Genders, YAY!!!!!

[ChromeCrow]

So now that I've taken my magical journeys into the sexual and romantic spectrums (and discovered I am Asexual and Aromantic), it's now time for genders. I'd Like some input. So I started thinking of genders when I saw the term Non-binary (Someone who does not conform to a gender). So I have always been a tomboyish person. I want to wear male clothing, have short hair, and just be "one of the guys". But I do identify female and am fine with being female. I use the she/her pronouns, however, I don't care if people use any pronouns for me. It doesn't get under my skin like some think it will. One way to put the "one of the boys" thing into perspective, is I'm interested in learning bass and being in a band, even if it's just a small underground not too well known band. With my favorite band I'm always saying I'm checking what the boys are up to (given they are guys), but if I were to ever be in a band, I wouldn't want people to say "oh I'm seeing what the boys and girl are up to". No, I just want it to be the boys. So long story short, I'm female, but I don't dress girly, I plan to cut my hair short, I use the female pronouns, but don't get offended when others are used, and while I like my groups of female friends, I also like being "one of the guys". Thoughts? would you say I'm non-binary? Gender neutral? just a tomboy? I love hearing you're guys' thought and opinions. You have really helped me understand my sexuality better.

[Desuetude]

I'm all for exploring parts of yourself that you're not sure about, there are always alternatives that might fit better, as you've found out regarding your sexuality. However it seems as though you're going into exploring your gender with the idea that you need to analyse everything you do/are to ensure that you're definitely not cisgender and that's not the right way to go about it.

Gender is how you feel, it's not what you wear or your interests. You say you feel female, so you are female - if you are trans* you tend to have dysphoria meaning that you find extreme discomfort with parts of your body/your socialisation that relate specifially to your designated sex. Being in a band doesn't make you any less female, nor does dressing in a neutral/masculine way. Being 'one of the boys' or a 'tomboy' is completely unrelated to gender. If you were non-binary then you wouldn't feel solely female. You used the phrase 'conform to either gender' and I think that's where you've confused yourself. The definition of non-binary is when you don't feel male or female, there are many non-binary genders. Gender identity isn't about conforming to your gender, that's gender roles. So I would say that you are a cisgender female, as you identify as female and feel female (the not caring about pronouns I think is just a *shrug* kind of thing, it's just an add on that doesn't really seem to matter when you think about everything else that you feel) but that you don't like gender roles and want to break them down. That's what this looks like to me, you're not the stereotypical 'pink and flowers' girl and you don't have to be, just be yourself and be comfortable with your female identity, no matter how 'boyish' it is.

[ptz7649]

It is actually really scary how what you have said is EXACTLY the way I would identify myself! Phew, I'm not alone! ... I can't wait for some other replies though cuz I have trouble knowing what to say about myself and I feel like it would be some comfort to know that there's a proper term for it.