Best friend to nothing

[Celtics]

So we used to be neighbors, and then became best friends (atleast to me) and he knew the most about me, out of anyone. I trusted him, he trusted me. When he moved, and high school came we started talking less and less. Last year we barely ever talked, because of being "busy". So he graduated, I'm a senior and we haven't talked since july, I always have to text first, he just can't say I don't want to be friends anymore, he knows I have feelings for him, will I did. He knows all of my secrets, and I can't trust him, I don't know what to do. All I think about at night is why did this happen, what did I do? Is time to blame, or me, what did I do to deserve this? Everyone says I'm one of the nicest people, but bad things always happen. Every time I get close to someone, something bad happens. I just want that friend I had, that was there and could trust, no matter what.

[audiophile5]

I'm living the exact same thing, except for the fact that I was the one to graduate. He's always too busy for me, not in the mood, I have to text him first and hope that maybe he replies. I also have feelings for him but it doesn't seem to matter.

I also spend my nights trying to find a reason but there is none, that's just the way life is. There's no ultimate reason or logic behind it, and everything is, as Camus says, absurd.

I just have to try to occupy my mind somehow. It sucks and I wish I could stop feeling,but I can't.