Judging the past

[Daniella98]

Hello everybody.

What would a person have done in their past which make you NOT want to start a relationship with them?

Drugs, Violence, Assassin (I know that not many people are in that category of course) but you know whatever your reasons must be.
Would you for instance date a former or current porn actor/actress?

[mikielikesit]

I think the only thing that id completely rule out is if they were a heroin/pill user. Not to judge but there is so much baggage that comes with them I would not want to be part of it

[Gwen]

It depends if they are still currently doing those things. If you have made mistakes on the past how can you move on if no one lets you? I am fine with any previous luggage if you are capable of moving forwards :)

[ClaireM]

I wouldn't date someone who I new was violent in the past, I wouldn't trust them

[Rocketsnail]

I think I'd be fine with anyone, as long as they don't have any criminal convictions for anything like murder

[ValentinClarke]

The only thing would be if they had killed someone close to them; I don't mind Violence, Drugs, Self Harm etc etc

[wolf g]

i don't care about things like that because i never dating any one and i will not

[THJKIGB]

I wouldn't date a drug user, someone who has a violent past,and someone who was a felon.

[lliam]

Basically the past of other people I'm interessted in don't bother me. I had only two relationships with girls. And I never asked both of them what they've previously done or so.

Even, you get those infos in passing. And then you can compare how the person is now and how she (or he) acted in the past. No such dark secrets came to light so far, that I would have to puke about it.

[Dune]

Hello everybody.

What would a person have done in their past which make you NOT want to start a relationship with them?

Drugs, Violence, Assassin (I know that not many people are in that category of course) but you know whatever your reasons must be.
Would you for instance date a former or current porn actor/actress?

Hard drugs is a maybe, emotionally unstable/clingy, scizo, prison sentence.

[everlong]

I don't think I could date a porn actress, nor could I date an assassin.

[Typhlosion]

As crazy it might be, the girl I'm dating is not too far from dating an assasin... Hrm :/

Legal/financial complications, porn star's really weird too, born as a biologically different gender (sorry).

[jessie3]

I would not date a guy who uses and abuses hard core drugs such as heroin or crack. I would also never date anyone with financial problems. Everything else is fine with me.

[Waleedbt]

At this age? A child.
But if we are talking about later in life too? Then id say drugs, or just being in jail, heck even has a mug shot.

[Taraloid]

Later in life, I wouldn't date someone who had done drugs or drinking (excessively) and anything illegal, or a former porn star

[Abhorrence]

I wouldn't date anyone who has had a sexual assault record. Maybe criminals in general would be off-limits depending on how severe the crime was. If they've had a history of drug abuse, I guess I'd be fine with it but only if they were completely off of it and didn't look like complete messes (sounds shallow but whatever). I think that's about it.

[ClaraWho]

Everything you listed would result in me no longer being in any contact with the person, nevermind dating them.

If our basic morals don't match up, you are no longer someone I want anything to do with, even in passing. Life's too short and there are too many awesome people who I could be happy with!

~ Clara

[Unlucky]

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[Melodic]

I wouldn't judge anybody by their past. I'd probably be more closed up at first if it was something harmful to another person. I've personally done a lot of stupid things in my past that I wouldn't do now. I would judge them by who they are now. Not by who they were.

[Jean Poutine]

Yeah, sure.

-ex-hard drug addicts
-ex-alcoholics
-anyone who's cheated on a loved one, even just once
-anyone who has ever made a false rape accusation
-trannies
-too many sexual partners (double digits is 100% no)
-ever had sex for money (includes porn stars, girls who have had sugar daddies (but who deny that makes them prostitutes), prostitutes who call themselves prostitutes or escorts, etc)
-history of BPD, NPD, HPD or bipolar disorder
-history of domestic violence and/or strife as the perpetrator
-ex-felons, depending on what they did and what happened
-x's studies grads, where x is any minority or "oppressed" group, ie. women, Afro-American, etc (why? Because you have to be fucking stupid to think getting one of these "degrees" is a good idea and that is a stain on the past I cannot ignore.)
-divorcees who initiated it, the more repeats the likelier I nope out, the worse the reason the likelier I nope out
-kids from a previous relationship, if only because I hate kids
-too much emotional baggage from past events, the more there is the likelier I nope out

I'm a judgmental bastard. As they say here, chassez le naturel, il revient au galop. I do think some people can fundamentally change their personality, but I also think that to do so is a constant battle against one's natural inclinations. If that person falters even once, I'm probably going to feel the sting. I absolutely despise drama so anything that tells me there might be some drama waiting in store for me makes me run away like Speedy Gonzalez.

I'm also very picky. If I'm going to jump into another relationship then I decided I might as well fish for exactly the kind of person I want and never settle for less.

[Babs]

A history of violence, theft, anything that hurts people. Otherwise I don't care if they used to do drugs, but I probably would end it if they continued doing hard drugs.

[megmurph]

The only thing that would turn me off would be if the person had STD's or something I could catch. Other than that people make mistakes but that doesn't mean they can't change. If they cheated though that's something you have to watch out for. Cheaters always cheat it seems.

[Zachary G]

I live in a glass house, so I have no room to judge anyone at all, but when it comes to people and their past, I would have to take a lot into consideration before I committed myself to a relationship with that person. It wouldnt be judging as much as it would be looking out for my best interest.

FYI - I couldn't be in a relationship with a porn star

[Hannah98]

Depends on the situation. A neighbor of ours is a convicted sex offender. He met his wife when he was seventeen and she was fifteen. They had sex after being together for several months. Her parents found out and pressed charges. They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Let's say if I were an older woman and met this guy after he got a divorce or maybe his wife passed away, I could never hold his conviction against him. But, if a guy was violent and had a history of being abusive toward women, I wouldn't risk it. If a guy got hooked on drugs at an earlier age but was able to beat the addiction, I might still go out with him so long as he was no kidding off the drugs. I guess it all depends.