ValentinClarke
August 15th, 2015, 03:21 PM
One of my friends, who has helped me a lot, has cancer. He hasn't even told me, however, I found out from his girlfriend, and sadly, he will die within the next week. I dont know what to do. I havent had one iota of feelings though. I think Im numb. I dont know. Another friend had been diagnosed as well, but she refuses to let me worry about her. I have never really felt any emotions about my friends being diagnosed, so this makes me think that i am very removed from my life. But since finding out hes dying, I havent been eating properly, and ive had pains in my stomach and i've been feeling tired. I've had many suicidal thoughts within the last couple months, finding out my friends have cancer etc. How do I cope with such things? I havent cried in over a year, and its worrying me. I cant even produce any tears. Am I a heartless son of a bitch? Ive had problems with anxiety in the past, and anxiety attacks. What do I do? if he dies, the teachers will tell us, and I wont even have any emotions... It'll seem like I hated him... I'm severely shut off from society. I dont know what to do, someone help please.