Is the best option to accept things will never change?

[dreamofdante]

I'll be 20 years old come the end of the year and I've been a member of this site for nearly two years. If anyone remembers me, they'll know I've struggled for a while. In my absence here I've come up with ways to cope and try to keep strong and keep my chin up. I try not to be a downer with people and keep my problems to myself. I took a vacation and had somewhat of an epiphany while there and I think I want to be alone for the rest of my life. Dating and relationships don't really appeal to me. I feel like I couldn't be good enough for someone or strong enough to be there for support. I have many sexual desires and wish it were an option but nobody finds me attractive so most likely I will not lose my virginity either. Basically my question to you all is is there something wrong with me for thinking the only way to survive is to accept things will never change for me? I think the negativity pushed towards me has really made me cold and love feels like an impossibility to me. Just recently the idea of a relationship and love would be very appealing to me but I don't know if I even like it now. And am I a bad person for only feeling sexual desires? Thanks everyone. I hope you guys don't mind commenting.

[drunkbanana17]

It is highly unlikely for you to never find someone that finds you attractive and loves you . Of course , you have to accept that by doing nothing you won't meet that one person . So basically start chatting and find people of the opposite gender with similar interests and start hanging out with them. Eventually you will develop a romantic relationship with someone .

[dreamofdante]

It is highly unlikely for you to never find someone that finds you attractive and loves you . Of course , you have to accept that by doing nothing you won't meet that one person . So basically start chatting and find people of the opposite gender with similar interests and start hanging out with them. Eventually you will develop a romantic relationship with someone .

Well first off I want to thank you for replying. I really appreciate it because I wasn't sure if anyone would bite. I don't really have a problem with talking to girls and that sort of thing but they generally aren't attracted to me. The term I get is big brother or "BFF". And they also don't find me very attractive. This has been pretty much every girl I've met for the past six and a half years. What do you think?

[drunkbanana17]

I have a girl friend ( notice the gap ) which I know has the same interests as me and for that reason I don't mind asking her questions like : " If someone told you he faps to you what we would you reply " etc . Questions that I would never ask a girl . So if a girl views you as a BFF or big brother like you said ask her why she thinks other girls don't find you attractive

[dreamofdante]

I have a girl friend ( notice the gap ) which I know has the same interests as me and for that reason I don't mind asking her questions like : " If someone told you he faps to you what we would you reply " etc . Questions that I would never ask a girl . So if a girl views you as a BFF or big brother like you said ask her why she thinks other girls don't find you attractive

It usually boils down to my looks or sometimes but not much they don't have that specific set of feelings for me. I'm kind of shy too. Especially around girls I'm attracted to.

[drunkbanana17]

Well for your looks , again I strongly recommend asking your girl friends ( notice the gap ) what could you do to be more attractive . Online research helps too .Also you're shy like I am which is perfectly fine . There are shy girls too out there so if you find one maybe you will be more unnerved and chat more

[dreamofdante]

Well for your looks , again I strongly recommend asking your girl friends ( notice the gap ) what could you do to be more attractive . Online research helps too .Also you're shy like I am which is perfectly fine . There are shy girls too out there so if you find one maybe you will be more unnerved and chat more

I can go down a list of what's wrong with me and I perfectly understand why it's not their bag. I just wish I could be different so I would be good enough. I almost feel like a monster in a way. Like I can't feel love. I feel detached and my strings were cut too many times, you know?

[drunkbanana17]

Problems like your looks or your personality ? If you had bad traits like poor anger management or too greedy etc you should work to eliminate them . Now this " I can't feel love " is a phase I've been through because the love I receive from my family is minimum . However you should know that your life won't end because of whatever made you feel like this way and again I'll say that you should focus on socializing and making it clear with girls that you are attracted to them from the first time you meet them by doing stuff like being cocky , giving hints and taking the lead to ask them out for a movie or something like that

[dreamofdante]

Problems like your looks or your personality ? If you had bad traits like poor anger management or too greedy etc you should work to eliminate them . Now this " I can't feel love " is a phase I've been through because the love I receive from my family is minimum . However you should know that your life won't end because of whatever made you feel like this way and again I'll say that you should focus on socializing and making it clear with girls that you are attracted to them from the first time you meet them by doing stuff like being cocky , giving hints and taking the lead to ask them out for a movie or something like that

I think I'm bone ugly to be blunt. I can send you a picture in private message for reference but I really hate the feeling of embarrassment in front of my peers. If I were to try and ask her out and be rejected due to my looks or something, it would hurt me severely. It reminds me of the dark place I was in. And I also have sexual proclivities that can't seem to go away...

[drunkbanana17]

It is of no reason to send me a pic but since the problem I on the looks you should do your best to cover stuff like acne ( visit a doctor to get a cream prescription). I'm not an expert on improving someone's looks since I'm too average . Now for the sexual proclivities , I think they will go away as soon as you get in a relationship . If not then I guess they are fetishes which is a normal thing to have .

[dreamofdante]

It is of no reason to send me a pic but since the problem I on the looks you should do your best to cover stuff like acne ( visit a doctor to get a cream prescription). I'm not an expert on improving someone's looks since I'm too average . Now for the sexual proclivities , I think they will go away as soon as you get in a relationship . If not then I guess they are fetishes which is a normal thing to have .

I do have to tell you I've been called ugly by hundreds of women and at the very least they said I'm somewhat average. I know that's probably a turnoff and even if I compensated with an eccentric personality I still can't see myself working. I guess I'm the bottom belt of a beta male. And as far as the sexual proclivities, I've had issues since I was young and the more pent I am (I'm a virgin still obviously), the more it is building pressure up inside. Sort of feels like when you put a balloon over an air tank.

[drunkbanana17]

I can sympathize with the proclivities part since I'm a virgin too but I'm no expert in the fashion part like I said .. Maybe you should seek help at the fashion subforum

[dreamofdante]

I can sympathize with the proclivities part since I'm a virgin too but I'm no expert in the fashion part like I said .. Maybe you should seek help at the fashion subforum

I'm really not sure what I should do but thank you.