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View Full Version : Stuck between two help meeee


jjm44
September 30th, 2015, 01:11 AM
This is long so thank you in advance if you do read this. I dated a guy for two years in high school. Lets call him Mark. We weren't what you would call the "perfect" couple, but we really were in love. We could talk about everything, see each other all the time and most importantly we were healthy and happy. Towards the end of our relationship I started to find interest in someone else.

We'll call this one Tom. At first it was nothing. He was in one of my classes second semester and we'd flirt but nothing would come out of it, of course because I was committed to Mark. I began to drift away from Mark and wasn't really positive I wanted to carry this relationship with me to college. I ended up breaking up with Mark and went for Tom way too fast. It was great for the first two months, it was laid back and I felt free. I had so much confidence. Not only with my choice to be single but, finally my University choice as well.

Not long after two months, I started to slowly regret my decision. I thought about Mark all the time and I wanted him back in my life. After a few months of being apart, having no communication- he came over. We kissed and he told me he would think about getting back together. A day later, he told me that I hurt him too bad and he just couldn't do it. I was completely heart broken. I told Tom what had happened and he was really upset. I gave him time but he ended up wanting to be close to me again. So I started to hangout with Tom again to fill the void of not being with Mark.

The summer came to an end and right before I went off to begin my freshman year of college I spoke with Mark. I apologized for how badly I had hurt him in the past and he called me the next day asking to see me. I felt nothing, but now that I'm here and he's three hours away we've been snap chatting and texting. He wants me to come see him. I asked him why and what would be the point and he said we'll talk about that when you get here. We've been briefly talking about old times and he said something like "what'd I do to have just one more day." My friend here also wants to visit with me because she has a friend at the University where Mark goes too. Tom is my boyfriend now and I really can't hurt him again but Mark was my first love. Also, Tom and I go to the same school where as Mark is 3 hours away. I get that it's only my freshman year of college but I feel like if I don't see what could have been then I'll live the rest of my life questioning it. What should I do? Thank you.

Vermilion
September 30th, 2015, 01:32 AM
That's a hard choice. Without being a dick someone will get hurt. Your kinda living in the past And need to move on.

Sandybeaches
September 30th, 2015, 11:38 AM
I don't think you need to worry about "What could have been"...because it clearly isn't happening anyway, there is no point regretting something that you haven't already done otherwise you'll live your whole life with regret.
I think you need to move on, remember the good bits about your first relationship but you have a boyfriend now so be happy with him instead.

Kirina
September 30th, 2015, 01:19 PM
Please just leave Mark alone, stop toying with his heart and let him get over you.

SillyShyGuy
October 3rd, 2015, 05:26 AM
The first year of college is stressful. I was going through a similar situation. I had to choose between a girl I liked at my university while I still had feelings for a girl back home. I visited the one back home and we ended up just being friends because we knew it would not work out if we dated.

It hurts to lose someone you love, but if you walked away from your first love it is your own fault. Just stick with the second guy.

ClaraWho
October 3rd, 2015, 07:38 AM
Sounds like you don't love either and just love the idea of having a boyfriend. Leave Mark alone as all you are going to do is hurt him more. Break up with Tom too, he deserves better than to be an unloved 'convenience'.

It sounds like when it comes to Relationsips you don't actually know what you want. So now you are going to be single again, think hard about what you want in a NEW guy that would satisfy you long-term. You have experience now to draw on, but with these two guys it is over. You've done too much damage.

Try to focus on your studies and friends for the first year, join clubs and keep busy.

~ Clara