Long Distance Relationship

[ObliviousCat]

So...how do you all feel about long distance relationships? Have you ever been in one or do you refrain from those because you don't consider it a true relationship?
For 15 years, I've never even considered being in a long distance relationship. I was always assuming that they would never work and I told myself I would never commit to someone in another state.
Yet here I am, sitting here patiently waiting for my boyfriend to wake up at 2pm my time while he's in Australia and I'm in the U.S.
Our 2 month anniversary is quickly approaching in 4 days. I truly never expected to be in an LDR and I certainly never expected for it to work.

[SkyClad33605]

I've never seen it work for long. Everyone I know who's been in one has either been cheated on or cheated themselves.
I've never been interested in them because I like to be able to be in physical contact with the other person.
I have long distance friends, but I'd never call what I have with them dating.
That said, I wish you the best of luck.

[ObliviousCat]

I've never seen it work for long. Everyone I know who's been in one has either been cheated on or cheated themselves.
I've never been interested in them because I like to be able to be in physical contact with the other person.
I have long distance friends, but I'd never call what I have with them dating.
That said, I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah, physical contact is usually a pretty huge thing in a relationship as well as trust. If you don't have it (trust), it won't work. At least I know he's willing/going to wait for me, I guess.
& thank you :)

[StoppingTom]

Not a fan of them for kind of obvious reasons, but if it works for you, power to you.

[Babs]

I think it's definitely possible for them to work. I'd be wary to enter one though. I'd probably be willing to try an LDR if the person was in another state, but I wouldn't even bother if they were in another country.
That's just me though. If you can do it, more power to you.

[ObliviousCat]

I think it's definitely possible for them to work. I'd be wary to enter one though. I'd probably be willing to try an LDR if the person was in another state, but I wouldn't even bother if they were in another country.
That's just me though. If you can do it, more power to you.

I try to lol. 2 1/2 years is a long time to wait, though .-.

Why wouldn't you bother if they were in another country?

[Babs]

Why wouldn't you bother if they were in another country?

It's just too far for me. It'd be a lot more difficult to see them than, say, in another state. I dunno, it's just too much for me. Physical contact is pretty important to me.

[ObliviousCat]

It's just too far for me. It'd be a lot more difficult to see them than, say, in another state. I dunno, it's just too much for me. Physical contact is pretty important to me.

Yeah, I can understand that ~

[Zachary G]

Idk how I really feel about them. I guess I could see it working out if the two of you were physically together at one point and then one of you went away, but to be in one with someone you have never been in physical proximity to -- idk, it seems kinda far fetched and dreamy to me. But I wish those the best of luck that are in them.

[Karkat]

LDRs are haaaaaaaarrrrrrd

I've been in 2 serious ones. I guess you could say I sort of still am in the one? Idk, he doesn't want to call it a relationship.

Anyways, I was engaged to the first guy. I was 14, almost 15 when we met, he was 17, almost 18. We got engaged when I was 16. It lasted until I was almost 17. We'd seen each other in person a few times, but it was hard because my parents are... Really overbearing. They didn't know.

It ended because being engaged was a shit ton of pressure, and I was a dumb kid who freaked out basically.

The guy I'm sort of with now, Charlie, my parents know about, but not the nature of our relationship. We've been somewhat romantically involved for roughly a year. I got to see him in person for the first time in over a year like two weeks ago, and it was amazing. I spent like half a week with him, and it's one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time.

It's possible for them to last long periods of time, or even to work out, just really hard.

[ObliviousCat]

LDRs are haaaaaaaarrrrrrd

I've been in 2 serious ones. I guess you could say I sort of still am in the one? Idk, he doesn't want to call it a relationship.

Anyways, I was engaged to the first guy. I was 14, almost 15 when we met, he was 17, almost 18. We got engaged when I was 16. It lasted until I was almost 17. We'd seen each other in person a few times, but it was hard because my parents are... Really overbearing. They didn't know.

It ended because being engaged was a shit ton of pressure, and I was a dumb kid who freaked out basically.

The guy I'm sort of with now, Charlie, my parents know about, but not the nature of our relationship. We've been somewhat romantically involved for roughly a year. I got to see him in person for the first time in over a year like two weeks ago, and it was amazing. I spent like half a week with him, and it's one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time.

It's possible for them to last long periods of time, or even to work out, just really hard.

Your parents are okay with you talking to him? How'd you get to see him?
I know my mom wouldn't be okay finding out who I talk to over the internet and because of that I won't be able to see my boyfriend until I turn 18. :/

[Karkat]

Your parents are okay with you talking to him? How'd you get to see him?
I know my mom wouldn't be okay finding out who I talk to over the internet and because of that I won't be able to see my boyfriend until I turn 18. :/

He's sort of a family friend

Plus, well, not much my family can do about it at my age anyways.

[Tifany]

Ok, well if you've already made it this far, it sounds like you've been doing something right! Anyway, these are my general tips for LDR (4 years LDR with my bf and still going strong!!)

1. Communicate: make sure you're not relying too much on impersonal modes of communication, like texting and messenger. Webcam is the best mode of communication as it helps you communicate in personal levels.

2. Know each other's expectations: This could really be seen as a sub-section of communication. Talk about what each one of you expects out of the long distance relationship. Is it important to you to talk every night? Do you get exhausted by constant text messaging during the day? Do you need to hear "I miss you" in every conversation or does it depress you? If you discuss these things up front, you will have a good base.

3. Schedule: If possible, try to map out a rough schedule of visits (if these are possible). Knowing when the next time you're going to see each other makes the whole thing a lot less stressful.

4. Be romantic: One of the best things about long distance relationships is that when you're not together, every little thing you hear/see from your partner seems more special. So go with it. Send each other love letters, trinkets that reminded you of the other person. Sending some amazing long distance relationship gifts (http://olwomen.com/7-ideas-for-long-distance-relationship-gifts-for-him/) makes your bond stronger.
It can be a lot of fun coming up with ways to keep surprising each other and letting the other person know you're thinking of them.

5. Keep social: One thing that can ruin a lot of long distance relationships is the pressure some people put on the relationship because they don't have a lot of other things going on their lives where they live. Make sure you have a good circle of friends to hang out with. You should definitely prioritize your relationship, but don't spend the whole weekend chatting with him. Go out with your friends, make new friends. You can always talk to your him later.

[SillyShyGuy]

If you are willing to be patient and loyal to him, then by all means stay with him. Not many people are like you because they do not like waiting. If you have strong feelings for him then distance should not matter.

I have had a long distance relationship with my ex when I moved away for college. We tried to make it work. But since I was so busy she thought I was with other girls. It can be frustrating if you are not patient.

[lkc413]

Well, I was in a long distance relationship once for over a year. In the end, the distance was too much. How far were we? 1 hour. Also, my last relationship ended almost solely to avoid it as we would be 9 hours away when we went to college. That being said, I couldn't imagine how bad it would be to be on the other side of the world.

LDRs depend on three key things.

The first and most important one is how long were you together before? If it was long enough for you to be pretty serious, then more than likely, your LDR will work.

The second most important thing is how long will the LDR last? Ultimately, the point of remaining in a relationship when one person relocates is because there is hope you will see each other again someday. If you are aimlessly entering it not knowing how long it would last, there probably isn't much hope. However, if you know you can be back with each other on date X, then you can really strengthen your relationship if you are both loyal.

The third is how often during the LDR will you see each other? If you plan on never seeing each other, then depending on how long the relationship is, it probably won't work. But if you can see each other weekly or monthly or bi-monthly and so on, you have a lot better chance of staying together.

Look at these factors and determine whether or not you believe your relationship will stand the test. If not, then talk to him about how you feel because you may be currently missing out on the love of your life. Plus, it is a lot less stress if you don't have to handle it. However, if you think you'll make it, then go for it because that is about the best way you can strengthen your relationship if you both stay loyal.

Best wishes!

[ObliviousCat]

If you are willing to be patient and loyal to him, then by all means stay with him. Not many people are like you because they do not like waiting. If you have strong feelings for him then distance should not matter.

I have had a long distance relationship with my ex when I moved away for college. We tried to make it work. But since I was so busy she thought I was with other girls. It can be frustrating if you are not patient.

I'm definitely loyal and committed to him and willing to wait. Distance has never really been much of a problem for us since we pretty much talk all day and come up with different things to do together.

Also, I'm sorry about your ex.. :/

[AutumnWinds]

i think they're VERY difficult and VERY painful to be in, and VERY unlikely to work.

that being said, if you think you found "the one" it might be worth those odds, you know? when it's right, it's right.

wishing you the best of luck. if you need to talk to anyone or anything just give me a yell :)

So...how do you all feel about long distance relationships? Have you ever been in one or do you refrain from those because you don't consider it a true relationship?
For 15 years, I've never even considered being in a long distance relationship. I was always assuming that they would never work and I told myself I would never commit to someone in another state.
Yet here I am, sitting here patiently waiting for my boyfriend to wake up at 2pm my time while he's in Australia and I'm in the U.S.
Our 2 month anniversary is quickly approaching in 4 days. I truly never expected to be in an LDR and I certainly never expected for it to work.

[Luminous]

I've been in three LDRs. None worked out. The first one was my very first relationship and I was 14. I was going through a lot of emotional problems and it kind of fell on me. Eventually she just stopped talking to me, and ignored my messages even when I tried to break up with her. The second was a long time later and lasted probably 6 months on and off. He was a really great guy and was very kind to me, but neither of us could handle being tied down to long distance once we finally made it "official" and got in a huge fight about it and now we don't talk. Some other more private stuff went on as well, but that's the main idea. The last one was my last relationship and she is an absolutely phenomenal person. We dated for three weeks only but became completely smitten with each other in that time. After what happened with my last one before that I knew I couldn't handle it again so I had to break up with her, but we're still great friends. I think it honestly depends on the people involved. Some people are okay without physically seeing/touching the other. I can only do that for 2-3 weeks before breaking up with the person, which is the nice part of my current boyfriend living an hour away. It's a good balance for me, where I can have my own space for a week or so and we see each other every weekend-ish. So, my point is, it depends on what is right for you and what you can handle. If it's the right person, you'll figure it out. Be confident in yourself.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I knew Melissa and Shane and they were so cute together and that was long distance.

I was sort of with this girl for 2 weeks but she lived two ours away and we still couldn't make it work.

Also be careful if you have never actually met the person before in real life.

[hesaidhesaid]

Not a big fan of them. Seeing them work is one in a million.

[SethfromMI]

Long distance relationships are very hard. some do a great job at it. me personally, I would not want to have to do it

[Croconaw]

My girl and I have been in one for three months. We plan on living together in the summer.

[Karamelka]

Someone I know has been in one for just over a year and they're constantly texting. Going strong so far :P

[Gwen]

I haven't seen one work out for any long periods of time but I fully believe they can work if the two people have a strong enough bond. The dedication is beautiful in it's own way as well.

[Melodic]

I was in a LDR when I was 15. I dated the guy previously without distance so we both thought we could make it work with distance. It was pretty hard. I kinda wanted the physical contact and after a while he sort of vanished so we ended up breaking up. All I can say is it's pretty hard for LDR at our age because they require a lot of effort. But I still don't believe they are impossible.

[Nightfall_]

I am scared of the idea of a long distance relationship. Not because I'd be away from my gf but because of the things that could happen. I could meet someone better or vice versa. we could loose feeling for each other. Its just a freaky thought