Becoming Friends with girl next door?

[photonstrudel]

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[Sandybeaches]

I think after school is probably the best time, maybe get s chance to walk home with her just chat about random stuff for a while. Then maybe try to make it a regular thing.

Sorry I'm not much help but i have no experience of this either

[Uniquemind]

SKIP TO TL;DR IF YOU WANT:
I'm 14 years old and there is a girl next door that lived there for a long time(we'll call her Donna), but I've never said hardly 2 words to her all the years she's been there(didn't even know her name). A couple days ago I noticed her family driving to the local park next to an elementary school, because my bedroom window faces the street.I knew that was her because a few weeks earlier I had climbed the roof of said school (it's summer;no one there)for fun and saw their truck from there.

I decided to go and talk to her, so I rode my bike to the park and talked to her a bit. She seemed uninterested, giving short answers to questions and ignoring remarks I made. maybe because I spent all that time not talking to her despite being so close(maybe she takes me as a creep?).She was playing with 2 younger boys about 5 and 4 and her younger sister who lives with her about 7 I think. She was playing role of babysitter for these young kids. Occasionally one of the kids would swear, something like "dumbass"or "fuck" and it seemed she was teaching or at least not scolding swearing. She mentioned call of duty, and seemed relaxed, but uninterested in me. After awkwardly moving to a few pieces of playground equipment following to what the little kids wanted to go to, talking a little bit,(with her family or some other people watching, the park was fairly empty, no doubt her parents asked her about me), it got dark and I told her bye, didn't arrange sometime to meet. I didn't ask her phone number or anything, because I figured she's not interested in talking to me.

I was not sure if this was the right section to post to, because I'm not really sure I want her to be my girlfriend. I've never had one and it seems a waste to not at least hang out with her;she seems chill and lives next door, how many guys would have killed to have that setup when they were teens?

What I'm guessing is that she sees me as a creep, and she want's a 'bad boy'. While it may seem that I am a bad boy because I climbed a school roof, that's not something I would normally do. I certainly don't act like a bad boy to my friends at school. Donna used to play sometimes with her sister in her backyard, but it seems she doesn't anymore, so I don't really have much opportunity to talk to her(which is why I gained all my courage to go and talk to her at the park).

TL;DR I'm 14, girl next door is 13, she's lived there along time, we never talked, maybe thinks I'm a creep, recently had a chance to talk, found out her name, she seems uninterested in me, seems chill,want to be friends with her, maybe girlfriend, not much opportunity to talk to her, how can I initiate contact and how might I make her my friend? I'm never really relaxed when talking to people.

First off stop assuming stuff about what she thinks of you be it good or bad things. (right now you think she thinks your a creep).

The best thing you can do is be polite and stop over hyping things and putting the idea of socializing with her (like saying hi) is this big thing.

In reality, she's probably indifferent and neutral to you.

--

When you're young like her siblings it's easy to introduce yourself to other kids, but as you get older introducing yourself to people and getting to know your peer group and bonding with them takes and requires environmental context (school, work, a common goal or hobby in a public place) to make the 'getting to know you process' smooth.

If you just go up to people and randomly say "hi" it comes off as forcefully getting in their faces for what could be less than well-intentioned reasons. This is to be expected though we've been conditioned to see the world and fear stranger danger, and boys are pervy creeps specifically to girls so their always on-guard.



Also tip of advice, never pursue someone to "role-play" what relationships you "should have" for your age group. You pursue relationships because you want the relationship be it friendship or romance.

You don't do it because you have to prove something, that is the path to becoming an asshole and someone who doesn't live life honestly.


She did mention call of duty, so perhaps that was her olive branch to offer a topic she stereotypically thinks boys generically like to strike up a conversation.

TL;DR you're over thinking this. Just be kind to her and see her as an individual without sexualizing her as a girl and you'll probably have a new friend in no time. Having a quick conversational wit for humor's sake will speed up the process too.

[DoodleSnap]

First off stop assuming stuff about what she thinks of you be it good or bad things. (right now you think she thinks your a creep).

The best thing you can do is be polite and stop over hyping things and putting the idea of socializing with her (like saying hi) is this big thing.

In reality, she's probably indifferent and neutral to you.

--

When you're young like her siblings it's easy to introduce yourself to other kids, but as you get older introducing yourself to people and getting to know your peer group and bonding with them takes and requires environmental context (school, work, a common goal or hobby in a public place) to make the 'getting to know you process' smooth.

If you just go up to people and randomly say "hi" it comes off as forcefully getting in their faces for what could be less than well-intentioned reasons. This is to be expected though we've been conditioned to see the world and fear stranger danger, and boys are pervy creeps specifically to girls so their always on-guard.



Also tip of advice, never pursue someone to "role-play" what relationships you "should have" for your age group. You pursue relationships because you want the relationship be it friendship or romance.

You don't do it because you have to prove something, that is the path to becoming an asshole and someone who doesn't live life honestly.


She did mention call of duty, so perhaps that was her olive branch to offer a topic she stereotypically thinks boys generically like to strike up a conversation.

TL;DR you're over thinking this. Just be kind to her and see her as an individual without sexualizing her as a girl and you'll probably have a new friend in no time. Having a quick conversational wit for humor's sake will speed up the process too.
Pretty much this^^^

Don't enter or seek a relationship because of what other people think, or what you feel is 'normal', you should want to have a relationship with someone.

[AutumnWinds]

SKIP TO TL;DR IF YOU WANT:
I'm 14 years old and there is a girl next door that lived there for a long time(we'll call her Donna), but I've never said hardly 2 words to her all the years she's been there(didn't even know her name). A couple days ago I noticed her family driving to the local park next to an elementary school, because my bedroom window faces the street.I knew that was her because a few weeks earlier I had climbed the roof of said school (it's summer;no one there)for fun and saw their truck from there.

I decided to go and talk to her, so I rode my bike to the park and talked to her a bit. She seemed uninterested, giving short answers to questions and ignoring remarks I made. maybe because I spent all that time not talking to her despite being so close(maybe she takes me as a creep?).She was playing with 2 younger boys about 5 and 4 and her younger sister who lives with her about 7 I think. She was playing role of babysitter for these young kids. Occasionally one of the kids would swear, something like "dumbass"or "fuck" and it seemed she was teaching or at least not scolding swearing. She mentioned call of duty, and seemed relaxed, but uninterested in me. After awkwardly moving to a few pieces of playground equipment following to what the little kids wanted to go to, talking a little bit,(with her family or some other people watching, the park was fairly empty, no doubt her parents asked her about me), it got dark and I told her bye, didn't arrange sometime to meet. I didn't ask her phone number or anything, because I figured she's not interested in talking to me.

I was not sure if this was the right section to post to, because I'm not really sure I want her to be my girlfriend. I've never had one and it seems a waste to not at least hang out with her;she seems chill and lives next door, how many guys would have killed to have that setup when they were teens?

What I'm guessing is that she sees me as a creep, and she want's a 'bad boy'. While it may seem that I am a bad boy because I climbed a school roof, that's not something I would normally do. I certainly don't act like a bad boy to my friends at school. Donna used to play sometimes with her sister in her backyard, but it seems she doesn't anymore, so I don't really have much opportunity to talk to her(which is why I gained all my courage to go and talk to her at the park).

TL;DR I'm 14, girl next door is 13, she's lived there along time, we never talked, maybe thinks I'm a creep, recently had a chance to talk, found out her name, she seems uninterested in me, seems chill,want to be friends with her, maybe girlfriend, not much opportunity to talk to her, how can I initiate contact and how might I make her my friend? I'm never really relaxed when talking to people.

maybe try talking to her after school? especially if you both walk home or from the bus stop. ask her about herself and try to see if there is anything she tels you that interests you then go from there?

keep us all updated.