Gay suicides

[James Dean]

Honestly, keeping it 100% and real, I can understand why some LGBT youth commit suicide. But this story really pissed me off and it really hit home.

This boy was just a coward I'm sorry. My mother would beat the black off me if I came out to her, and my dad would probably do worse, yet this boy had loving parents, and he was very spoiled, and still offed himself over some bullies.

If I were him, I would have beat the bullies asses. Speaking from experience, yeah I would have had a black eye, I might have been expelled, I might have ruined any chances I had at getting into college, but so be it. I stood up for myself.

Why didn't the mother call the police? Why didn't she give him counseling?

Opinions?

xJFUOEoC9wE

[DerBear]

Well I think you've been entirely harsh on this individual. Not everyone can deal with being bullied the same way or have the mentality to fight back against bullies. He seemed like the type of individual from what the video says to be the type of person who doesn't want to inflict pain on another individual.

Its also highly hypocritical of you to call him a coward when you won't come out to your parents because you're afraid of how they'd react. Its similar to how he couldn't stand up to the bullies because he didn't have that kind of mentality. Its also wrong to call him a coward because some people don't have violence in their nature.

The video doesn't go into details about the mothers efforts to stop the bullying but from the way the video is produced and what it aims to do I don't think it was ever intended to be mentioned she might have called the police, spoke to the school and done all these things but bullies always find their way to bully. Speaking from experience of being bullied, no matter what my school did, it would still happen.

In all honesty from the text and perceived tone of your post, it would seem you're frustrated over your own life and compare his story to yours. You see his story and think he had a family that supported him, accepted that he was gay and had a privileged upbringing. Whereas you know if you came out to your parents that they wouldn't support you. So you think he had it easy and decided to commit suicide over bullies. But bullying can have such an impact. People commit suicide over bullying a lot because they can't handle it.

[maggs]

That's rough. A young person suicides due to bullying and you just call him a coward :(
Bullying is a very serious issue many people have to deal with daily. I've had to dealt with it due to my bisexuality and I can tell it's a really bad experience. And "beating the bullies asses" is not the right way to solve this kind of situations.

[Dalcourt]

Your calling him coward is quite harsh.
Even if suicide is often seen a coward's way out, it takes a lot of courage to go through with it. The reasons people will do it are varied as people are...someone might laugh about an issue, the next one is seriously depressed by it. You simply can't judge people that way.

I mean I have never been afraid of bullying and outed myself to my family even though I didn't know if they'd react badly or not...I just don't want to hide. However I respect everyone who is afraid of outing and would never call them cowards.


It's just sad if someone sees no other way out, may the reason be bullying or whatever.

[fairmaiden]

I think it's pretty disgusting of you to call him a ''coward''. You have absolutely no idea how he felt at the time and how painful it must have been for him. Everyone handles situations differently.

Suicide is not something that people do if they feel like they can handle the situation. People typically commit suicide when they feel that there is nothing more that can be done/there's no way out.

So what if his parents are very loving and supportive? I was bullied and had very supportive parents but I still felt helpless/worthless.

We are all different, emotionally and physically; so for you to call this poor child a ''coward'' because he killed himself over this is very cruel and unnecessary.

Don't ever minimise someone's pain just because you would have handled the situation differently.

[phuckphace]

from personal experience, I've noticed that suicidal tendencies seem to be a lot higher among gay teens in general, even when the family is supportive or even when nobody knows and the person is content to remain closeted.

as a homo with an intense fear of death, I really don't understand it, and probably never will. sure, if my own family found out it would be devastating and it would probably require me to move somewhere far, far away, but I have simply never been able to fathom why someone would want to take their own life (except in cases of terminal illness or extreme physical/psychological abuse, that I can understand).

I don't think the above case is an example of cowardice, I think it's simply a manifestation of mental illness that many gay people have, along with a tendency toward hedonism (personally, I have a very addictive personality, but it's tempered by my fear of death). I can't count the number of times I've spoken with a gay guy who seems otherwise normal and well-adjusted, but suddenly starts talking about offing himself out of the fuckin' blue. this includes people who live in open, progressive, gay as fuck societies like Sweden and Denmark. I've made the mistake of trying to be armchair therapist/psychiatrist, but that never works and seems to always end in me throwing up my hands and blocking them. these people are generally very depressing to be around, it's like their misery is contagious or something.

[impan1019]

i agree with derbear

[Microcosm]

It probably wasn't because he was gay that he killed himself, at least not mainly.

Although him being gay probably triggered bullying so I guess it would be an indirect cause, but he could've experienced bullying anyway even if he wasn't gay.

It's really another bullying suicide, not a gay suicide.

The following is a rant

I think one of the main reasons he killed himself was because he began to subconsciously value himself as "gay." That was this great, valuable thing to him and he really just focused on that. Then, when people completely rejected him for that, he had nothing.

Point is: Don't just value yourself as a sexuality or anything trivial like that. Value yourself as an individual with the power to enact his or her will on the world in order to make the world a better place. It's sad to see a world that values being gay more than virtuous things. I'd much rather see legit, wisdomatic virtues promoted in society.

[phuckphace]

@Microcosm (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=105253)

I blame LGBT propaganda for that. as you said, the entirety of the person's existence begins to evolve around ~MY IDENTITY~, and is fueled by the cancer of individualism. everyone is an exact clone of the next guy but we've all convinced ourselves that we're special snowflakes who deserve a trophy just for existing.

a couple of centuries ago, gay teens just porked each other in secret and then went on with their lives. no idea why it can't still be that way.

[James Dean]

from personal experience, I've noticed that suicidal tendencies seem to be a lot higher among gay teens in general, even when the family is supportive or even when nobody knows and the person is content to remain closeted.

as a homo with an intense fear of death, I really don't understand it, and probably never will. sure, if my own family found out it would be devastating and it would probably require me to move somewhere far, far away, but I have simply never been able to fathom why someone would want to take their own life (except in cases of terminal illness or extreme physical/psychological abuse, that I can understand).

I don't think the above case is an example of cowardice, I think it's simply a manifestation of mental illness that many gay people have, along with a tendency toward hedonism (personally, I have a very addictive personality, but it's tempered by my fear of death). I can't count the number of times I've spoken with a gay guy who seems otherwise normal and well-adjusted, but suddenly starts talking about offing himself out of the fuckin' blue. this includes people who live in open, progressive, gay as fuck societies like Sweden and Denmark. I've made the mistake of trying to be armchair therapist/psychiatrist, but that never works and seems to always end in me throwing up my hands and blocking them. these people are generally very depressing to be around, it's like their misery is contagious or something.

Sorry he's a coward.

Born with a cleft pallet that was removed because of his rich family. Grown ass people with low income backgrounds still have cleft pallets on their face because they can't afford the surgery.

Still wants to complain.

Was born half breed/biracial. Already has tons of advantages of pluses. Light skinned. Attractive. Racially ambiguous.

Still wants to complain.

As seen in that video, was spoiled heavily. Computers, video games, trips, vacations, outings.

Still wants to complain.

Had accepting parents. Looked up to Glee as inspiration.

Still wants to complain.

Was bullied at school. Family didn't give him karate or self defense lessons. Didn't press charges for battery assault/attempted murder on her son.

Still wants to complain.

Had symptoms of signs of mental illness. Didn't get him help or attempted to.

Still wants to complain.

So he goes an kills himself. He has had so many advantages.

I was bitch slapped by my father for wearing shorts a blue tank top, a couple weeks ago, saying I looked like a faggot in them.

He always complains that I dress like a punk because I do. But I should be able to wear whatever the fuck I want. I can't because I have parents who don't understand I'm gay and I like to dress the way I want to.

I could never come out to these people and they assume I'm in a phase.

You don't understand. Smh. Never mind.

[Miserabilia]

I blame LGBT propaganda for that. as you said, the entirety of the person's existence begins to evolve around ~MY IDENTITY~, and is fueled by the cancer of individualism. everyone is an exact clone of the next guy but we've all convinced ourselves that we're special snowflakes who deserve a trophy just for existing.

a couple of centuries ago, gay teens just porked each other in secret and then went on with their lives. no idea why it can't still be that way.

I almost aggreed but not exactly on the in secret part; I don't see why they shouldn't be as open about it as heterosexual men, but I also don't like how LGBT goes even further than that.
I completely aggree about the identity part. It's the message in every new kid's movie!:

"You should treat everyone equal because we're all equal!"
"Oh and also, Everyone deserves special treatment because everyone's special!"

[Babs]

I think it's pretty damn stupid to dismiss one's suicide as cowardice. It's not black and white, it's a lot more complicated than "standing up to the bullies." Mental illness prevents some people from doing that.
Sure, some people having parents who are more loving than other people's parents. But that doesn't cure depression or suicidal thoughts or any other mental or emotional issues that might develop in a person.

[DriveAlive]

While the use of the word cowardice is probably a little too harsh, I definitely see where you are coming from and have to agree. I mean, being bullied sucks, especially if it is for being gay. On the other hand, it is life experiences like this that can shape someone into a better person. The kind of person that never gives up in the face of opposition. If any of you guys watched True Detective season 2, just think about the scene in the finale where Frank is dying in the desert but keeps walking as he remembers all of the people that bullied him throughout his life. It is this sort of trial by fire that forges strong men. Too bad he wasn't able to emerge from this.

[Microcosm]

I think it's pretty damn stupid to dismiss one's suicide as cowardice. It's not black and white, it's a lot more complicated than "standing up to the bullies." Mental illness prevents some people from doing that.
Sure, some people having parents who are more loving than other people's parents. But that doesn't cure depression or suicidal thoughts or any other mental or emotional issues that might develop in a person.

The kid was being pretty selfish though. Like the OP said above, he had many advantages to be thankful for, and he literally focused on none of them. Rather, he just decided to bitch and moan about people judging him?

There are people in this world who don't even have 1/8 of the things he has and that have the same capacity to kill themselves and they toughen up and live through it.

The kid was being selfish and cowardly when you actually look at how his life was; however, you could easily blame this on poor parenting and his parents spoiling him, not making him be thankful for what he has, etc. That's what made him ungrateful for the tons of other wonderful things he had.

Again, it pisses me off how we love to focus on how great it must be to be gay. People start valuing themselves as just gay and nothing more. I've made a post about this above already.

I'd also like to say I don't condone the bullying he received. I think that's a shitty thing, but I also think the kid was very much ungrateful.

[Babs]

The kid was being pretty selfish though. Like the OP said above, he had many advantages to be thankful for, and he literally focused on none of them. Rather, he just decided to bitch and moan about people judging him?

There are people in this world who don't even have 1/8 of the things he has and that have the same capacity to kill themselves and they toughen up and live through it.

The kid was being selfish and cowardly when you actually look at how his life was; however, you could easily blame this on poor parenting and his parents spoiling him, not making him be thankful for what he has, etc. That's what made him ungrateful for the tons of other wonderful things he had.

Again, it pisses me off how we love to focus on how great it must be to be gay. People start valuing themselves as just gay and nothing more. I've made a post about this above already.

I'd also like to say I don't condone the bullying he received. I think that's a shitty thing, but I also think the kid was very much ungrateful.

I agree with you. Yeah, he had it a lot better than other people. Maybe he was ungrateful. Yes, he bitched and moaned. BUT it's not as simple as just being more grateful. Somebody is dead, and I think it's shitty to pass it off as nothing but cowardice.