Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck off

[Broken Toy]

This is mostly a vent like but comment your opinions and that.

For fucking fucksake man ave been well mugged off am fucking sick. Love this girl for ages, nothings happening, new girl comes along, shes dead canny and apparently likes me and all this, i actually realise im getting over original girl, feel like everythings getting better, then fucking what?

She gets with an ex in the space of 2 weeks. Like i cant control her decisions but she went away on this 'ncs' thing for 2 weekends and got with him. Ive know this girl 2 months and i liked her, i messaged her everyday, i even planned on getting her something for her birthday (its like a week) and she fucking mugs me off. Like ive made such an effort, she was clearly interested because she fucking tossed me off at a party, when we were together it wasnt like just being friends.

Im just fucking sick like, she can fuck off. I have been emotionally attached to 2 people (im not an emotional person, its hard for me to open up and all that) and i havent had any of the advantages ive just been fucked off.

And worse than that i still have some feelings for girl 1, but she only wants a buck and im willing to pretend im over her just to take our friendship further, even though it will kill me.

Fucking fucksake you dont fucking get with people when youre talking to someone fuck off

[Professional Russian]

Son what we got here, atleast as far as I can see, is a classic case of being lead on. And it's a bitch and it pisses you off and I understand that because I just got lead on and totally fucked in the end after I tried so hard. Moral of the story: don't try so hard because when it doesn't work out it will only hurt more.

[ClaraWho]

Toys out of the pram. You only knew her two months, that's really not long at all, and you can't make someone love you instead.

Programmes like 'ncs' tend to force rapid bonding and the freedom of being away from home and rules for the first time, it leads to sporadic decisions.

If you like 'girl 1' for ages and 'nothing's happened', did you ever have the courage to actually ask her out?!

Both your language and your attitude, I personally find appalling.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

Best thing to do in dating is to live and let live, especially when you are in the potential spot to be a rebound.

Ex's (depending on the nature of the relationship with the ex) can be hard to shake.

Best advice is to make it work, but always withhold a little bit of effort in the beginning of the relationship, it it lasts for a year or more, then invest in the relationship.

Anything under 6 months is a short term non-serious relationship and should not be assumed that it's going anywhere other than being a fling.

Any assumptions it's more than a fling adds pressure to the relationship and it freaks people out.

Exception: you've known your partner for years before a relationship starts and there was mutual admitted attraction to one another all that time. Then that relationship can be taken a little bit more seriously than one compared to one between two strangers that just met and had a fling.

[Broken Toy]

Toys out of the pram. You only knew her two months, that's really not long at all, and you can't make someone love you instead.

Programmes like 'ncs' tend to force rapid bonding and the freedom of being away from home and rules for the first time, it leads to sporadic decisions.

If you like 'girl 1' for ages and 'nothing's happened', did you ever have the courage to actually ask her out?!

Both your language and your attitude, I personally find appalling.

~ Clara

Doesnt really surprise me you find my language appalling, i have never had good language and obviously i have a shit attitude, im pissed off.

But yeah i dont even understand what youre getting at, like even her mates reckon ive been mugged off because it just isnt right. Like i made a proper effort for her, which doesnt mean nout fair enough, but she was making an effort. Like you dont talk to someone you recently met every day just as friends, and you definitely dont spend a whole party necking on with them.

She didnt even love her ex which is whats pissing me off, like they were fine it was an ex off ages ago but in 2 weeks she just gets with him, it isnt right like.


Yeah couldnt really do much with girl 1, like shes me best mate but she makes some bad decisions. To explain it, shes bucked 6 lads and regrets 5 of them, she is getting better now though but i dont know whats going on.

Be nice next time love :P

[Daniella98]

Toys out of the pram. You only knew her two months, that's really not long at all, and you can't make someone love you instead.

Programmes like 'ncs' tend to force rapid bonding and the freedom of being away from home and rules for the first time, it leads to sporadic decisions.

If you like 'girl 1' for ages and 'nothing's happened', did you ever have the courage to actually ask her out?!

Both your language and your attitude, I personally find appalling.

~ Clara
Im with Clara on this one. You cant expect a girl to fall in love with you just because you work a little on it. If shes not smittin, shes just not.
But I know SOME girls dwell in the attention we get, even if we know we are wasting your time and feelings and maybe money. Sorry on those girls behalf.

[Broken Toy]

Best thing to do in dating is to live and let live, especially when you are in the potential spot to be a rebound.

Ex's (depending on the nature of the relationship with the ex) can be hard to shake.

Best advice is to make it work, but always withhold a little bit of effort in the beginning of the relationship, it it lasts for a year or more, then invest in the relationship.

Anything under 6 months is a short term non-serious relationship and should not be assumed that it's going anywhere other than being a fling.

Any assumptions it's more than a fling adds pressure to the relationship and it freaks people out.

Exception: you've known your partner for years before a relationship starts and there was mutual admitted attraction to one another all that time. Then that relationship can be taken a little bit more seriously than one compared to one between two strangers that just met and had a fling.


Yeah exactly like i even said to me mates like it was scary how fast we were moving, like the 5th time i met her (talking everyday like on fb but aye) was at a houseparty and i literally spent all night with her because a different ex was trying to talk to her and she didnt want him to. But she was making an effort i was then she just mugs is off, like she didnt tell me anything i found out on facebook, i just reckon its sly to be talking all the time if she was getting in with someone else

Im with Clara on this one. You cant expect a girl to fall in love with you just because you work a little on it. If shes not smittin, shes just not.
But I know SOME girls dwell in the attention we get, even if we know we are wasting your time and feelings and maybe money. Sorry on those girls behalf.


I get that, thats not why im pissed off though. Its the fact i didnt like her, then she started talking all the time and being dead close, then i started liking her, then she mugs me off. Like she could either keep talking to me and we see what happens, or she gets with him and brings it up and that. You dont lead someone on, i didnt even know this lad was in the picture, she didnt even tell me when i saw her, i found out on fb

Double post merged. -HN

[DoodleSnap]

This is clearly an issue of miscommunication. You thought that you were heading towards a romantic relationship, she didn't, apparently. Sure, it's hard, but you can't blame her for not being a mind reader, because from her perspective, she was probably doing a bit of casual flirting with a close friend. You can't assume these things, you have to talk to them, ask them what is going on, what the relationship means.

[Broken Toy]

This is clearly an issue of miscommunication. You thought that you were heading towards a romantic relationship, she didn't, apparently. Sure, it's hard, but you can't blame her for not being a mind reader, because from her perspective, she was probably doing a bit of casual flirting with a close friend. You can't assume these things, you have to talk to them, ask them what is going on, what the relationship means.

Finally man a bit of sense. People crucifying is cause they didnt click on what i mean. Like i flirt a bit and everyone in my friends has a bit flirting for a joke but it definitely seemed like it was more than that. Like she got me into that party i barely knew the lass whos party it was, so when i got told that she was asking for me to go it obviously meant she properly wanted me to go. I definitely think she was going for more, apart from anything we necked on a lot, like we were drunk but we were together all night which doesnt normally happen, yad think we were going out like

[Uniquemind]

Finally man a bit of sense. People crucifying is cause they didnt click on what i mean. Like i flirt a bit and everyone in my friends has a bit flirting for a joke but it definitely seemed like it was more than that. Like she got me into that party i barely knew the lass whos party it was, so when i got told that she was asking for me to go it obviously meant she properly wanted me to go. I definitely think she was going for more, apart from anything we necked on a lot, like we were drunk but we were together all night which doesnt normally happen, yad think we were going out like

It's also possible you were physical conduit for emotional release or leverage on someone else (because your another guy seen with her). She carries emotional and probably psychological baggage/damage from past relationships gone bad, and sounds a bit unstable while rationalizing her behavior with YOLO culture.


It's possible she was just physically into you, but emotionally there's nothing.

Either way she used you, or is purely seeking thrills and maybe even in her mind she hasn't understood the difference between lust, and love.


Either way she's trouble, and it's time to move on and if she wants to be a teasing piece of meat for you, then by all means that's how you should think of her. Break ways and never socialize with her again, and give no explanation or even hint your pissed at her, just be cool.


There's a chance she'll not understand your "coolheaded reaction" and come running back to you. If she does deny her advances to play you again because you already know the type of person she is.

Her type: she doesn't know what she wants so she seeks emotional thrills that are fickle, because emotions are fickle.

And to make one more explanation use very little logic to understand attraction relationships and why people switch from one person to another.

You already learned that people have a hard time leaving abusive relationships, even if their physically abused or even sexually abused often from their partner.
That should tell you that the fact that they don't leave fast isn't a logical problem it's an emotional one and that same scenario happens with all relationships:

You stay or go or transition from one person to another based on emotional needs, and much less due to logic.

P. S. When girls ask you to parties sometimes they just want the cover to display that their "taken" but if you could read their mind they aren't interested in you. But they'll indulge you in some physical play as a return favor for doing something for them. (How they rationalize it in their heads sometimes).

[AutumnWinds]

i think you should consider changing the way you think about things like this, or you're going to condemn yourself to a lot of anger and disappointment in life.

i feel you you here. it really sucks when you like someone and end up losing them to someone else. where i think you're going wrong is that you act like these girls OWED you a relationship. everyone is entitles to date the people they want to date. no one ever owes you their affection. it worries me that if you keep feeling that way you'll end up missing out on someone who might really like you while you're chasing after and being angry at people for not feeling the way you think they should.

This is mostly a vent like but comment your opinions and that.

For fucking fucksake man ave been well mugged off am fucking sick. Love this girl for ages, nothings happening, new girl comes along, shes dead canny and apparently likes me and all this, i actually realise im getting over original girl, feel like everythings getting better, then fucking what?

She gets with an ex in the space of 2 weeks. Like i cant control her decisions but she went away on this 'ncs' thing for 2 weekends and got with him. Ive know this girl 2 months and i liked her, i messaged her everyday, i even planned on getting her something for her birthday (its like a week) and she fucking mugs me off. Like ive made such an effort, she was clearly interested because she fucking tossed me off at a party, when we were together it wasnt like just being friends.

Im just fucking sick like, she can fuck off. I have been emotionally attached to 2 people (im not an emotional person, its hard for me to open up and all that) and i havent had any of the advantages ive just been fucked off.

And worse than that i still have some feelings for girl 1, but she only wants a buck and im willing to pretend im over her just to take our friendship further, even though it will kill me.

Fucking fucksake you dont fucking get with people when youre talking to someone fuck off

[Broken Toy]

i think you should consider changing the way you think about things like this, or you're going to condemn yourself to a lot of anger and disappointment in life.

i feel you you here. it really sucks when you like someone and end up losing them to someone else. where i think you're going wrong is that you act like these girls OWED you a relationship. everyone is entitles to date the people they want to date. no one ever owes you their affection. it worries me that if you keep feeling that way you'll end up missing out on someone who might really like you while you're chasing after and being angry at people for not feeling the way you think they should.

Wor wor worrrr. This isnt the problem. No one owes me anything, im fine with all that. The whole problem is she mugged me off and led me on. Like i didnt like her until she started talking with me everyday, and being really close (like closer than friends) then i started liking her. No problems until she gets with someone else over 2 weeks, like you dont do that. She should have been a friend with me if she wanted him, and since she didnt, the least she could do is tell me. I saw her on the morning, then found out she was with him on the night, which is just not right.

So just to summarise before anyone else gets me confused, she doesnt owe me a relationship, she just shouldnt fuck me about first. Ive decided to get over her this whole situation (since my head is pretty messed up) by sessioning with friends :metal:

[AutumnWinds]

what did she do that was more than friendly?

[Uniquemind]

Wor wor worrrr. This isnt the problem. No one owes me anything, im fine with all that. The whole problem is she mugged me off and led me on. Like i didnt like her until she started talking with me everyday, and being really close (like closer than friends) then i started liking her. No problems until she gets with someone else over 2 weeks, like you dont do that. She should have been a friend with me if she wanted him, and since she didnt, the least she could do is tell me. I saw her on the morning, then found out she was with him on the night, which is just not right.

So just to summarise before anyone else gets me confused, she doesnt owe me a relationship, she just shouldnt fuck me about first. Ive decided to get over her this whole situation (since my head is pretty messed up) by sessioning with friends :metal:

You know I talked to a guy friend of mine who has dealt with a similar problem as you.

I wanted his advice in response to your OP, and he said that he's more of a womanizer or "player" because of girls who've treated him like this girl (girl #2 right?) has treated you.

She used or deceived you basically.


Now his advice is not the best advice at all in my opinion, but he said it is important to be distant, and if a girl just abruptly abandons you, at least you "tapped that".

Keep emotions out of it until she proves loyalty to you.

How a girl is supposed to prove loyalty to a guy, he didn't specify...

But I thought I'd pass along that piece of advice, make of it what you will.

[Broken Toy]

what did she do that was more than friendly?

First 2 days a saw her, all fine.

Next couple times, no bother, just being daft.

Then, she gets pissed and inboxes is, but after this, is a period where we inboxing every day. That isnt just friends.

Then, im invited to this houseparty, i barely know the lass and apparently she got is invited, again like thats more than friendly. She specifically got me an invite to get drunk with her.

At this houseparty, (what i remember, i had about twice as much straight vodka as i can handle), wa just talking, then she starts crying because this ex wants to get with her, but she doesnt. I cheer her up, she necks on with is, which starts a situation where i spend (literally) all night necking on with her. Like, neck on a bit, people start going to sleep, we go on a bed and neck on, come downstairs, and neck on for the next 3+ hours. That is not normal, like normally round here, neck on with a few girls, a few times, but we spent the whole party together. That is definitely not normal.

Yeah, so judge from that what you will, but i will point out her lad now isnt the same ex as the party

(Also she tossed is off, but that is just friends drinking round here)


Yes Uniquemind , youre getting it. Like this isnt about me getting turfed, you know the score thank you. I actually know exactly what your friend is saying, and it is some good advice in fairness

[Karamelka]

Read the first word and was like YEP BRITISH.

Just chill out. Everyone is gonna get screwed over at some point in their lives ;(

[ObliviousCat]

At this houseparty, (what i remember, i had about twice as much straight vodka as i can handle), wa just talking, then she starts crying because this ex wants to get with her, but she doesnt. I cheer her up, she necks on with is, which starts a situation where i spend (literally) all night necking on with her. Like, neck on a bit, people start going to sleep, we go on a bed and neck on, come downstairs, and neck on for the next 3+ hours. That is not normal, like normally round here, neck on with a few girls, a few times, but we spent the whole party together. That is definitely not normal.

Yeah, so judge from that what you will, but i will point out her lad now isnt the same ex as the party

(Also she tossed is off, but that is just friends drinking round here)


I don't think the majority of people responding understand where you're coming from, and I've read your responses to them in order to piece together the whole story (in your perspective). She lead you on, whether it was intentional or not, and there's nothing wrong with you being upset over it. Who wouldn't be? That isn't fun. :/
Maybe it wasn't intentional, though, considering that she got drunk (right?). Perhaps the alcohol influenced her actions and she wasn't really thinking straight.

Are you sure girl 1 isn't interested in you at all? Have you tried flirting with her, subtly hinting at things?

[SillyShyGuy]

I am sorry mate. She screwed you over. You poured out your feelings so she can take advantage and spit in your face. I hate when things like that happen, especially when you put in so much effort only to be replaced. This just shows she is shallow since she did not appreciate what you did for her. Do you think the first girl can ever be with you? Do you think you can take things to the next level with her?