It's Impossible To Have Real Friends If You Are Unnattractive

[Syzygy]

if you are less attractive than your "friends" they will subconsciously feel superior and above you and this will reflect in their actions and opinions towards you. it's literally impossible to win if you're unattractive. even if you see strangers with seemingly similar interests what's the point of trying to become friends or even acquaintances when they will always look down on you without realizing it.

[Hudor]

No, that's not true really. In general, people don't make friends on the basis of looks. You made another thread about looks as well and I understand you've got a low self-esteem issue but tbh no one will avoid/look down upon you because you look less attractive. I think you should try and mix with people and keep the bias aside that you will be seen as inferior (because a lot of times when we have a certain notion we act and think others also act according to it when actually it isn't so).

[Syzygy]

No, that's not true really. In general, people don't make friends on the basis of looks. You made another thread about looks as well and I understand you've got a low self-esteem issue but tbh no one will avoid/look down upon you because you look less attractive. I think you should try and mix with people and keep the bias aside that you will be seen as inferior (because a lot of times when we have a certain notion we act and think others also act according to it when actually it isn't so).

all my problems can be attributed to my appearance. every time I am mistreated it's just a reminder that if my midface was more developed, my chin a little wider, my brow a little lower, my cheekbones a little higher, that I wouldn't be treated the same. there's a saying that goes "if you meet one jerk a day that's bad luck, if you meet ten a day then you are the jerk". they should change it to either you are the jerk or just inferior. I will just accept my role in life, and live stoically until I die

[Ratman1234]

Yh...I don't think that's true. If you have a confident atttitude and general feel about yourself you will be seen as a great person. Don't let your looks (which are probably fine) affect you as they don't really matter. Just be confident :D

[maggs]

That's bullshit. Real friendship is not like you say. Real friends don't care if you are ugly or not. If you have met only some fake friends that's a completely different thing.

[SethfromMI]

That's bullshit. Real friendship is not like you say. Real friends don't care if you are ugly or not. If you have met only some fake friends that's a completely different thing.

this. all day. real friends are there for you no matter what you look like

[ImCoolBeans]

all my problems can be attributed to my appearance. every time I am mistreated it's just a reminder that if my midface was more developed, my chin a little wider, my brow a little lower, my cheekbones a little higher, that I wouldn't be treated the same. there's a saying that goes "if you meet one jerk a day that's bad luck, if you meet ten a day then you are the jerk". they should change it to either you are the jerk or just inferior. I will just accept my role in life, and live stoically until I die

If that's how you want to live your life then I guess we can't stop you, but if you really listen to what your saying, it's pretty outlandish. I don't think I've ever looked at anyone as critically as you look at yourself. Most of the time we end up being our own toughest critic, but you're taking it the extra mile. You're hurting yourself and your confidence even more by saying all of these things about yourself, and are further affirming this thought process for yourself.

[Freckles]

It sounds like your ancsestors may have came from a different place than your friends and so you look "different" than them. Different doesn't mean ugly. The question I have is what kind of a person are you? Do you treat people respectfully? It may be something in your charactar that make people shy away.

[Syzygy]

That's bullshit. Real friendship is not like you say. Real friends don't care if you are ugly or not. If you have met only some fake friends that's a completely different thing.

wow look it's an attractive girl telling me that my problems as an unattractive guy don't exist. you are a billionaire telling the homeless that the economy is doing great and money is easy to come by. :lol:

remember that others supposed superiority is subconscious and can alter their actions and opinions even if they are trying to be as good or nice of a person they can. unattractive people are not seen as equal, even if you try and tell yourself you are equal, your subconscious will make you judge them harsher for their mistakes, look down on them, never see them as better than you in anything, and more.


If that's how you want to live your life then I guess we can't stop you, but if you really listen to what your saying, it's pretty outlandish. I don't think I've ever looked at anyone as critically as you look at yourself. Most of the time we end up being our own toughest critic, but you're taking it the extra mile. You're hurting yourself and your confidence even more by saying all of these things about yourself, and are further affirming this thought process for yourself.

i'm sorry i was kind of depressed when I wrote that, I will try and improve my looks from hideous to below average so people will at least treat me normally. I am going to try working out (steroids if I don't see good results after a year) many plastic surgeries, tanning (and melanotan), veneers, fasting until i am 10% body fat, wearing shoe insoles to add an inch to my height (the magic 6'). these are the only things that I think will help me confidence, not "being myself" or whatever some users have said. you maybe have not critically analyzed someone like i do myself, but you shouldn't have to for other people, your brain is programmed to recognize attractiveness within seconds subconsciously.

[ptz7649]

i don't thinks so because then, it would be very hard for any friendships to exist.
In most/all friendships, one friend will be more attractive than the other, therefore, if your theory is correct, all friendships would be unbalanced.

There are other things that people might think make them superior to their friends such as wealth, intelligence, popularity and confidence!

[ClaraWho]

SIf that's how you want to live your life then I guess we can't stop you, but if you really listen to what your saying, it's pretty outlandish. I don't think I've ever looked at anyone as critically as you look at yourself. Most of the time we end up being our own toughest critic, but you're taking it the extra mile. You're hurting yourself and your confidence even more by saying all of these things about yourself, and are further affirming this thought process for yourself.

all my problems can be attributed to my appearance. every time I am mistreated it's just a reminder that if my midface was more developed, my chin a little wider, my brow a little lower, my cheekbones a little higher, that I wouldn't be treated the same. there's a saying that goes "if you meet one jerk a day that's bad luck, if you meet ten a day then you are the jerk". they should change it to either you are the jerk or just inferior. I will just accept my role in life, and live stoically until I die

You have created a delusional, paranoid schema in your mind and built in counter arguments to every attempt to refute your claim.

Nobody here can possibly change your mind, which makes me question why you even posted in the first place?

If by disagreeing with you, we are subconsciously liars beyond our control, then;
A) You don't respect our opinions and are insulting us all
B) Your argument is endlessly self-fulfilling and you will forever be miserable.

Attractiveness is only physical initially, and certain forms of attractive characteristics aren't intrinsic. Once you get past initial attraction, by actually talking normally to another human being, that is no longer relevant IF THEY LIKE YOUR PERSONALITY.

Unfortunately your attitude on here, depressed as you may be, is hostile and unappealing. You've insulted everyone who has tried to help you, telling them you know how they really think deep down. You don't. You aren't psychic. You can't read what is going on in someone else's mind, and you have created your own bitter narrative to fill in that unknown.

Stop worrying about your bone structure, skin colour, eye colour or what others think of it. And start worrying about how YOU come accross as a person.

~ Clara

[THJKIGB]

Those so called friends that only look at you by your appearance are a waste of your time anyway. There are people who do not do this and could careless what there friends look like. You will find those true friends as they are the ones that will have your back no matter what others are saying about you. Teens can be nasty towards each other and I know this first hand because when I was 14 I picked on these 2 girls a lot because they were really not developed at all and had bad acne. I certainly am not proud of that now and I wish I could change how I treated them. Because of that I try to be nice to anyone no matter what they look like.

[Syzygy]

S

You have created a delusional, paranoid schema in your mind and built in counter arguments to every attempt to refute your claim.

Nobody here can possibly change your mind, which makes me question why you even posted in the first place?

If by disagreeing with you, we are subconsciously liars beyond our control, then;
A) You don't respect our opinions and are insulting us all
B) Your argument is endlessly self-fulfilling and you will forever be miserable.

Attractiveness is only physical initially, and certain forms of attractive characteristics aren't intrinsic. Once you get past initial attraction, by actually talking normally to another human being, that is no longer relevant IF THEY LIKE YOUR PERSONALITY.

Unfortunately your attitude on here, depressed as you may be, is hostile and unappealing. You've insulted everyone who has tried to help you, telling them you know how they really think deep down. You don't. You aren't psychic. You can't read what is going on in someone else's mind, and you have created your own bitter narrative to fill in that unknown.

Stop worrying about your bone structure, skin colour, eye colour or what others think of it. And start worrying about how YOU come accross as a person.

~ Clara

yeah you're right :)
i was wrong to misattribute qualities i've seen in all the people i've interacted with to strangers i've never met. this is after all a site free of judgement?

[everlong]

I'd have to disagree. Looks seem to be a big deal in relationships, but I don't think friendships seem to care about that trait. I know my friends and I don't care.

[ObliviousCat]

One of my best friends was considered "ugly" by, quite literally, the entire school. Did I let that stand in the way of our friendship? Absolutely not in any way. I, as well as a lot of other people, do not care of their friend's outer appearance. If you genuinely value someone's friendship and the time you spend with them you will not feel superior to any of your friends, whether or not they're less or more attractive than you. In a group of true friends, everyone treats and sees one another as equals.

[wolf g]

i will tell you something there are some people want to be your friends because they see that you have someting but they don't
so when the others see that they are with you they thing that they are like you good and special
me i have the same setuation brlieve me

[Kirina]

Once you get past initial attraction, by actually talking normally to another human being, that is no longer relevant IF THEY LIKE YOUR PERSONALITY.

Anyone will almost always rather approach a more attractive person or if he approaches them they prefer it if they were approached by someone more attractive. First impression matter and first impression will always be based on looks. Anyone being friends with a less attractive person just happened to draw the short straw and their personality is just a consolation prize. They would be more pleased if they got a friend that was more attractive. When someone knows they are good looking, they WILL feel superior to those that are ugly. This is how humans work, the fact that you believe you don't think of them as less is just the illusion we call "kindness".

Syzygy You are right, looks matter a lot. But you should know this, very few are "naturally attractive". Those that wants acceptance in this world, they work hard to improve themselves. If you want to be accepted, be "superior" and have true friends, you better work damn hard for it as well!

Life is harsh, deal with it.

[Gwen]

If you truly think that you are being as shallow as the people who only makes friends based on their looks. Congrats on being self-loathing and making a thread with no intention to listen to anyone regardless of how helpful their information is, double points for sarcastic responses also; very mature. Attractive people make plenty of acquaintances but with a terrible attitude they won't have many real friends who would stick up for them when they are in trouble. Being ugly means less people who approach you but the people who do are probably a lot more nice than someone who only wants friendship cause of your hot jawline. Everyone gets bullied over something, even if you do look good people will always find something to hate about you.

[phuckphace]

it's even more impossible to have real friends if your attitude is such that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'd hang out with a dysmorphic person who wants a friend, but I wouldn't hang out with a dysmorphic person who never wants to hang out because he's dysmorphic

[AmandaFr]

Oh, why do you think so?
your friends should not care how you look!!! really...

[ClaraWho]

If you truly think that you are being as shallow as the people who only makes friends based on their looks. Congrats on being self-loathing and making a thread with no intention to listen to anyone regardless of how helpful their information is, double points for sarcastic responses also; very mature. Attractive people make plenty of acquaintances but with a terrible attitude they won't have many real friends who would stick up for them when they are in trouble. Being ugly means less people who approach you but the people who do are probably a lot more nice than someone who only wants friendship cause of your hot jawline. Everyone gets bullied over something, even if you do look good people will always find something to hate about you.

Anyone will almost always rather approach a more attractive person or if he approaches them they prefer it if they were approached by someone more attractive. First impression matter and first impression will always be based on looks. Anyone being friends with a less attractive person just happened to draw the short straw and their personality is just a consolation prize. They would be more pleased if they got a friend that was more attractive. When someone knows they are good looking, they WILL feel superior to those that are ugly. This is how humans work, the fact that you believe you don't think of them as less is just the illusion we call "kindness".

Syzygy You are right, looks matter a lot. But you should know this, very few are "naturally attractive". Those that wants acceptance in this world, they work hard to improve themselves. If you want to be accepted, be "superior" and have true friends, you better work damn hard for it as well!

Life is harsh, deal with it.

There's unattractive on the outside, but true ugliness is internal, it is who you actually are. And no amount of plastic surgery can change that. They are the one's without friends.

~ Clara

[thegreatgatz]

To be comfortable amongst others, you must be comfortable amongst your own feelings.

[Syzygy]

it's even more impossible to have real friends if your attitude is such that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'd hang out with a dysmorphic person who wants a friend, but I wouldn't hang out with a dysmorphic person who never wants to hang out because he's dysmorphic

There's unattractive on the outside, but true ugliness is internal, it is who you actually are. And no amount of plastic surgery can change that. They are the one's without friends.

~ Clara

It's true, I am a horrible person and I will not lie and say I have a good personality or whatever. Attractive people usually have nice personalities as well, they have nothing to be upset about and no reason to not like people. Unattractive people are bitter and spiteful due to a constant stream of negative reinforcement and mistreatment (as opposed to the validation of their more hormonally-balanced peers). I think there is somewhat of a positive correlation between appearance and personality. Outliers would become more prevalent near the top of course.

[Pat the Bunny]

It's true, I am a horrible person and I will not lie and say I have a good personality or whatever.

Well your depressed attitude isn't helping. Aside from the insulting of unattractive people by implying they'll never have real friends, plus the insulting of practically everyone by saying everyone has a superiority complex, you're just turning your situation into a general truth.

Just because you've possibly maybe probably not had trouble getting friends because of your appearance doesn't mean that nobody is able to befriend someone of lower attractiveness.

Do you really think the real reason of your unability to make friends it your looks? Or is it something else. No matter how easy it is to say "I don't have friends because I'm ugly", doesn't make it true. You said you are a horrible person, but why do you think you are a horrible person? Why do you think people wouldn't like you? Only if you know that, and try to change it will you make real friends. But hey, if you want to waste tens of thousands of dollars on fake tan and plastic surgery to fix a non-existent problem, you go for it. Your choice

[bleh.]

I'm actually kinda going through the same thing. It stinks but I think sometimes it's because they're insecure but when they find someone they think they rule over they take their insecurities and your insecurities and shove them all on you.

[AutumnWinds]

all my problems can be attributed to my appearance. every time I am mistreated it's just a reminder that if my midface was more developed, my chin a little wider, my brow a little lower, my cheekbones a little higher, that I wouldn't be treated the same. there's a saying that goes "if you meet one jerk a day that's bad luck, if you meet ten a day then you are the jerk". they should change it to either you are the jerk or just inferior. I will just accept my role in life, and live stoically until I die

i think you're just sensitive about your appearance and are blaming it for the people who mistreat you instead of those people themselves.

i don't mean this as an insult, but have you considered talking to a professional? you deserve to be treated well regardless of whether you look good or not and it makes me sad that you don't see that. i hope you'll come to realize that fact soon.

[PaleBoy]

It's true, I am a horrible person and I will not lie and say I have a good personality or whatever. Attractive people usually have nice personalities as well, they have nothing to be upset about and no reason to not like people. Unattractive people are bitter and spiteful due to a constant stream of negative reinforcement and mistreatment (as opposed to the validation of their more hormonally-balanced peers). I think there is somewhat of a positive correlation between appearance and personality. Outliers would become more prevalent near the top of course.

I think you might be onto something, i agree.