justindw199
August 13th, 2015, 05:45 PM
Hi all. The last few months have been really rough for me. A couple months back, I lost my closest friend of all time (she saved my life) because of a mistake I kept repeating and then I took advice from my parents (which made things worse), and I lost her. Ever since then I have been feeling awful about myself, she was my only friend, and I felt so alone.
I felt pretty awful about myself. I just felt useless and hopeless. Pretty much every second someone wasn't interacting with me in any way (which was almost all day, including parents), I was thinking about memories, good and bad, and how I really didn't have a good future ahead of me, just being alone and not succeeding in life.
Before it all started going downhill, I did meet a new friend, she was (and still is) incredibly nice and has been there for me the entire way, she really helped a ton. She's currently my only friend.
After school got out, it took about a month and I eventually got over my loss, just having my new friend helped me a lot. But now that school is back (and we are an incredibly small school), I see my old friend every day, multiple times a day, and it just plummets me down into feeling awful again.
Even though I have my new friend, it has made me feel alone again. I get to see my new friend every day, and she temporarily cheers me up. But when I get home, my parents have next to no time for me, and I just drop again.
Whatever I do, I just can't stop myself from thinking about how worthless I am. Some of you may have seen my post from when all of this originally started a few months ago , and the home situation has improved dramatically, and I am no longer thinking about suicide (which is a good thing) (I have requested for it to be taken down so I can put that chapter of my life behind me).
What I need is a way to get all of this off my mind for good, so I can go back to being happy like I was during the summer break. Any help would be highly appreciated.
I felt pretty awful about myself. I just felt useless and hopeless. Pretty much every second someone wasn't interacting with me in any way (which was almost all day, including parents), I was thinking about memories, good and bad, and how I really didn't have a good future ahead of me, just being alone and not succeeding in life.
Before it all started going downhill, I did meet a new friend, she was (and still is) incredibly nice and has been there for me the entire way, she really helped a ton. She's currently my only friend.
After school got out, it took about a month and I eventually got over my loss, just having my new friend helped me a lot. But now that school is back (and we are an incredibly small school), I see my old friend every day, multiple times a day, and it just plummets me down into feeling awful again.
Even though I have my new friend, it has made me feel alone again. I get to see my new friend every day, and she temporarily cheers me up. But when I get home, my parents have next to no time for me, and I just drop again.
Whatever I do, I just can't stop myself from thinking about how worthless I am. Some of you may have seen my post from when all of this originally started a few months ago , and the home situation has improved dramatically, and I am no longer thinking about suicide (which is a good thing) (I have requested for it to be taken down so I can put that chapter of my life behind me).
What I need is a way to get all of this off my mind for good, so I can go back to being happy like I was during the summer break. Any help would be highly appreciated.