Missing the guy I broke up with

[sunnyme]

Hey !

So last year, I went out with a guy in my class for 9 months. I finally broke up because I felt that his feelings were too intense compared to mine... However, he has never done anything to hurt me or my feelings, he always really sweet, like the perfect boyfriend. I just think that he was just a bit too much around : he was in my class, then we saw each other for an hour or two and when I got home, we texted.

I broke up just at the beginning of the summer holidays but I'm not sure that he gets why I did.
He is now in my class this year, and my mind is literally going mad. He completely ignores me and we had one explanation which was kind of like a fight ( the day after, he sent me a text saying sorry about it).

Should I act on the fact that I miss him like crazy or do you think I only have those thoughts because I miss having a boyfriend and as I see him everyday he became the dream boyfriend in my head ?

Plus, I'm so scared to hurt him ( again) by breaking up with him if I realize that it hasn't gotten any better.

THANK YOU for any input or advice !

P.S : I don't think I was in love with him during relationship but I love him very much.

[SethfromMI]

this is a tough call. I can see why he would be mad at you to be perfectly honest. I am not sure if you love him or like you said you just miss having someone there. only you know if you actually love him or not. if you don't, don't put him through anymore. if you are actually going to consider getting back together, then you really need to consider if you really love him and want to be with him. if not, like I said, move on to someone else

[Waleedbt]

So you broke up with a guy for a weird reason.. he was perfect for you but you pushed him away.
Im actually glad he is ignoring you, that means hes over you, im not trying to be mean but thats the truth, you didnt want to be with him anymore and obviously broke his heart.

You miss him ofcourse after you realise how your life was with him, but getting him again is not cool. He is not a toy that you pick up when you miss him and dump him when your done with him. (This is what someone personally told me and hit me like a brick! )

[SethfromMI]

So you broke up with a guy for a weird reason.. he was perfect for you but you pushed him away.
Im actually glad he is ignoring you, that means hes over you, im not trying to be mean but thats the truth, you didnt want to be with him anymore and obviously broke his heart.

You miss him ofcourse after you realise how your life was with him, but getting him again is not cool. He is not a toy that you pick up when you miss him and dump him when your done with him. (This is what someone personally told me and hit me like a brick! )

exactly. the more I think of it OP, it is time for you just to move on. he does not deserve to be a pawn in your game

[Uniquemind]

I'm actually going to defend the OP here.


It's completely possible to love someone, but feel smothered by them because they shower you with too much attention to the point where you lose a bit of your own identity and want private time or social time with others like friends.

I wouldn't count time spent in shared classes as "couple time" though.

[sunnyme]

Just to end the conversation : after numerous conversations between the two of us, we have now been veryyyyyyyy happily back together for a couple of months !

[Uniquemind]

Just to end the conversation : after numerous conversations between the two of us, we have now been veryyyyyyyy happily back together for a couple of months !

Next time though remember "breaking up" isn't the solution if you need personal space or distance because you feel smothered.

Every couple needs to figure out a healthy balance of together lovey dovey time, and a healthy individual time for themselves and with their other friendships and family.

That is a conversation every couple should be able to have without too much drama or going to a level of "breaking up" over.

[sunnyme]

Next time though remember "breaking up" isn't the solution if you need personal space or distance because you feel smothered.

Every couple needs to figure out a healthy balance of together lovey dovey time, and a healthy individual time for themselves and with their other friendships and family.

That is a conversation every couple should be able to have without too much drama or going to a level of "breaking up" over.

I know, you're right, that is the main thing we talked about and we communicate much better now ! It really is of main importance for a couple !
:wub: