Being nicer to siblings?

[Mzor203]

Well, I just want to say, omg, it's alive!!! (This forum I personally suggested.)

But aside from the bragging, I actually need this forum because, though my family life is usually pretty good, there are some sketchy times.


My first post here is this:


Sometimes my siblings can be pretty unbearable to be around, and I end up being pretty mean to them sometimes. I want to keep from being mean and start being more nice, and maybe in turn they'll be less annoying. The problem is that I have this thing in my brain which says to me, "You're the best at everything and you can't let anyone get ahead of you." So I have a hard time letting anyone have a special thing they're good at. Stuff like that. I also have a problem feeling "Loving" towards them. It just feels weird.

So my question is this: Any way to remedy these problems, and are there any ways I could be nice to my siblings, little things I could do for them?

[Zephyr]

Deep down, and this is true for most people, you truly do love your siblings and you just don't know it until they're gone or have moved out. Try seeing the good in them ratrher than annoying. Of course it's hard to feel loving towards them when you have them annoying you on a daily basis, but if you try being patient and practice on getting along better and compromising with them, things will get better.

Me and my sister hated eachother's guts up until I was 16 and she was 18. Sometimes you can't learn to get along at all until you all mature and learn that it's better to get along than to fight.

This is just my opinion from my experience.
Hope this helps = )

[Gumleaf]

this is completely normal for everyone with siblings, and i agree with everything that steph has said above. i find my sister annoying and she finds me annoying but i love her always. its hard though sometimes. we'll yell at eachother and say "i hate you" to eachother but deep down we both love eachother. sometimes its hard to be nice to them and love them but thats only because you're in eachothers faces all the time. now my sister is 21 and she isn't home much now and i don't see her all the time, we get along much better. no better so then when my mum had a health scare around christmas and we were both there for eachother and nothing felt better then the hugs i had from my sister. hope that all makes sense?

[Mzor203]

Thank you both, rep+ to each of you (What little it's worth lol).

I know it should get better in time, but the problem is I want to show them I care now.Any ideas how to express this easily?

[Zephyr]

To show them that you care...

Do something nice for them once in a while
Help them out with problems
Ask if they're alright if they're feeling down
Just hang out or take them somewhere fun with you

Subtle things like that.

Most people appreciate the little things that people do for them.

[Gumleaf]

i would suggest being there for them when they need help with something. be there for them when they have problems. remember, actions speak louder then words, so if they see you being a good brother, then they will appreciate you more and hopefully that might make them better siblings too.

[Mzor203]

Thank you guys, it's very appreciated, I will be attempting some sort of actions as soon as I can.

[ScotsGirl]

I just wanted to let you know that the feelings you have are not abnormal at all. From what you have said and the way you have explained it, its sounds like 'sibling rivalry'.
If you look it up (google is your friend... :P) you might get some information about it which may help you.
Steph and Stephen have given some really good advice :-)

I hope things work out!

xxx

Sometimes you can't learn to get along at all until you all mature and learn that it's better to get along than to fight.
This is very true!

[Whisper]

Just remember
your siblings are going to be the ONLY people guaranteed to be there for you for the rest of your life
Friends come and go
Marriages hardly ever last
Parents....Die
They are who you will have

Me and Katie used to fight allot
we get along ALLOT better now
I think we just grew out of the squabbles really
It takes work otherwise you won't have a good relationship if one at all when your older

but its very important

[Mzor203]

Yeah, I know how important they will be later in life. I'm sure we will grow out of this in time.

[Triple7]

Good advice from the previous posters. I'm an only child. It has its advantages of getting all the attention and nearly 100% privacy, but it can get lonely. I've seen siblings fight (and I even know a brother and a sister that usually get along), but I sometimes wish I had a younger brother or sister to guide and help them avoid the same mistakes that I've made, or even an older sibling to look up to.

The closest I have to siblings now are my cousins, who are far away from me. I have some on the other side of the Earth and some closer ones around San Francisco and in Vancouver. The last time I've seen any of them was last summer when I went to California. Before last summer, the last time I saw them was 5 years before, and when I went last summer, I met one of my cousins for the first time.

So yeah, I hope things go well for you. :)

[iJack]

Good advice from the previous posters. I'm an only child. It has its advantages of getting all the attention and nearly 100% privacy, but it can get lonely. I've seen siblings fight (and I even know a brother and a sister that usually get along), but I sometimes wish I had a younger brother or sister to guide and help them avoid the same mistakes that I've made, or even an older sibling to look up to.

The closest I have to siblings now are my cousins, who are far away from me. I have some on the other side of the Earth and some closer ones around San Francisco and in Vancouver. The last time I've seen any of them was last summer when I went to California. Before last summer, the last time I saw them was 5 years before, and when I went last summer, I met one of my cousins for the first time.

So yeah, I hope things go well for you. :)

Same here,

[theOperaGhost]

I have an older sister. We used to not get along. I'm 18 and she's 24 and she lives in another town, so I don't see her very much, but I guess we get along.

I'd say to just be more patient with your siblings. I know if she would have been more patient with me, we would have got along better.

[Tyleisme]

A lot of us have siblings we don't get along with. I do get along with mine for the most part, but they are also all out of the house and I only see my sister maybe once or twice a week. My brothers, I hardly see them, we still talk a bit, but we don't live together. When we did live together we were always fighting. The only thing I can suggest is maybe try to isolate yourself from them when you find them being annoying. Some may see that as avoiding the situation, I see it as letting yourself calm down so you may be able to evaluate the situation better. Just take 10 or 15 minutes to be by yourself, maybe walk outside or aomething. Then go back in, and let them know you're not bothered by what they are doing. Maybe not verbally. but body language can let them know they aren't bothering you, And who knows they may just stop being so annoying.