Question

[Cool99]

Hey everyone. I want to ask people who got bullied at school how to forget it. I had this experience 2 years ago and to this day I can't forget or forgive, and I'm not able to live again because I became a very shy girl and it's hard for me to express my feelings

[Abhorrence]

I've never overly been bullied, not for a long period of time anyway so my advice may not be as good as it could be. I know the feeling of having low self-esteem though, which is often caused by bullying and causes you to be come reclusive and shy. It's a natural response and I'm sorry that you went through bullying. You don't necessarily have to express your feelings all the time but having at least one friend who you can tell things to would be awesome. Just being able to tell somebody how you feel does make you feel relieved and you are welcome to do that to a lot of people on this site, we are here to help you.

[wolf g]

it's ok don't worry every one bullied at school me too i am so shy like you but i don't leave them bully me because i am stranger then them you jest don't leave them leave you think that you are week never it's my advice to you

[Desuetude]

I was bullied badly when I started year 3 (age 7/8) to the point where I had to move schools to get away from them and then again aged 13-16 and I've only gone a year without going to school to constant bullying. I understand that they get to you and some of the things that you're forced to become to protect yourself may not go away without hard work if you do want to get rid of them. They're deference mechanisms and prolonged bullying can rework your personality. You just have to take these traits and do what you can with them. Being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing, you're just protecting yourself and finding a place/people you're comfortable with should urge you to come out of your shell.

What seemed to work for me was being in a different situation with new people. When I started college I made a bunch of new friends who didn't know me during my 5 years of secondary school and I could leave all of the bad memories behind and 'start again'. It depends on what kind of shy you are, when I meet new people I'm extremely socially awkward and very uncomfortable but as I get to know them I open up and I'm pretty lively. A group of friends that accepts you and that you feel comfortable with can really help you to open up and getting to know them on a more personal level can aid that too.

I don't think it's about forgiving and forgetting, the years of bullying I endured will always be a part of me. It heightened my insecurities and made me hate myself to the core but you know what? It's in my past and I can move on from that. That doesn't mean I'm forgetting it and it definitely doesn't mean I forgive any of the dickheads that fucked up my childhood but when you're in a new situation and you find that you can be happy again, you stop dwelling on the bad things that happened years ago.

I don't know how old you are so it's hard for me to direct advice at you but I think that the older you are the easier it will be to let go of the past. There are lots of new things to experience and new people to meet. You have to remember that lots of things shape your personality, not just the bad things but the good things and this doesn't have to become a negative in your life. You need to work around the things you find difficult and start off slow. Expressing your feelings? VT is a great place to start. It's anonymous and there are so many different sections to vent and get things out of your system. You can write things down as poems or songs or just letters. Expressing your feelings doesn't just mean to other people but it's allowing yourself to get rid of all the negative emotions.

TL;DR - I believe that a new situation where you can make new friends that actually care for and accept you will be very benefical in these circumstances. Expressing your feelings through art forms is a good start, take it slow and you will learn to move on in your own time. I know it can get you down, very down, but you will move on eventually.

[AutumnWinds]

let me preface this by saying i 100% so not mean this as an insult of any kind.

if this all happened 2 years ago and you still can't move past it, maybe you might want to consider talking to a therapist. not because there is anything "wrong" with you for feeling the way you do, but because it's not healthy to be effected by it this much this long afterwards.

i mean if you had a cold and it wouldn't go away after a few months you would see a doctor, not because you have some sort failing as a person, but because you know you shouldn't have a cold for so long, so you get some help getting rid of it. you owe it to yourself to do whatever you can to be happy.




Hey everyone. I want to ask people who got bullied at school how to forget it. I had this experience 2 years ago and to this day I can't forget or forgive, and I'm not able to live again because I became a very shy girl and it's hard for me to express my feelings