How do i tell them?

[Primenumber]

I am feeling really shitty right now, like just hanging there and hoping it is all a nightmare. I get so paranoid, this one issue has been bothering me for a year now, around 1 year ago was the worst day of my life, and other followed. I am so scared...

The thing is, it comes in episodes. A lot of time i am just normal and happy, then this comes and i just want to die. I cry even at school, and beg the teachers not to call home, my friends have no idea what is going on, they are afraid to ask. Just always "are you ok", well i am not!

I want to tell somebody, a friend not a family member (i don't want to worry my mom, she has enough worries on her own), but i can envision the reactions of my closest friends, and i don't want it to be that way, though i want it to be the people i see on regular basis. At the same time, i do not want them to look at me like i am mentally impaired every time i freak out.

Also, how do i tell them? I do not feel comfortable talking or writing about it, i haven't written it on here, and my social anxiety does not make it easier.

Please help me. I think a lot about suicide, though not very seriously yet, i have so many dreams and hopes for the future...

[Vermilion]

As hard as it must be you can really only do it one way and that's to say it. You could say something like you know how I've been acting at school ? Well I want to tell but it's hard to say. Once you start to talk you should just carry on