should i even bother?

[DamWayne]

hey,

so i have a crush over a girl at my school, she is often seen reading mangas by herself, wearing some kind of humorous and pop culture related hoodies, type of stuff i am into a lot, and she have a few friends sharing her interests.

But yeah, i am a short very fat red hair guy, you see the picture. I would still be ugly even skinny with brown hair and no pimples... How can i even think of talking to this girl, she is as well as the rest very pretty, she is tall, she is slim, i guess most guys wouldnt find her attractive because she have a small and not reallt "curvy" frame but she is still popular and th guys my class make some dirty comments about her sometimes...

i mean everybody here knows its dead on arrival, no girl in their right mind would approach an ugly ginger freak like me, when they can have much better (its easy to find)
and im a virgin, and i would be a very bad lover anyway... what can i do... should i try to talk to her and be rejected and humiliated (and even, becoming her friend so she can frankly tell me she thinks im ugly, why bother...) or should i just stay away and forget about her and about every other female in existence...?

[thegreatgatz]

Just try, there's no harm in trying after all.

[Uniquemind]

Work on thinking positively about yourself, then ask.

Don't be afraid of rejection, take it as a learning experience.

[SethfromMI]

confidence is part of the battle. you got to be more confidence about yourself man. you got to go into it thinking you do have a chance.

go for it man, start by getting to know her and then go from there

[DamWayne]

confidence wont do good if i look like a monkey's butt... thanks for the answers, but we should be realistic here, why would she even look at me lol... even if we manage to be 'friends' because she is so open and nice, she can find tons of atlethic 'toned' hot guys. I wont be able to be romantically close to her at all... The pretty girl and the fat ugly guy you see this only in the simpsons and family guy...

[Thatcooldude]

Hold on just a second there pal, thats your problem right there, your assuming she's that type of girl in the first place, if shes one of those picky stuck up pretty girls that are after 6 packs and blondes, she's not worth it in the first place. But if she's as kind and generous as you say, she would look past any imperfections you may have, and most of the time, those imperfections are only things YOU think matters to her. Like everyone else says, give it a shot

[Daniella98]

You must make a habit of giving up. You havent even approached her yet. Come on you can do it. Man up. The confidence and courage it takes is a very attractive quality.

[DamWayne]

You must make a habit of giving up. You havent even approached her yet. Come on you can do it. Man up. The confidence and courage it takes is a very attractive quality.
thnks again, but you would see my face, you wouldnt think any kind of confidence of courage would be enough to mask that...
"picky stuck up girl that want 6 packs and blonde" but every teens are like that, guys and girls, they just want to go out with the hottest one possible, and the ugly ones like me are left alone in the corner and bound to be virgins up until they're 50...
And im a guy means i have to be "confident" i cant be shy, guys are not allowed to be shy of course... If you're a shy girl you can wait for a guy to ask you out but if you're a shy guy eithe you have to "change" or just go die in a corner alone...
shy+hot= no girlfriend
confident+ugly= no girlfriend
shy+ugly= no girlfriend
confident+hot= maybe possible girlfriend

[Daniella98]

thnks again, but you would see my face, you wouldnt think any kind of confidence of courage would be enough to mask that...
"picky stuck up girl that want 6 packs and blonde" but every teens are like that, guys and girls, they just want to go out with the hottest one possible, and the ugly ones like me are left alone in the corner and bound to be virgins up until they're 50...
And im a guy means i have to be "confident" i cant be shy, guys are not allowed to be shy of course... If you're a shy girl you can wait for a guy to ask you out but if you're a shy guy eithe you have to "change" or just go die in a corner alone...
shy+hot= no girlfriend
confident+ugly= no girlfriend
shy+ugly= no girlfriend
confident+hot= maybe possible girlfriend
I have no chance of seeing your face. I confess it might be easier for girls to get "offers".
But most important is how you treat your self. Its like you constantly hit yourself on the head with a hammer. STOP IT. How the .... does that help anyone?
It might be easier to get the confidence if no one is putting you down right? Unfortunately it sounds like you are your own worst enemy regarding this.

[DamWayne]

tried to approach her today, she got a big old look of disgust when he saw me arrive, didnt even tried to talk to her.
Girls get offers? Yeah, the guy ask, the girl choose. Girls have it so easy in that regards... just pick the hottest of the bunch of guys wanting to date you thats gonna work...
i would love to be the only one to hit myself in the head with a hammer but my whole class (dare i say school) hates me because im so fat and ugly. This is not a myth that ugly and fat people are bullied and shamed... and i guess i deserves it because its my fault if im so fat, and i should go outside and run and eat salad, thats so simple...
even though i still would be ulgy, still would be hairy with red hair and a small ugly dick...
i hate myself because everyone else hates me, and you all would see me you would hate me as well.

[bruzer]

Just give it a shot it is better than staying there you might be lucky

[AutumnWinds]

hey,

so i have a crush over a girl at my school, she is often seen reading mangas by herself, wearing some kind of humorous and pop culture related hoodies, type of stuff i am into a lot, and she have a few friends sharing her interests.

But yeah, i am a short very fat red hair guy, you see the picture. I would still be ugly even skinny with brown hair and no pimples... How can i even think of talking to this girl, she is as well as the rest very pretty, she is tall, she is slim, i guess most guys wouldnt find her attractive because she have a small and not reallt "curvy" frame but she is still popular and th guys my class make some dirty comments about her sometimes...

i mean everybody here knows its dead on arrival, no girl in their right mind would approach an ugly ginger freak like me, when they can have much better (its easy to find)
and im a virgin, and i would be a very bad lover anyway... what can i do... should i try to talk to her and be rejected and humiliated (and even, becoming her friend so she can frankly tell me she thinks im ugly, why bother...) or should i just stay away and forget about her and about every other female in existence...?

i think it's better to regret the things you've done than the things you wish you had done...

also, i think you might want to talk to a professional about the way you see yourself. i mean this with 100% respect and from a place of pure love, but that attitude about yourself is going to make things harder than any lack of physical attractiveness, both in terms of getting a date and in terms of just living with yourself. you don't deserve to feel that way, and i just hope you will take the steps you need to make sure you no longer do. :wub:

[AutumnWinds]

please talk to someone about this, hunnii. you're worrying me with how you feel about yourself, and i think it's making your life and especially the way you perceive things much worse for you. i'm sorry if my saying this is upsetting you. that is 100% not my intent, i just don't like seeing someone so unhappy when they don't have to be.

tried to approach her today, she got a big old look of disgust when he saw me arrive, didnt even tried to talk to her.
Girls get offers? Yeah, the guy ask, the girl choose. Girls have it so easy in that regards... just pick the hottest of the bunch of guys wanting to date you thats gonna work...
i would love to be the only one to hit myself in the head with a hammer but my whole class (dare i say school) hates me because im so fat and ugly. This is not a myth that ugly and fat people are bullied and shamed... and i guess i deserves it because its my fault if im so fat, and i should go outside and run and eat salad, thats so simple...
even though i still would be ulgy, still would be hairy with red hair and a small ugly dick...
i hate myself because everyone else hates me, and you all would see me you would hate me as well.

[Abhorrence]

Every single person in the world has positive qualities. Dwelling on your supposed negative qualities is not a good idea because sometimes the negative things you see about yourself can be seen as positive by others. However, nobody really wants to be around people who are depressing and self-loathing. I realise that it is hard to get out of the dark place where you constantly mope around hating yourself but even if you fake it until you make it with your confidence, it could help a lot. Find your positive qualities that you like about yourself and work with them, emphasise them and slowly start liking yourself. It'd be a long battle but it is do-able. Many people have gone from loathe to love with themselves in the past and that means that you can do it too.