Age Difference

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I was just wondering, what's your opinion on age difference in a relationship?

This may seem a bit weird, but I met this guy on a video game and he's 20 and I'm 16 and since we met (last week) we've been talking a shit ton and we've been flirting a lot and I'm 110% sure he's not a rapist, I can assure that much. I've added him on facebook and I've talked to his other friends on the video game and yeah, he's a p nice person.

Is that like, normal???

[Zachary G]

Well, for one I would be very careful, this is someone you met online and dont know much about.

But to answer your question: depending on what the age of consent is in your area, that would play a major role in the decision making process. I am sure that since he is over the age of 18 and you are under it, it could cause major troubles for him should anyone find out and not approve.

Personally, I dont see any problem as long as you are both consenting to the relationship, I mean its only like a 4 yr age difference, but again, I stress, be careful

[Typhlosion]

Sure it's normal, and I don't have any bad feelings against him being a good person. But I feel like such an age imbalance won't be as great with someone closer to your age, considering maturity, responsibilities, and expectancies.

[Babs]

I don't think 4 years is that big of an age difference, but that depends on your preference. In my state, the legal age of consent is 16 so that depends on yours as well.
However, there IS a pretty big difference in maturity and whatnot between ages 16 and 20 so that's something you need to be careful of.
I think it's possible for such a relationship to work but it's tricky. But as long as the two of you maintain healthy behavior there shouldn't be much of a problem.

[Uniquemind]

Hmmm he's 20, and how much of his day is spent video gaming?


I'm sorry but if he's gaming all day for a 20yo, he probably sounds equally mature to most high school guys.


Mature guys at 20 are or should be starting to get their income/careers or academic degrees in order.


I'd be very cautious, remain flirty friends, and over the course of 4 years hang out or date him seriously. Sex will have to remain out of the picture for 2 years until your legal.


I'm not against it, but I'd act with extreme caution and precaution measures in place with your most trusted friends.


Even if you want to have sex and it's mutual, you cannot give in. In this situation you will have to be robotic about your sex drive/life with this dude.


Also verify he's got life goals and is advancing on them consistently.

[Andre 99]

I would be careful, especially if you only met him online.
Be safe, if you meet do it in a public place, preferably with friends.
Depending on the age of consent laws, 4 years isnt too bad.

[Kirina]

If your sure his pictures are real, then you don't have to be any extra careful, just because his "from the internet". Cus if you know his face and you have talked a shit ton, then you probably know him better than the mother of some of your IRL friends.

You should be careful, but not necessarily more careful than you are with people you
"know" IRL.

What video game did you meet on?

[Rallo]

I would be very careful, even if he isn't a rapist I don't believe any 20 year old should be talking to and meeting up with 16 year olds, that seems slightly creepy.
On the other hand, when I look at it from your point of view (a 16 year old meeting a 20 year old) it doesn't seem as bad - it just seems like you're an innocent 16 year old wanting to make friends, nothing wrong with that.

I would be extremely careful though, even if he's not a rapist his intentions may not be the same as yours.

Overall, nothing wrong with talking to someone who's that age. You're 16, he's 20 - four years isn't much of a difference for someone your age when it's just an innocent friendship. if it leads towards more than just a friendship, that's when you would have to be extremely careful. For now if you continue meeting him outside of games, make sure it's a public place and with friends if possible. Avoid getting into a private one-on-one situation with him. Other than that, morally there's nothing wrong with you talking a 20 year old, even if it may be slightly morally wrong for him (a 20 year old) to talk to a 16 year old online.


What video game did you meet on?
Also interested in knowing what video game it was, there's certain online games which are known for having a lot of shady guys targeting innocent teens.

[AutumnWinds]

I was just wondering, what's your opinion on age difference in a relationship?

This may seem a bit weird, but I met this guy on a video game and he's 20 and I'm 16 and since we met (last week) we've been talking a shit ton and we've been flirting a lot and I'm 110% sure he's not a rapist, I can assure that much. I've added him on facebook and I've talked to his other friends on the video game and yeah, he's a p nice person.

Is that like, normal???

i think that there is a very large opportunity to be taken advantage of and/or deceived by someone who is older than you. there are just some things that you only learn with age and experience- think of how much we've learned since we were 11 or 12.

that being said, i think sometimes you just find the right person for you and they're older. i'm in a relationship right now where the age difference is more greated than the one you're suggesting, so i'm not saying it;s a bad thing. :)

[Anomaly]

Sounds pretty normal, just get to know him better before you give out any personal information..

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Hmmm he's 20, and how much of his day is spent video gaming?


I'm sorry but if he's gaming all day for a 20yo, he probably sounds equally mature to most high school guys.


Mature guys at 20 are or should be starting to get their income/careers or academic degrees in order.


I'd be very cautious, remain flirty friends, and over the course of 4 years hang out or date him seriously. Sex will have to remain out of the picture for 2 years until your legal.


I'm not against it, but I'd act with extreme caution and precaution measures in place with your most trusted friends.


Even if you want to have sex and it's mutual, you cannot give in. In this situation you will have to be robotic about your sex drive/life with this dude.


Also verify he's got life goals and is advancing on them consistently.

Well from what I know he's a landscaper, and I'm not one of those people which are just like "sex yay it's p casual" because I'm kinda done with that kinda crap. To be honest, I think I play more video games than him, lol.

If your sure his pictures are real, then you don't have to be any extra careful, just because his "from the internet". Cus if you know his face and you have talked a shit ton, then you probably know him better than the mother of some of your IRL friends.

You should be careful, but not necessarily more careful than you are with people you
"know" IRL.

What video game did you meet on?

I would be very careful, even if he isn't a rapist I don't believe any 20 year old should be talking to and meeting up with 16 year olds, that seems slightly creepy.
On the other hand, when I look at it from your point of view (a 16 year old meeting a 20 year old) it doesn't seem as bad - it just seems like you're an innocent 16 year old wanting to make friends, nothing wrong with that.

I would be extremely careful though, even if he's not a rapist his intentions may not be the same as yours.

Overall, nothing wrong with talking to someone who's that age. You're 16, he's 20 - four years isn't much of a difference for someone your age when it's just an innocent friendship. if it leads towards more than just a friendship, that's when you would have to be extremely careful. For now if you continue meeting him outside of games, make sure it's a public place and with friends if possible. Avoid getting into a private one-on-one situation with him. Other than that, morally there's nothing wrong with you talking a 20 year old, even if it may be slightly morally wrong for him (a 20 year old) to talk to a 16 year old online.



Also interested in knowing what video game it was, there's certain online games which are known for having a lot of shady guys targeting innocent teens.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Like, 90% of my mates I've met via the internet or gaming and the ones which live in my city, I've met up with (because my friend introduced me to them) and I feel like I know a lot of my internet friends way more than a lot of my irl friends.

Plus, if I was to meet up with him, it would have to be next year after the end of school (when I'm 17). Age of consent in Australia is 16, so its not really a concern to me either. I was planning to meet up with all my other internet friends on the east side of Australia then anyway.

Also, it's Dota 2. To be honest, the general census of people which play the game are guys, so me being there is like o.O

[Uniquemind]

Well from what I know he's a landscaper, and I'm not one of those people which are just like "sex yay it's p casual" because I'm kinda done with that kinda crap. To be honest, I think I play more video games than him, lol.





Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Like, 90% of my mates I've met via the internet or gaming and the ones which live in my city, I've met up with (because my friend introduced me to them) and I feel like I know a lot of my internet friends way more than a lot of my irl friends.

Plus, if I was to meet up with him, it would have to be next year after the end of school (when I'm 17). Age of consent in Australia is 16, so its not really a concern to me either. I was planning to meet up with all my other internet friends on the east side of Australia then anyway.

Also, it's Dota 2. To be honest, the general census of people which play the game are guys, so me being there is like o.O


Here's a mindbreaking question.

How do you know he's really 20 and not older?

I will only accept, that you've actually seen a USA State issued ID, as an answer to the above question, and you also have to KNOW how to spot a fake ID.


In any other situation, you have to assume you're being hoodwinked.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Here's a mindbreaking question.

How do you know he's really 20 and not older?

I will only accept, that you've actually seen a USA State issued ID, as an answer to the above question, and you also have to KNOW how to spot a fake ID.


In any other situation, you have to assume you're being hoodwinked.

Hmm...But what you're saying is that everyone on the internet is faking it because everyone is trying to deceive others. I mean, I wouldn't be putting my passport on VT to ensure my age to others, I'll just tell them I'm 16. To be honest I think your opinion is a little bit skewed. I understand, hey, this person (just talking about anyone on the internet) might be lying about their age, their job, their hobbies and interests, anything.

[Uniquemind]

Hmm...But what you're saying is that everyone on the internet is faking it because everyone is trying to deceive others. I mean, I wouldn't be putting my passport on VT to ensure my age to others, I'll just tell them I'm 16. To be honest I think your opinion is a little bit skewed. I understand, hey, this person (just talking about anyone on the internet) might be lying about their age, their job, their hobbies and interests, anything.

Skewed perhaps, but no less true or probable.

If I'm wrong all cautious action is in your favor.

If I'm right then you're in the losing position over the long term.


Also you notice on all those tragic Dateline and 20/20 shows about romances gone bad? It ways starts out sweet and turns sour slowly over time.



Since your shrugging me off I guess I'll stop posting here because I can tell you want to do what you want so I can respect that.


You've heard me out and I've tried.

[SillyShyGuy]

It is normal to meet someone online sure. I myself and not a fan anymore because I was cheated on by a girl who likes to fool around with everybody who takes interest with her.

Age difference should not be an issue. Young ladies date guys as old as their grandfather and some men date girls as old as their mother. If you share something special with the other person, then do not feel bad. But be aware you are still under 18, make good choices.

I myself think it is nasty when girls say they are willing to date someone over five years older than they are. But then again it is my opinion.