Ex- Girlfriend stuck in my head!!

[Jcml27]

I'm finding it so difficult to get over my ex girlfriend and I don't know why. I'm only 15 and I broke up with a girl which whom was my first girlfriend. I had never met her before and we met online. The only thing I knew about her was that in my eyes she was beautiful. At first she was shy and timid but as time went on she grew into the girl I knew she was hiding at first but as she became herself my family said I was becoming depressed and were blaming her for it, saying she was causing me too much stress and I'll admit she was. She would always talk about other guys even though all I did was give her all my attention and even sacrificed playing for the national soccer champions so I could spend more time with her but she would always complain about how much time I spent at soccer and guilt trip me by saying she had talked to other guys whilst I was out. But I just apologised and got on with it until all the unnecessary guilt tripping built up and I just couldn't handle it. So I broke up with her. I wanted to stay friends but she didn't and to make me jealous started talking to a guy she knew I loathed and I heard about her offering to perform a certain act with her mouth on him. But even after 6 months since the break up and all the things she said and did I still care about her and have feelings for her. What should I do????:confused:

[Arantor]

That sounds like a very unfortunate scenario :(

I don't think there is a way to flat out drop her from your mind - time may well be the only way to forget about her. And truthfully, maybe she will always be in your head in some way. You can, however, distract yourself in the meantime.

When you start to thinking about her, try to think about everything she wasn't to you instead of what she was. Remember that she didn't always treat you well and keep in mind that when you gave her your everything, she didn't return hers. And keep busy, hangout with friends, play soccer so you can join that team, do whatever to keep your mind of her.

All in all the best way to move on is to do everything you can to get her out of your head. Keep busy, don't talk to her, and eventually you will move on.

[Babs]

Lot be honest with you, she sounds like a bitch. You deserve someone who's going to treat you right. I would try to move on if I were you.

[Uniquemind]

She got no understanding of how to contribute to a healthy relationship.

She's a taker, and with her approach to dating she'll either be the abuser or the abused.


Consider yourself lucky to be rid of her, she sounds difficult and selfish.

A good partner is someone who gives and takes and understands the part of life that does not include them is important too and to support that in most cases. (Exceptions being if said hobby of their significant other puts them in harms way or by ripple-effect interferes with their personal life outside of their partner, then in these cases the couple have some things to discuss as each has grounds for a larger compromise discussion).

[Jcml27]

Thanks for the help. I'm still not really sure as to how I'm going to distract myself but at least I know what I have to do.

[Uniquemind]

Thanks for the help. I'm still not really sure as to how I'm going to distract myself but at least I know what I have to do.

Well knowing what to do is a good first step.

I'd take a break from relationships, put a mental checkmark that a personality trait in girls you look for, is a non-clingy controlling personality as a prerequisite to being with them, and advance on with new partners.


Your first step is to not let this girl you mention get under your skin, let her know she has no power to leverage your emotions via however she decides to life her life. That's not your concern for anybody, not her, nor anybody in the future (except where legally obligated: but that's talking legal speak regarding spouses and children and you don't have to worry about that yet).

[Jcml27]

Well knowing what to do is a good first step.

I'd take a break from relationships, put a mental checkmark that a personality trait in girls you look for, is a non-clingy controlling personality as a prerequisite to being with them, and advance on with new partners.


Your first step is to not let this girl you mention get under your skin, let her know she has no power to leverage your emotions via however she decides to life her life. That's not your concern for anybody, not her, nor anybody in the future (except where legally obligated: but that's talking legal speak regarding spouses and children and you don't have to worry about that yet).

Thanks for your insight. It really helps. I was having a hard time understanding what to do but this has cleared it up. Thanks.

[SillyShyGuy]

Try not to think about it. Every time I go on a date I think about the girls I have dated in the past. It hurts, but do not give them the power to drag you down. If she is going to act immature and throw herself at guys like that, then you do not need that in your life.

Look for a girl just like you. Someone special. If you are not ready to date someone else, then find a way to take your mind off of your ex because it will make you depressed.

[hesaidhesaid]

I'm finding it so difficult to get over my ex girlfriend and I don't know why. I'm only 15 and I broke up with a girl which whom was my first girlfriend. I had never met her before and we met online. The only thing I knew about her was that in my eyes she was beautiful. At first she was shy and timid but as time went on she grew into the girl I knew she was hiding at first but as she became herself my family said I was becoming depressed and were blaming her for it, saying she was causing me too much stress and I'll admit she was. She would always talk about other guys even though all I did was give her all my attention and even sacrificed playing for the national soccer champions so I could spend more time with her but she would always complain about how much time I spent at soccer and guilt trip me by saying she had talked to other guys whilst I was out. But I just apologised and got on with it until all the unnecessary guilt tripping built up and I just couldn't handle it. So I broke up with her. I wanted to stay friends but she didn't and to make me jealous started talking to a guy she knew I loathed and I heard about her offering to perform a certain act with her mouth on him. But even after 6 months since the break up and all the things she said and did I still care about her and have feelings for her. What should I do????:confused:

This sounds really sad. And it also sounds like you just fell for the wrong girl with the wrong personality (or at least the wrong reaction to things).

Let it all pass and grieve. Talk to friends about other things. It feels terrible at first but trust me, it gets better.

All the best :)