My parents are too over protective and life sucks i hate my life! Help?

[CupcakeLuv101]

I feel like my parents are way too over protective of me and it sucks like hell. I'm already 15 and a half my parents never let me go anywhere without them. I'm not allowed to see my friends anywhere outside of school the only place I actually get to see them is at school. I have never been to a sleepover or to the movies I never get to go out anywhere. You guys are probably hanging out with a group of friends like going to the mall or movies or whatever all together. What do I do? I'm stuck at home with my mom just sitting around the house doing nothing. It sucks. Its boring as hell.

My parents also installed this parental controls thing on my computer which blocks a lot of sites even sites that aren't even supposed to be bad. They can also see every single site I go on, every letter I type and how long I've been on that site or doing what. I have absolutely no privacy at all. Right now, I'm secretly using my moms computer and deleting history after. They don't let me talk to people online even though I'm fricken 15 already and usually websites they say you have to be at least 13 to be able to have social media and meet people online. Well, I'm past that and they still won't allow me. You guys out there probably have Facebook, twitter, Instagram, etc. I'm not allowed to have any of those. I never even posted a picture of myself on the internet my entire life. I hate my life.

Does anyone else have a similar situation?

[Just JT]

No I don't, but it sounds like your parents are a little over protective, but I'd embrace it somewhat. After all, you could have the opposite issue, and have absolutly no limits placed on you.

I'd try to earn their trust somehow

[AutumnWinds]

i wonder if maybe you could talk to a guidance counselor or something at school and see if they would act as a liaison between you and your parents on this? they might take an adult's opinion more seriously. i hope at least.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I can understand where they're coming from, and they probably just really care for you. My parents can be very protective sometimes, but since it's a problem, all you can really do is talk to them. I know they might not let you hang out with mates and go on social networks, but if you start slowly, things will eventually lead up. I know people which are still not allowed facebook and I'm 16, so you know.

Anyhow, if you start off small and ask if you're allowed to have something like uhh...Skype or an IM (but you're actually not allowed Skype until you're 17 apparently, lol) and if you compromise with your parents and tell them "Hey, I wanna go out after school, and I'm willing to do this or that (whether it's like, grocery shop or the dishes)" maybe she'll let you. It's all about taking things slowly and eventually, they may warm up to you. If you force it on them and show them you can't be responsible, they won't allow you to.

I wish you all the best :)

[Daniella98]

i wonder if maybe you could talk to a guidance counselor or something at school and see if they would act as a liaison between you and your parents on this? they might take an adult's opinion more seriously. i hope at least.

I agree. Sounds like your parents are affraid of the world on your behalf. Do you have any older siblings? ...maybe you have a brother who always gets in trouble or injured, so thats why they "lock you up"?

[ClaraWho]

My suggestion would be to introduce them to your most 'suitable' friends, invite them over to your house, but do everything IN FRONT of them. They'll hear your interactions, see that these are good influences on you, and over time feel more comfortable letting you be around them. Invite them over to cook dinner for your parents lol. Even if that is all they end up letting you do, you get to hang out with friends at home!

This obviously only works if you have hard-working, good friends who never break the rules!

Just to satiate my curiosity, what ethnicity are you?

~ Clara

[Kirina]

Good thing this is illegal in Norway. This is "over-protective" to the point where you miss out on life experience as well as it can destroy your social life. Like "What a loser, his not allowed to go to the movies". It can even lead to social anxiety (happened to me).

I used to be with friends a lot, suddenly parents got much stricter, had to go home earlier, missed out on a lot. This lead to friends not bothering inviting me at all, as a result I stayed at home more, suddenly I was alone at school, it got harder to talk to people etc. It's fixed now, but damn what a depressing part of my life.

Talk with someone at school. Any sane person should see how dumb this kind of parenting is (Yes. I'm calling your parents insane).

[CuteGuy889]

Yeah some moms are control freaks..even at 16 my mom insists that I sleep without locking my door..and in my undies....to keep my parts cool!! ....If I sleep dressed she comes in and takes my pants off leaving me in my briefs....AND if they're dirty she takes them off as well...Few times I got seen by my cousin sisters due to this..

[PinkFloyd]

I can understand the social media thing. The world is full of rapists, serial killers, and other terrible people. Social media is their hunting ground this day in age. It's the same thing with talking to people online. However, they need to get a grip on reality. It sounds bad, but your parents need to realize that they can't save you from all the bad shit that goes on in this world and that they need to let go. You're almost 16 now, which most likely means that the part of your bran that makes basic decisions will remain the same until you turn 20-22. i.e., if they can't let you go and hang out with your friends now, they still won't want to when you're 18 and your own person.

Sorry for the rant. Anyways, I think you should talk to a councilor about this and have them talk to your parents. It might help reality set in.

[Desuetude]

I completely understand your situation, I posted a similar thread to this on VT when I was about 14 after my parents had installed all the same 'spy watch' shit on my laptop. It sucks and I had it on my devices for around a year plus got my wifi switched off at 9, only allowed on wifi for 2 hours a day etc. stuff like that. You might hear the "you could have it worse and your parents could not give a shit" comments but honestly, overbearing parents can have a horrible impact on a childs life, especially when they're at an age where they should be gaining some independence.

You have to start getting them to trust you and I can understand that when they let you do absolutely fuck all this can be difficult. Talk to them about it like an adult and take it in smaller steps. Sit them down and explain how it all makes you feel and ask them what you can do to gain some independence and make them change the way they're going about things. I know you don't want to hear it but they are only trying to protect you and I assume that you're their eldest/only child so they've never had practice with this before. You have to allow them to see your point of view.

If it's any consolation I'm nearly 18 now and I have a whole lot more freedom than I did. When I turned 17(ish) I was allowed to go to parties and they buy me alcohol when I ask for it because they trust me and I think they had to go through that protective stage to get here - I still find it crazy that these are the same people that metaphorically suffocated me so much. They'll realise they've gone about it in the wrong way in a couple of years and that's not good enough, I get that, but you'll get your freedom. Just be patient and take things slowly, ease them into you having different experiences and show them that you can be trusted e.g. say that you'll text/phone them every 30 minutes and let them meet your friends beforehand (the texting idea really helped my mum let me in town with my friends without her).

People have said talk to a counsellor but honestly, against your parents, they can do nothing. However I talked to my school guidence counsellor when I was in that situation and venting/allowing someone else to give their perspective on it can sometimes help personally, so it might be something to think about.

[GrossKahn]

I would talk to a teacher, sounds weird, but if they're overprotective, and you tell them that something is wrong and your liason teacher wants to see them, they'll come. So if your teacher agreed, it could be possible that this is just a ruse to confrontrate them with that and talk about the injures of your privat life. And maybe something will change

[StoppingTom]

How do your parents expect you to survive as an adult in the real world if they basically keep you in bubblewrap? Most kids I know with parents like that go nuts once they go to college/get any kind of freedom.

[Patri6k]

Tell them to loosen the reigns. Be like I need space! Danny