Talking to little brother about puberty, sex, and masturbation?

[jacobe]

I m 16 and my little brother is 12. I ve noticed that he has started to begin puberty and I want to talk to him about all of this stuff because I know my parents won t. I never was told about any of this and I want my brother to know that what he s experiencing is normal. We are not super close but I m hoping that talking to him about this and letting him know that I am there for him could make us closer? Any advice on how to have and approach this conversation would be appreciated!

UPDATE:
Thanks for all of the advice so far!!
I would also like to talk to him/show him about masturbation? Any ideas or suggestions on how to go about this?

[Vermilion]

How have you noticed he is starting ? Maybe just Say I've noticed X. I know it can be embarrassing but I want to talk to you and explain cos mum and dad won't.

[iChrisbtv96]

I would probably start by asking about girls and if he has a crush on any. Then maybe ease on the topic of sex somehow and jerking off

[jacobe]

How have you noticed he is starting ?

he's doesn't really care if he is seen with out clothes on and just recently he has started growing pubic hair

[SethfromMI]

well I would actually just let him know you are there to talk about anything he might want to talk about and leave it at that

[pjones]

How have you noticed he is starting ? Maybe just Say I've noticed X. I know it can be embarrassing but I want to talk to you and explain cos mum and dad won't.

i think that's a great way to approach him. but for discussions about sex and masturbation, books or reference articles from the internet are great resources, especially if he's too shy to discuss it openly. you can give him those and offer to answer any questions he may have.

[Sports Boy]

My little brother and I have always shared a room so I started noticing when he was beginning puberty. And later, his voice was changing. So I just said to him something like "puberty kicking in, huh? Some of it can suck. I'm not that far ahead of you if you ever want to talk." I think it was easier for him after that to talk about stuff. He makes it worse because he's always comparing himself to his friends so I'm glad we can talk about it. Just don't make fun and be real supportive.

[nklarke]

I would tell him the stuff you would have liked to know at his age and that your parents didn't tell you.

[Just JT]

Seems to me like this is all pretty good advice, but what I'd add is that if he is confident enough to be nude with you, and you admit you aren't to close, I'd leave it a pretty open I ventation to talk about anything, not just what you want to talk to him about

[Uranus]

I say go for it man, it's best he learns about this stuff from you, since your parents wont, then him finding out somewhere else. Don't make it seem weird though, just let him know that if he has questions about anything, to ask you and don't worry about doing so

[Just JT]

Just be careful, sometimes things can also go to far, and with your age difference, perception could be a problem

[Cadanance00]

My older half=brother is 3 1/2 yrs older than me and I was really receptive and happy he wanted to tell me about sex. I can go to him with any question. I hope you do the same for your bro. Mom is really open about it too, but it's better to talk to a guy.

[jacobe]

Seems like everyone thinks it's a good idea to talk to him. Do you guys have any specifics on what to say or how to approach the conversation?

[Second Chance]

Seems like everyone thinks it's a good idea to talk to him. Do you guys have any specifics on what to say or how to approach the conversation?

I would start out the conversation letting him know that over the next couple of years he might start experiencing changes that it is normal to have questions. If he does, then you should let him know that he can go to you and that you will be a resource for him and will never judge him. From there let him direct the flow of the conversation, and if he is not receptive, then give him space because he will eventually come to you especially once his sex drive kicks in.

[sam99]

well I would actually just let him know you are there to talk about anything he might want to talk about and leave it at that

that is the perfect way to ease into it.

[Bluebyrd]

Just ask him if there's anything he wants to talk to you about.

[SethfromMI]

that is the perfect way to ease into it.

that also prevents from possibly embarrassing him. honestly, I learned everything I needed to know from school, friends, and internet/common sense haha

[Guycurious]

Just be clear ' i noticed you are starting puberty. I want to help you out on knowing what it is i do nit want you to pass from the same situations i did. I am here for you.'

[fandom_king]

Start by talking about normal things and say what you noticed about him with the puberty situation. Tell him some things about what he might not understand sexually and tell him that if he has any questions about it, he can ask you with no judgment

[Crona]

id just tell him that if he has any questions, he can ask you.

[jacobe]

So part of my original plan was to use this conversation as a way to improve our relationship and get closer. The majority of people are saying to not really talk to him about it unless he asks, but I don't think this would have as big of an impact on our relationship as having a full conversation. So if I was going to actually talk to him about everything how would you guys approach the conversation? should I offer to show him things if he asks?

[Just JT]

I would bring up some convo that could lead into that topic like if Hermes any girls or something. But on the topic itself, I'd offer just enough info to satisfy any questions. If you offer to much info he doesn't ask for, he might find it overwhelming and shy away altogether, especially if your not all that close to begin with

[IHateShirts]

Just casually start asking him about girls he likes at school and relate it to you and start talking about sex and just be another guy for him to talk to, mention jacking off and anything else you want to

[KawaiiSamii]

Do what you think is best.

[Hermes]

I think if you genuinely want to help you have to be guided by him on how much we wants to talk but you'll probably need to start the conversation, at least the first time. I'd use the pubic hair thing as others have suggested, for example:

"I notice you're getting pubic hair which means you've started puberty. That can be a bit of an anxious time but I went through the same thing recently enough to remember so if you want me to talk you through what's ahead I can. If not now you, can always ask me questions later" etc.

[Hudor]

I agree with @SethfromMI (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=110550).
If you're doing this to make your bond stronger, then an elaborate conversation about puberty might actually put him off as it might be embarrassing for him. Also he might not even have begun to feel all the changes that you would explain.
Instead, you could just let him know you're there for him and open to talk about anything and leave it at that. If he wishes to talk or has any queries, he will broach the topic. You can't force a conversation either way.

[jacobe]

Thanks for all of the advice so far!!
I would also like to talk to him/show him about masturbation? Any ideas or suggestions on how to go about this?

[binerdy99]

I'd Def try to be as matter of fact as possible and only say what u need to. U don't wanna risk making it too interesting so that he loses respect for it

[Blake24]

I had the same issue with my little brother. The minute I started talking to him about girls and masturbation and everything, he got a boner. It was pretty noticeable in his sweatpants. I just told him to take care of himself. So he just started jacking off and I went back to playing Xbox.

[KevinK]

I had the same issue with my little brother. The minute I started talking to him about girls and masturbation and everything, he got a boner. It was pretty noticeable in his sweatpants. I just told him to take care of himself. So he just started jacking off and I went back to playing Xbox.

Do you mean he whipped his dick out in front of you and started jacking himself off there and then?