My sexuality

[jssixna]

i have dwelled on this for awhile and more so recently. Okay I'm a Junior in high school and this year a new freshman came. When I first saw him I was immediately put in like a trance. He is a Latino boy with short black hair and his face is near flawless. Ever since then I think I've been obsessing over him and he cannot leave my mind. Sometimes I would do anything just for him to know my existence (I know it's sad). However I am also attracted to girls, and I thought I liked this girl but now I don't know. I have had girlfriends in the past too. I feel like I am emotionally attracted to girls but I am romantically & physically attracted towards guys. At school I just tell everyone I'm straight, but i feel I'm not. I have begun to secretly label myself as bi curious now. Is this right? I feel like this guy is ruling my thoughts. I've never felt this way before. I just need to speak with him once then I can die happy. Help do you think I am gay?

[drhalsey1]

Well labels aren't the most important thing, and it sounds like you're closer to bi maybe, in my opinion anyways

[pjones]

i don't think you're gay. good looking boys and girls catch our eyes naturally. sounds like a bit of a crush you have on this boy, which is OK. introduce yourself and let him know if he needs any help or has any questions about school he can ask you. possibly you'll become friends and if not at least you had a chance to meet and talk to him.

[SethfromMI]

i have dwelled on this for awhile and more so recently. Okay I'm a Junior in high school and this year a new freshman came. When I first saw him I was immediately put in like a trance. He is a Latino boy with short black hair and his face is near flawless. Ever since then I think I've been obsessing over him and he cannot leave my mind. Sometimes I would do anything just for him to know my existence (I know it's sad). However I am also attracted to girls, and I thought I liked this girl but now I don't know. I have had girlfriends in the past too. I feel like I am emotionally attracted to girls but I am romantically & physically attracted towards guys. At school I just tell everyone I'm straight, but i feel I'm not. I have begun to secretly label myself as bi curious now. Is this right? I feel like this guy is ruling my thoughts. I've never felt this way before. I just need to speak with him once then I can die happy. Help do you think I am gay?

ok, if you are sexually attracted to girls you are not gay. if you are sexually attracted to guys and girls you are bi. right now I would say you are at least bi-curious. just give it time to explore your feelings man, you are ok either way. if you want to talk, I am always happy to try to help you on pm man. but yea, explore your feelings some more. and, try to find an excuse to talk to him, just to see what happens

[jssixna]

Thanks for the replies, it's helping a lot!

[Hudor]

If it's about just this one guy then I guess you don't go for labels just now. You're not gay if you feel attracted to girls but I pretty much identify with the way you describe your attraction to guys and girls and it sounds like bi to me. Feel free to message me any time if you want to talk about this :)

[Just JT]

What every you have feelings is ok, we're all still young and figuring stuff out, I wouldn't get all hung up on labels just yet, but I'd certainly get to know him, never know what it leads to. Yiu might end up being really good friends, and learn something about yourself in the meantime

[Cloud_Strife]

i have dwelled on this for awhile and more so recently. Okay I'm a Junior in high school and this year a new freshman came. When I first saw him I was immediately put in like a trance. He is a Latino boy with short black hair and his face is near flawless. Ever since then I think I've been obsessing over him and he cannot leave my mind. Sometimes I would do anything just for him to know my existence (I know it's sad). However I am also attracted to girls, and I thought I liked this girl but now I don't know. I have had girlfriends in the past too. I feel like I am emotionally attracted to girls but I am romantically & physically attracted towards guys. At school I just tell everyone I'm straight, but i feel I'm not. I have begun to secretly label myself as bi curious now. Is this right? I feel like this guy is ruling my thoughts. I've never felt this way before. I just need to speak with him once then I can die happy. Help do you think I am gay?

Hi mate,

I'd say that your feelings are perfectly fine. As painful as it is, puberty is meant to be a period of many changes; and along with this are a lot of exciting, confusing and (often) terrifying times too!

It's not unusual to be uncertain about where you stand with sexual preferences and we can probably blame hormones for that! If you are unsure about your sexual preference, it is perfectly normal. I'd not rush into needing to attach a label onto yourself. You will feel more sure and steady regarding this part of your identity with time.

At the end of the day, this is only one aspect of you, and the important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. When you asked if this is right or not, I don't think anybody can tell you with certainty at this point. People often have 'crushes', whether of the same or opposite gender. Perhaps this is the case with you here? It is not uncommon to idolize others in regards to qualities they possess, such as being physically fit, intelligent, humorous, etc. and it sounds like you've found some things in this Latino boy which you have found attractive in this regard. So about wanting him to acknowledge you is not silly at all, I'd say it is pretty understandable.

If you read about the topic of sexuality, then there is a scale in regards to one's sexual preferences, called the 'Kinsey Scale'. Basically it outlines the spectrum of sexual preferences as being totally straight, totally gay and being somewhere in between. (Basically the concept of multiple shades of grey, being flanked by the extremes of black and white.)

By and large, majority of the people are somewhere between the extremes, rather than being exclusively 100% straight or gay. So if someone is in general 80% attracted to those of the opposite gender and 20% attracted to the same gender, they might still identify themselves as being 'straight', although they are occasionally attracted to someone of the same sex and not exclusively to the opposite sex. Those who are 60-40 or 30-70 might then consider themselves bisexual, for instance.

If you are unsure, that is perfectly normal mate, and absolutely acceptable. You could very well be straight and just be having the occasional 'man-crush', you could be bisexual, or potentially transitioning into being gay as you establish your identity. As I said before, I don't think anyone can give you a certain answer at this point and I suspect that you will find out for yourself soon enough in the next couple of years or so. However, the important thing is that YOU are comfortable with YOURSELF. Sexuality is only one facet of what makes you who you are. It is no different to you being part German or Serbian, for instance! ;)

If there's any advice I would suggest, it would be to give it some time, and don't feel the obligation to answer to anyone else in regards to your identity. Just go with the flow, everything has a way of working out well in the end.

Hope that helps mate! Take care!

[Zachary G]

i don't think you're gay. good looking boys and girls catch our eyes naturally. sounds like a bit of a crush you have on this boy, which is OK. introduce yourself and let him know if he needs any help or has any questions about school he can ask you. possibly you'll become friends and if not at least you had a chance to meet and talk to him.

Right on point. I agree.

[lkc413]

Yeah, you're definitely not gay, but it sounds like you are bi or bi-curious.

[hesaidhesaid]

Hi mate,

I'd say that your feelings are perfectly fine. As painful as it is, puberty is meant to be a period of many changes; and along with this are a lot of exciting, confusing and (often) terrifying times too!

It's not unusual to be uncertain about where you stand with sexual preferences and we can probably blame hormones for that! If you are unsure about your sexual preference, it is perfectly normal. I'd not rush into needing to attach a label onto yourself. You will feel more sure and steady regarding this part of your identity with time.

At the end of the day, this is only one aspect of you, and the important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. When you asked if this is right or not, I don't think anybody can tell you with certainty at this point. People often have 'crushes', whether of the same or opposite gender. Perhaps this is the case with you here? It is not uncommon to idolize others in regards to qualities they possess, such as being physically fit, intelligent, humorous, etc. and it sounds like you've found some things in this Latino boy which you have found attractive in this regard. So about wanting him to acknowledge you is not silly at all, I'd say it is pretty understandable.

If you read about the topic of sexuality, then there is a scale in regards to one's sexual preferences, called the 'Kinsey Scale'. Basically it outlines the spectrum of sexual preferences as being totally straight, totally gay and being somewhere in between. (Basically the concept of multiple shades of grey, being flanked by the extremes of black and white.)

By and large, majority of the people are somewhere between the extremes, rather than being exclusively 100% straight or gay. So if someone is in general 80% attracted to those of the opposite gender and 20% attracted to the same gender, they might still identify themselves as being 'straight', although they are occasionally attracted to someone of the same sex and not exclusively to the opposite sex. Those who are 60-40 or 30-70 might then consider themselves bisexual, for instance.

If you are unsure, that is perfectly normal mate, and absolutely acceptable. You could very well be straight and just be having the occasional 'man-crush', you could be bisexual, or potentially transitioning into being gay as you establish your identity. As I said before, I don't think anyone can give you a certain answer at this point and I suspect that you will find out for yourself soon enough in the next couple of years or so. However, the important thing is that YOU are comfortable with YOURSELF. Sexuality is only one facet of what makes you who you are. It is no different to you being part German or Serbian, for instance! ;)

If there's any advice I would suggest, it would be to give it some time, and don't feel the obligation to answer to anyone else in regards to your identity. Just go with the flow, everything has a way of working out well in the end.

Hope that helps mate! Take care!

What he said. Haha.
Just go with what sits with your mind right here right now. If this guy makes you happy, go for it.

[DoodleSnap]

Hi mate,

I'd say that your feelings are perfectly fine. As painful as it is, puberty is meant to be a period of many changes; and along with this are a lot of exciting, confusing and (often) terrifying times too!

It's not unusual to be uncertain about where you stand with sexual preferences and we can probably blame hormones for that! If you are unsure about your sexual preference, it is perfectly normal. I'd not rush into needing to attach a label onto yourself. You will feel more sure and steady regarding this part of your identity with time.

At the end of the day, this is only one aspect of you, and the important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. When you asked if this is right or not, I don't think anybody can tell you with certainty at this point. People often have 'crushes', whether of the same or opposite gender. Perhaps this is the case with you here? It is not uncommon to idolize others in regards to qualities they possess, such as being physically fit, intelligent, humorous, etc. and it sounds like you've found some things in this Latino boy which you have found attractive in this regard. So about wanting him to acknowledge you is not silly at all, I'd say it is pretty understandable.

If you read about the topic of sexuality, then there is a scale in regards to one's sexual preferences, called the 'Kinsey Scale'. Basically it outlines the spectrum of sexual preferences as being totally straight, totally gay and being somewhere in between. (Basically the concept of multiple shades of grey, being flanked by the extremes of black and white.)

By and large, majority of the people are somewhere between the extremes, rather than being exclusively 100% straight or gay. So if someone is in general 80% attracted to those of the opposite gender and 20% attracted to the same gender, they might still identify themselves as being 'straight', although they are occasionally attracted to someone of the same sex and not exclusively to the opposite sex. Those who are 60-40 or 30-70 might then consider themselves bisexual, for instance.

If you are unsure, that is perfectly normal mate, and absolutely acceptable. You could very well be straight and just be having the occasional 'man-crush', you could be bisexual, or potentially transitioning into being gay as you establish your identity. As I said before, I don't think anyone can give you a certain answer at this point and I suspect that you will find out for yourself soon enough in the next couple of years or so. However, the important thing is that YOU are comfortable with YOURSELF. Sexuality is only one facet of what makes you who you are. It is no different to you being part German or Serbian, for instance! ;)

If there's any advice I would suggest, it would be to give it some time, and don't feel the obligation to answer to anyone else in regards to your identity. Just go with the flow, everything has a way of working out well in the end.

Hope that helps mate! Take care!
This is truly fantastic advice.

Labeling yourself should never be stressful, but unfortunately, for many teens, it is. In all honesty, I think that the label isn't what matters, but it is how you feel that really makes the difference. I subscribe to people just enjoying who they are, accepting that they will change, and being comfortable with whoever they end up being attracted to, regardless of their gender, or how that fits in with one's label.

But if you are absolutely desperate to label yourself right now, then you could do much worse than bisexual. You like both masculine and feminine traits, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, that's just my $0.02. Good luck.

[Cadanance00]

That happens. It doesn't mean you're gay.

[Just a Guy]

sounds like bi to me

[NotQuiteANerd97]

It's normal to find people of the same sex attractive. But if you want to do more than just admire him, then you're probably bisexual. For me it was a gradual process going from simple admiration to full on attraction.