Pushed Out Please Help

[Louie221]

Hi, I'm Mason. I'm er... What you'd call an outsider. I keep to myself and let my emotions get the best of me. Lately, I've been thinking about how I used to have so many friends in gradeschool. Now, its been 5 weeks of being a freshman in highschool and I've lost all but 2. I lost everybody, from my old best friends to my crush. I used to be somewhat well known, and now even the people who know me pretend they don't.

So I've got my two friends, and when I'm not with them I'm a total wreck. I dunno what to do and I feel very antisocial. I'm very good on school, but my grades have been struggling a bit lately.

I know it sounds stupid but I could really use some help. Having only two friends left in a new and big place has really flipped me around. If anybody could offer some advice I'd be very thankful. It's especially hard being a guy with this problem. There have been a few people who just decided "hey your my friend" and I don't like them. One is depressed, the other is quite vulgar, and some are just a bit too weird for me (and I'm weird myself).

I used to be in a group consisting of my two current buddies, my crush, and a few others. As soon as (let's call him Bob) Bob comes in, he takes my place and I've been totally pushed from the group. It's very overwhelming.

If any advice could be given, it would be greatly appreciated!

[Abhorrence]

Well, in your situation it is best to take what you're given. If people want to be your friend then why are you turning them away? I understand sometimes we just cannot click with people but give them a chance at least. If they're willing to help you out and speak to you then don't be a dick about it. You don't like someone because they're depressed? Try and help them out then.
Other than friends, just focus on school. Study hard, get through it and get into the real world. School isn't a place where you need to socialise, it's there for work to get done.

[lliam]

About 2 years ago we moved to another village and that means a new place, new school, (hopefully) new friends - but new strange people.

I now have about 5 mates from my new village (no classmates) I call'em good friends. And 2 of'em became very close friends. With the peps from my school I even hang out a lot outside of school, but these are just friends. No close friends.


So, you have 2 friends, and probably they are the ones who haven't forgotten you at all. So what's the fuss about the lost of the others?

Nothing's stopping you from seeking other, new friends. You just have to begin to talk to the people, of whom you think, they could also be good friends.

Not the amount of friends counts, but how well do you get along with those you got and what you can do with them so far.



But if someone wants to really have a lot of friends ... living on facebook is a good choice.

[Interstellar]

In my experience, it's better to just have a few close friends rather than a large group in which case you're more susceptible to being "left out" or "at the bottom of the totem pole". You just have to find the people that are right for you.
and some are just a bit too weird for me
Also from experience, "weird" people can make the best friends sometimes. My freshman year there was this kid that I thought was "weird" who would sit with me every day at lunch and I hated it at first, but as it turns out, today he's my best friend...so you just have to give people a chance :)

[Just JT]

I agree with the previous posters. I moved to where I live this past May. I knew nobody, school was rough as the new kid, end of the year, summer was pretty lonley to. So I get the feeling of loneliness your probably feeling, cause I was pretty well known and had a lot of friends where I used to live.

But "friends" is a word used way to loos there days, you got 2, who are by your side, that's good, more than I got...
Your always guna find something in someone you either like or no, you probably forgot some of those things in your "friends" who pushed you away, so as you meet new people, those things you don't like may seem more obvious, so id put that aside, and get to know your new "friends" better before you "push" them away

[Louie221]

Thank you all.

I just wanna say that by weird, I meant a little too out there for me. Hell, I'm really weird, but these people are very clingy and try to pry into things that they shouldn't really. Not that they're bad people, its just they are not people I want to associate with.

And it's not the depression in her that makes me nor like her. I helped her get through a few things and now she thinks I'm a god and never stops talking and texting.

So I'm not turning them away, its just that I'd rather not be too close to them. I've already gotten picked on s million times for it. And no, that's not even half of why I don't like them.

As for having my two friends, I just don't think you understand 100%. Not to be offensive at all, but thank you anyway.

[Just JT]

Thank you all.

I just wanna say that by weird, I meant a little too out there for me. Hell, I'm really weird, but these people are very clingy and try to pry into things that they shouldn't really. Not that they're bad people, its just they are not people I want to associate with.

And it's not the depression in her that makes me nor like her. I helped her get through a few things and now she thinks I'm a god and never stops talking and texting.

So I'm not turning them away, its just that I'd rather not be too close to them. I've already gotten picked on s million times for it. And no, that's not even half of why I don't like them.

As for having my two friends, I just don't think you understand 100%. Not to be offensive at all, but thank you anyway.

Well, if you think we don't understand, you could try and explain it to us so we do, could lead to better advice, as opposed to just dying we don't understand, thanks, and walking away (pushing away?)

[Louie221]

Okokok lemme restart. I've been trying to make things short because I'm using my phone. You can only type for so long until your thumb hurts, know what I mean?

Ok, so last year, in 8th grade, I began to realize that a lot of my friendships were fading. Which is ok, it happens to everyone. But it got really hard as I went to summer school for high school.

I was nervous, seeing as I wouldn't know anybody. After a few days, a girl started talking to me and I thought she was ok. After a while, she got very annoying and clingy and eventually told me about her deppresion. I found out when she was about to hurt herself, and I soon calmed her down and she is currently seeking help. It's been hard because she comes to me for every one of her decisions. It's like I'm leading my life as well as hers.

Then I met another person who I see every now and then. She's a little vulgar, but she's alright. She just likes very very dark themes. I try not to hang with her TOO much, because that's not really in my morals, death and all that.

After school actually started, I have two REAL friends who I see sometimes outside of school. We've been friends since 5th grade.

I used to be in their group of people: smart and slightly nerdy. Ever since this year, they sort of pushed me away from that. I've been a loner for the most part. One of them doesn't even include me in many activities outside if school. The other is pretty cool about that.

I'm not outgoing at all, so its hard for me to try and meet new people. I know you all would just say "oh for gods sake just TALK", but its not that easy.

On top of all if this, my dad hurt himself at work and we're going through court issues. Stress is building up between school, friends, and my family's financial state.

I apologize about earlier, i just was in a hurry and tried to throw things together. If anything needs to be clarified, do let me know.

And I'm not a bad person. I noticed somebody telling me not to be " a dick about it". I'm not, I think I'm a decent guy. I'm smart, I like to think I'm loyal and generous. I can't say for sure its true, that's more for others to say, but I like to think it all the same.

[Just JT]

Well, regarding your "old" friends, if it's really bothering you, and you want to keep that friendship, I'd try to talk to them, one by one, and asked what's up?
But if you ok with not keeping them, then move on...sound like they never really were friends to begin with anyways

Your "new" friends, I'd say good job with helping her with her issues, self harm is a big issue. I'd try to reinforce her ability to do stuff on her own, like when she comes to yiu with a simple thing you could say like "oh you can make that decision, you don't need me for that" in a playful way, and work from there

I'm sorry about your dad and all that, it sucks to be in that spot, and im sure things will work out some how in the end. But I'd be there for your dad, sounds pretty serious, so just being there and keeping company can mean a lot. There's not much you canreally do about that, so I'd try to focus on your stuff

[Louie221]

Yeah, alright. I guess I sorta needed to rant s bit, too. Thanks!

[Just JT]

No prom mason, anytime, that's why we're here