LDR: I really like her

[timswan123]

Hello :) My name is Baron, and I am a 16 year old guy from the south. Over the summer, I met this girl online from a friend of mine (she's 18 in 2 months). Originally, Her and I were just friends and would occasionally talk together in groups calls (only voice calls) with my other friends. I then started PMing her and we became closer. She eventually gave me her number in a call (she is a very private person when it comes to people online) with the friend that introduced me and I started texting her. I'm a very horrible texter lol, so the conversations were not that great. I did maintain small talk with her and I always ended the convos, but I would always text her first. After a little while, I added her on snapchat and we would occasionally use that to talk. After a while I gave up on the small talk and told her how I felt. She said that she felt the same way but had a "thing" with another guy "right now" (LDR). She then asked if I was saying goodbye "for now" and mentioned that if I visited Cali again we could "meet up" (she lives in Cali and I live in Florida). She also said that the guy was fine with me talking to her and that "nothing has to change". I read a lot of articles and forum threads on how I should react to this, and I reacted by pretty much saying I was leaving. She was very sad, said she would miss me, said she didn't want me to leave, blah blah. I then talked to her best guy friend, the guy that introduced me, and he said that she most likely didn't have a relationship with another guy and she was trying not to hurt my feelings. He told me that I should continue talking to her and being friends. So, after around 5 days, I texted her saying sorry I was being a douche and leaving her and that I was just sad that I couldn't be with her. She said that it was ok and she was happy that we could still talk. Thus, we continued snapchatting and texting everyday. Eventually, I asked her to watch a movie with me over a Skype voice call and she said yes (we haven't watched the movie yet). After a while, we stopped texting and only snapchatted (this was two weeks ago, we also hadn't skyped in around a month). We snapchatted every single day and said goodnight to each other every night. Around last week, I asked her if she wanted to talk on skype and she said yes. We had around a 3 hour call alone and also talked the next day for a few hours. On Friday of last week, we watched the movie (Interstellar, a 3 hour long movie) and stayed up talking for another couple of hours. I talked to her the next day as well for a little. At this point, I felt like she was leading me on and that she wanted a relationship. But, before I wanted to move on with it, I had to know for sure that she didn't have a "thing" with anyone else. So, I asked one of her other friends if she did, and they said yes. Confused, I texted her asking if this was true and she said yes. I told her the story about how my other friend told me that she was lying and that I thought she was leading me on. She said she was very sorry, that she would never lie to me, it's all her fault, and that she didn't mean to lead me on. I sent her a message saying I forgive you and a very immature other text about how that she's too good to let go. She just said k goodnight to that and the next day I knew I messed up. I sent her a long message apologizing about the night before, saying I'm going to stop talking to her so that she can have her "thing", and that I understand she doesn't like me. She sent me a long message saying that I'm not intruding on anything but respects that I don't want to talk to her as much. She also said that I hope she knows that she likes spending time with me. She said that she was going to keep me updated on her life and said "bye for now". Two days later, she snapchats me. I opened it and didn't respond. Next day she does it again, and I reply and we start talking. We've been talking the last few days and I just got out of a two hour skype call with her.

Now that the long story is over, I have some things I'm confused about and need help with. First off, I'm an overall shy guy. I'm not socially awkward or anything, I have lots of friends in school, guys and girls. Anyways, I'm always very shy when I speak with her on skype (we've talked a lot about each other, but never flirt), but we flirt when I snapchat her. I'm not that big of a conversationalist over texting either. I'm asking for help with this and what I can do to overcome being shy on skype and things I can talk to her about over texting.

Second, not sure what I should do about her "thing". I don't think they talk that much in general, and she has never told me once that we can't talk because the guy and her had plans. She also said yes to watch a movie with me even though she has the "thing" with the other guy. She is still talking to me even though I tried minimizing contact. Should I continue talking to her and use advice to try and get a relationship out of this or should I tell her to stop talking to me?

Thanks for reading this whole thing if you got through it :)

[marv3l]

I read the whooollle thing..and it seems like you're in a bit of a situation..I don't know if she has a "thing" with any other guy, but even if she does they haven't made it official yet I guess because otherwise her "best mate" would know about it right? It seems like she enjoys talking to you, and, trust me, a girl will most likely not keep talking to someone if they are boring (and vice-versa?), so I wouldn't worry about being shy in conversation. Maybe she is attracted to you being shy? If you're feeling shy or nervous just really try to talk about what you like. Your interests and things you're passionate about..I think that's attractive to just about anyone.

She makes you happy right? And you enjoy talking to her..so I would definitely not tell her to stop talking to you, you'd probably regret it. I'd let her sort out whatever "thing" she has going on, and in the meantime talk to her like you always have..it seems like she enjoys your company, so keep doing what you've been doing.

Always here to help..and I hope what i've said makes sense ahaha..I'm Rachel by the way:)

[Hudor]

I think she's basically using you as a standby in case her " thing" doesn't work out. I think she likes you to some extent but probably not enough to end her ongoing relationship. I think the options you've got are to either move on and forget about her or wait for her "thing" to end. Both will be painful probably but the latter alternative has more potential of being so.

[SillyShyGuy]

From experience, if there is ever another guy involved in the situation it is a trap. My first love was not seeing anyone when she told me how she felt about me. I was asking around about her weeks after we met because I wanted to get to know her. She gave me her full undivided attention and we started dating months later. If she mentions another guy then that means she either is not interested in you or wants you to show how much you like her. Be competitive. Show her why she should be with you. You are shy, as am I. Embrace it: tell her how pretty she is and ask her to hang out more. Do not let this opportunity pass you by, do not let that other guy take her from you.

[timswan123]

I read the whooollle thing..and it seems like you're in a bit of a situation..I don't know if she has a "thing" with any other guy, but even if she does they haven't made it official yet I guess because otherwise her "best mate" would know about it right? It seems like she enjoys talking to you, and, trust me, a girl will most likely not keep talking to someone if they are boring (and vice-versa?), so I wouldn't worry about being shy in conversation. Maybe she is attracted to you being shy? If you're feeling shy or nervous just really try to talk about what you like. Your interests and things you're passionate about..I think that's attractive to just about anyone.

She makes you happy right? And you enjoy talking to her..so I would definitely not tell her to stop talking to you, you'd probably regret it. I'd let her sort out whatever "thing" she has going on, and in the meantime talk to her like you always have..it seems like she enjoys your company, so keep doing what you've been doing.

Always here to help..and I hope what i've said makes sense ahaha..I'm Rachel by the way:)

I love talking to her, but I've already cut communication with her twice. Wouldn't going back to talking to her like I used to confuse her or make me seem desperate? How would I tell her that I would like to continue talking like we have been?

I also have had a lot of people tell me that I should move on because I am in the friend zone... Which I'm not 100% about cause she gives me mixed signals, but she said in her apology text that she didn't mean to lead me on...

[timswan123]

From experience, if there is ever another guy involved in the situation it is a trap. My first love was not seeing anyone when she told me how she felt about me. I was asking around about her weeks after we met because I wanted to get to know her. She gave me her full undivided attention and we started dating months later. If she mentions another guy then that means she either is not interested in you or wants you to show how much you like her. Be competitive. Show her why she should be with you. You are shy, as am I. Embrace it: tell her how pretty she is and ask her to hang out more. Do not let this opportunity pass you by, do not let that other guy take her from you.

Along with my other post, I already said I cut communication twice, and I think coming back a second time would be needy/desperate. I really like her and I am willing to fight for her.

[marv3l]

There's a difference between coming back to her - talking to her like you're her best mate -and being clingy. Don't be clingy; guys who are clingy will probably end up having her push you away, unless she likes messages every other 2 seconds..but I'd say she won't. Play hard to get, even if it's just with telling her you're busy doing a hobby if she wants to talk..I don't know, just try to make her want you. Try to let her become interested even more in you.

If she makes you happy, don't give up on her just yet, no matter what people say. Although, I wouldn't get your hopes too high that you'll think you'll be in a relationship with her, she has a "thing" with a guy (which probably won't work out) - don't worry about it:)