I need some help...again

[Professional Russian]

If anyone remembers the last girl I was asking about no need to fear. This isn't about her. But I've been talking to this new girl. We're very similar have alot of the same problems and we're pretty close. Not as close as me and the last girl but we're pretty close. I learned from last time not be as clingy but I still text this girl once a day asking how she's feeling (she's has a real big problem with depression) some days she answers some days she doesn't. Today would be one of those days she didn't. Now knowing the position she's in I get pretty concerned. I know nothing happened but I still worry. And of course that clingyness comes back and I want to just keep texting her till she answers but that's one of the reasons I lost the last girl. I don't want to be annoying and clingy with this girl but if something did happen I'd feel so horribly bad because I could have helped. Basically I don't know what to do. Whether to text her a couple times a day or just once and let it at that. I want to be there and I want to help but I don't want to be clingy and annoying and loose this one too. Any advice? Any at all?

[Laura101]

DO NOT keep texting her repeatedly. It wreaks of desperation and neediness and will definitely turn a girl off. Very nice you care for her and that you are concerned but that IS NOT a good foundation for a relationship. If you've already let her know you care, that's good enough. She knows you texted and she'll respond if and when she wants to. Might seem unfair but 1st, you already admitted she has issues and 2nd, she is likely not in the same place as you are regarding your feelings for her. The fastest and most efficient way for you to drive her away is for you to keep pressuring her. After maybe 10 days if she still hasn't responded to your text you could maybe send her a very short message like, "Hey, hope you are doing well." and leave it at that. DO NOT add that you hope to hear back from her soon or that you even expect for her to text back. I know it sounds shitty and unfair but that's how it is. It is more likely she will respond when she hasn't heard from you in a while.

[Vermilion]

I'm clingy like you and get worried when I get no reply. I do think you kinda cause yourself a problem by falling for girls that have similar problems to you. I understand that it's nice that you can relate but you are trying to help when you need to help yourself. For the same reason I took a break from so I could focus on me and not others. You need to help yourself first. I don't mean to be rude at all I needed to say that.

[Professional Russian]

DO NOT keep texting her repeatedly. It wreaks of desperation and neediness and will definitely turn a girl off. Very nice you care for her and that you are concerned but that IS NOT a good foundation for a relationship. If you've already let her know you care, that's good enough. She knows you texted and she'll respond if and when she wants to. Might seem unfair but 1st, you already admitted she has issues and 2nd, she is likely not in the same place as you are regarding your feelings for her. The fastest and most efficient way for you to drive her away is for you to keep pressuring her. After maybe 10 days if she still hasn't responded to your text you could maybe send her a very short message like, "Hey, hope you are doing well." and leave it at that. DO NOT add that you hope to hear back from her soon or that you even expect for her to text back. I know it sounds shitty and unfair but that's how it is. It is more likely she will respond when she hasn't heard from you in a while.
I wouldn't say I have feelings for her she's just a good friend and I always take care of my friends
I'm clingy like you and get worried when I get no reply. I do think you kinda cause yourself a problem by falling for girls that have similar problems to you. I understand that it's nice that you can relate but you are trying to help when you need to help yourself. For the same reason I took a break from so I could focus on me and not others. You need to help yourself first. I don't mean to be rude at all I needed to say that.

I don't think I fell for her. It's just not the same feeling as the last girl she's just a friend at this point

[StoppingTime]

I'm a lot like that too, especially with people I'm close with, romantically or not. But at a certain point I think you do need to just back down for a bit and give her some space - she'll respond when she's feeling up to it. As long as you know (or are pretty sure/don't see any signs) that's she's in danger of hurting herself or anyone else, try not to worry about it so much. Sometimes just talking to people can be a stressor for certain people, and constantly texting if she hasn't replied may only make it worse.
So tldr: give her some time, she'll probably respond, and (this part's harder) if you don't have any logical reason to be worried about her, try not to be.

[Professional Russian]

I'm a lot like that too, especially with people I'm close with, romantically or not. But at a certain point I think you do need to just back down for a bit and give her some space - she'll respond when she's feeling up to it. As long as you know (or are pretty sure/don't see any signs) that's she's in danger of hurting herself or anyone else, try not to worry about it so much. Sometimes just talking to people can be a stressor for certain people, and constantly texting if she hasn't replied may only make it worse.
So tldr: give her some time, she'll probably respond, and (this part's harder) if you don't have any logical reason to be worried about her, try not to be.

She admitted to me she was cutting. She said she did it all the time. She said she wanted to die bit didn't have the balls to kill herself. That's why I worry so much probably because of what she told me but I do worry alot. I texted her once today and she usually has a good thing of replying some point in the day whether it's immediately or a couple hours down the road but I haven't from her since yesterday afternoon so im getting alittle concerned...although some people do have a life unlike me. But I still do worry. Maybe a bit to much...I mean damn the last girl hates me because I cared about her and I don't want that happening with this one

[Vermilion]

I still think you need to focus on yourself

[Professional Russian]

I still think you need to focus on yourself

What's the point focusing on myself? I'm not dead. I'm fine. And at the moment I don't want to die. Might as well try to help while I'm in a good mood.

[Vermilion]

What's the point focusing on myself? I'm not dead. I'm fine. And at the moment I don't want to die. Might as well try to help while I'm in a good mood.

cos your good now don't go back

[Professional Russian]

cos your good now don't go back

Ok not being a dumbass but its early and I haven't had my caffeine yet so I have no clue what you mean by don't go back... Explain please?

[Vermilion]

Ok not being a dumbass but its early and I haven't had my caffeine yet so I have no clue what you mean by don't go back... Explain please?


I mean don't get depressed helping others

[Professional Russian]

I mean don't get depressed helping others

I wasn't getting depressed I was getting worried and I wanted to know what I could do to help. I know I didn't do anything wrong to this girl and that she likes talking to me. So when she doesn't talk I always think somethings wrong even though most of the time there isn't

[AutumnWinds]

just text her the one time. if she doesn't respond the first time, she isn't likely to subsequent times, and you'll just end up making yourself look desperate. the only real exception is if she flat out tells you to text her more saying sometimes she doesn't get the text or whatever.

[Professional Russian]

just text her the one time. if she doesn't respond the first time, she isn't likely to subsequent times, and you'll just end up making yourself look desperate. the only real exception is if she flat out tells you to text her more saying sometimes she doesn't get the text or whatever.

She never said text me more but I asked her if I was ever annoying when I texted her maybe like twice a day and she said no its fine I just get busy. I've noticed its when she's having a bad day she texts me more because I'm always there to support her which I really do like knowing

[AutumnWinds]

She never said text me more but I asked her if I was ever annoying when I texted her maybe like twice a day and she said no its fine I just get busy. I've noticed its when she's having a bad day she texts me more because I'm always there to support her which I really do like knowing

i dunno if she is one of them but i know some girls who say things like that just so as not ot sound mean.

but since she does message you sometimes maybe limit it to twice a day...Unless she doesn't message you for a couple days, then drop it ot once, or even skip a day. you don't wanna look too desperate.

[Professional Russian]

i dunno if she is one of them but i know some girls who say things like that just so as not ot sound mean.

but since she does message you sometimes maybe limit it to twice a day...Unless she doesn't message you for a couple days, then drop it ot once, or even skip a day. you don't wanna look too desperate.

I told her oin the beginning how my mind workß and whats going to happen with different scenarios just to warn her and she told me it was OK. One day I asked what i should do if she's having a bad day. She told me text her once as always then maybe text her agàin late4 to see if shes feeling better. But I'm one of those people that is youre having a bad day i want to annoy the fuck out of you till you respond because i want to help you. My mind's just fuvkrd up and im trying to see how a normal person would go about this

[AutumnWinds]

I told her oin the beginning how my mind workß and whats going to happen with different scenarios just to warn her and she told me it was OK. One day I asked what i should do if she's having a bad day. She told me text her once as always then maybe text her agàin late4 to see if shes feeling better. But I'm one of those people that is youre having a bad day i want to annoy the fuck out of you till you respond because i want to help you. My mind's just fuvkrd up and im trying to see how a normal person would go about this


well i told you how i would go about it, but this is your call. you gotta decide if you wanna take my advice or not because at the end of the day it;s you who is gonna face the consequences good or bad.

i hope it works out for you though