What to do

[soandso151]

I'm head over heals for this girl and she has very low self esteem and gets really depressed. I want to ask her out but I don't want something bad to happen during the relationship and have her get super depressed. It would be good for her self esteem if I did ask her out but it would be bad if we ended up breaking up. (Which I hope would NEVER happen) What should I do?!

[Tyson S]

Just ask her out man. You won't know how it goes until you do

[Arantor]

If you see my thread here, you wlll see I have some experience being with someone who suffers from mental illness: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=228072

My advice to you would be to think about if your able to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from this, because it's not easy. You just need to be aware of what your getting in to. It sounds terrible, but being in a relationship with someone who suffers from this kind of thing isn't for everyone. In fact, the girl I talk about in that thread had an ex boyfriend leave her as soon as he learned of her illness. She of course thinks he's a terrible person, but realistically it was probably better that he did it if he wasn't prepared to deal with it.

Being with a person who suffers from depression, you have to know her actions and feelings wont always make sense to you. They probably make even less sense to her. There are times when you feel like your being pushed away for no reason, but you have to be able to realize this is a result of what they suffer from. That's where I made my mistake - instead of realizing this and trying to be supportive and accommodating, I took it too personally and lashed out about it.

If you think you can handle it, ask her out because what do you have to lose? Just know what you're getting into, for her sake.

[soandso151]

I think I can sustain a relationship with the depression and try to help her with it. School starts up in a couple days and I think I'll buy her lunch. Thanks for your input!

[ObliviousCat]

I think I can sustain a relationship with the depression and try to help her with it. School starts up in a couple days and I think I'll buy her lunch. Thanks for your input!

Buying her lunch is a great idea :D Good luck~

[PinkFloyd]

You should ask her out and treat her right. I'm in a very longtime relationship with a girl who has issues with depression and trusting people. I treat her like a princess like she deserves and we couldn't be happier.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Well, even if the relationship doesn't work out (which I sure as hope it doesn't) you should never in any way feel in a position that it is your fault that she feels a certain way (unless you directly do that to her). If you ever did break up and it was your decision, don't feel bad.

Anyhow, the only way to go through is just take a chance. If you like her, ask her, don't just feel like you shouldn't ask her because of what could happen, because that way you're never going to ask anyone out. I wish you luck all the way :)