Guilty feelings

[BippityBop]

Hey guys, this is my first thread, mainly I just wanted to ask about something. About a month ago me and my friend (who wasn't officially my girlfriend but we talked a lot and kissed before too, it's complicated) stopped talking. It was going great really, but we were both at a rough spot with our parents, and we lashed out at each other. Not physically, just a very heated argument. I said some things I'm really not proud of and I apologised a lot the next time we spoke, about a week later. The thing is, even though we both apologised and and said we'd happily move on, I can't stop feeling guilty about it whenever I think of her. I've woken up more than once crying because I relive the argument in my dreams. She's pretty much said to me that it would never work between us so I can't really ask if we could try again at having a relationship. What should I do? I want to move on or just not feel guilty any more but I can't. Feel free to share any similar stories of your own if you want.

[ClaraWho]

Hmm, well without knowing how badly you acted, we cannot really help. There's a big difference between childish name calling and a thorough character assassination using the most private information and insecurities.

Please let me know more info so I can respond properly.

~ Clara

[BippityBop]

Like I said, I'm not proud of it, and I didn't mean what I said but here's the exact message I sent that started the argument (the rest of it was in person):
'You know what, fuck you, I bet you never even liked me in the fucking first place did you. I bet this was all some stupid joke that you came up with to make me look like an idiot in front of everyone. Well guess what, I don't give a shit anymore, you can have a good laugh about it at school now and I'll just sit and fucking take it, because God fucking knows I don't get the piss taken out of me enough because I do fucking PA, as well as the fact I'm shit at sports and I'm a fat lazy arsehole.'

It was prompted more because I was mad at my parents and people at school, and I just chose the wrong place to vent that anger.

[BippityBop]

Thanks for the help, I'll try that. I'll let you know as soon as possible but it'll be a while till I get the chance to see her again. I'm in the UK you see so I'm not back at school yet, got until September till I'm bacj

[DoodleSnap]

Tell her how you feel.
No one is a mind reader, so let her know how you feel, with a rational discussion, so she can understand, and you guys can try to work through it together. Opening up, and sharing your insecurities is a really important thing to do, as unspoken tension causes damage to a relationship.

[megmurph]

Sometimes it takes a while to get over what you've said to someone. You never really get over it totally. The best thing to do is to focus on what's important to you and don't bring up that sore subject again.

[Andre 99]

I know you said you apologised, but did you explain to her like you just explained to us?
That you were pissed off at your family and jerks in school, and she got it, both barrells?

Give it time, you will eventually feel less agry at yourself for what you did.
And, maybe, so will she.

[AutumnWinds]

i heard someone say once that forgiveness is such a great undertaking that it requires two people. the victim and the aggressor.

if you want to move forward you need to leave what you did in the past and dedicate the energy you spend being mad at yourself to making sure you're a better person in the future.



Hey guys, this is my first thread, mainly I just wanted to ask about something. About a month ago me and my friend (who wasn't officially my girlfriend but we talked a lot and kissed before too, it's complicated) stopped talking. It was going great really, but we were both at a rough spot with our parents, and we lashed out at each other. Not physically, just a very heated argument. I said some things I'm really not proud of and I apologised a lot the next time we spoke, about a week later. The thing is, even though we both apologised and and said we'd happily move on, I can't stop feeling guilty about it whenever I think of her. I've woken up more than once crying because I relive the argument in my dreams. She's pretty much said to me that it would never work between us so I can't really ask if we could try again at having a relationship. What should I do? I want to move on or just not feel guilty any more but I can't. Feel free to share any similar stories of your own if you want.