, i would die if suddenly she acted different around me. I like to sew.. i sewed her a heart that says i love you on it... i mean it, but i don't think she understands it the way i mean it.

I'm so confused... A few of my friends joke around with her, faking to be lesbians just to torment the people who think they are. They have told me they aren't, they told the group they aren't. But what if they are? What if one of them is already involved with my Vida? I would be so hurt if it turned out i got there too late...

I love her so much...

I wonder if i shouldn't wait till the end of the year (were going to different schools) to tell her, then if things go wrong we can forget each other. But what if she says she loves me too? Then i will have waisted a whole year cause i was a piece of chicken shit..

Should i open with telling her I'm bi? Then maybe ask what her deal is, see if she is too.. then i can know whether to take my chances or not? I don't know.. can someone out there help me? I'm so confused...

[The Batman]

I think it would be better to come out as bi then see where it leads from that. Maybe you can also tell her that you have a crush on her or you could say something like if I dated a girl it would probably be you. Don't just tell her your in love with her yet just wade it out and see how she feels about you being bi first.

[Lil' Kiss]

Ok thankyou Dark :)

[crash007]

Wow that is very deep. The next time she comes over, you should just tell her that you need to tell her something because its killing you inside. Explain to her that you are bi. If she is a true friend she will accept it. You should then tell her that you like her as more than a friend. She may already know based on the way you are with her(holding her waist in mall, sharing bed) You will most likely feel much better after you tell her this. Make sure you talk to her face to face and not over the internet or through another friend because it wont be as effective. You seem like a great person and I hope everything works out for the best! Dont forget to keep us posted on whats happening!!!

[Maddi]

I agree with crash. If you have such deep feelings for her, you need to work your way up to telling her. Just don't get worried about it. Things always have a way of working themselves out.. I hope that you have the best of luck with 'Vida', and I believe that happiness comes in all forms, so if she ever objects to the idea of you being bisexual when you tell her, she wasn't worth the love in the first place. And if she doesn't object.. then I hope that you two have a great relationship. :]