Someone help me, please

[BADdies]

I don't know from where to start. I literally hate my life. I don't feel happy at all, not a single bit.
A year ago my brother had been diagnosed with kidneys failure and it hurt me so much because I love him more than anything. Since then I've been suffering from panic attacks which led to depression. I won't go far with the details coz we all know what depression feels like, I'll just say that I have disrespectful mother who I can hardly stand and my brother, now since he is healthy again, has changed so much and I just miss my old him. But that's not the end, I often go angry over stupid things coz I'm insecure and I try not to cry but it makes me feel even worse so I just bite myself or stab nails in my arms...I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I never wake up again. I want to be normal, for once in my life...

[ptz7649]

oh, I feel so bad for you. :( that sounds really tough,
You should see a doctor for the panic attacks and depression and s/he will probably be able to help you. I used to bite myself in the same way and I thought that I was the only one that did it but it's a small help for me to know that others are going through the same thing. Hopefully it would be a small help to you to know that I have come out the other end and though I'm not fully recovered, there are lots of people like us that have recovered fully.
They are the people that inspire me, anyway.
I would recommend helplines to call for depression and panic attacks, probably the most well known and reliable one would be childline. I don't know where you live, but that's the case in the UK. (Look it up) you can call childline and talk about basically anything, and it's free, and your parents won't know because I'm pretty sure it doesn't show up in search history.
Anyway, best of luck, from me x

[THJKIGB]

I am certainly not going to come off telling you I know how you feel and I have the answers for you because I don't. I do however feel terrible for you that you feel this way about yourself and especially that you wish never to wake up again. That is really scary when you get to that point in your life I bet. The only thing I can tell you to do is go to your school counselor and talk to him/her and see if they have any resources that maybe able to help you out. I hope you find the right answers soon. A life is way to important to feel miserable all the time.

[StoppingTom]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, especially because you sound like a deeply caring person. I know how hurting yourself can maybe get rid of those feelings you can't express, but you know it's not good for you. Are there any ways you can express yourself? Like art or writing or other interests you have. You'll always have a sympathetic ear you can talk to here, and don't hesitate to tell us if there's something we can do for you.

[leskas]

when you hate your wife, why don't you break out with her?

[wolf g]

why you don't try to leave your self busy of curse your brother's sick leave change these is a psycology problem because you stay in the promblem and you don't try to get out from these
as advice you don't have gevin up just like that fite you must stay strong don't be week after your first problem

[BADdies]

Thank you guys, it means a lot to me.

I actually went to the doctor, first time it was okay, second time my mom went with us (me and my dad) and she was like all caring and worried (but she is not, sometimes i feel like she has bipolar or two personalities) We made a deal that I'll go to daily hospital because I refuse taking pills. When we got home my mom said that we'll have to move my therapy to xyz date because she doesn't want to ruin her vacation. Now when the date is coming soon my dad called the hospital and he told me we'll wait til my doctor comes back to work (btw, she said like 5 times that she'll be on vacation til the end of the month but we shell come on therapy anyway) I don't understand why's nobody taking me serious? I have a problem, I get panic attacks every time I leave the house (I might have gotten an agoraphobia) and nobody seems to give a damn, they keep pushing me to go on public places against my will.
I'm so miserable...

[Nav-Man]

Hey bro, Look. That sucks.
I was in your shoes.
Your parent's think It's a phase. That's all it is.
It's like teaching a bird to fly, Sometimes you need that little push and I believe that's what they're doing.
I'd suggest having a close family friend to talk to. Maybe they'd see it through a different perspective and tell your family about it.

[wolf g]

the time will help you