Coming out

[fandom_king]

Okay, so I am biologically male (born with a penis, XY chromosome, etc.) but online, I identify as agender. I haven't cone out to my family or my friends, but a few of my friends follow my tumblr, so I think they know. Also, I'm not entirely sure whether or not I'm actually agender. Should I wait until I'm more sure or should I just tell them that I am currently agender, but not entirely sure?

[NZPerson]

When did you decide? I would add a year to that to just think it over. Thats what i. Did with me because i was between straight/bi/gay. Worked out well.

[Abhorrence]

I think you should definitely try to come to terms with everything by yourself before involving anybody else. Having other people's opinions could unintentionally sway your mind in a different direction. If you continue to think about it by yourself for a while you can come to the conclusion by yourself of what you truly are.

[Elysium]

Puberty for All :arrow: Teen Sexuality & Gender

[Desuetude]

There are a couple things to ask yourself before deciding. The most important being, is it safe to come out? Is there a possibility that you may be harmed or kicked out of your house if you do? If the people you are considering telling people who are extremely transphobic and closed minded then maybe it might be best to wait or slowly drop hints/open their eyes to the idea of transgender people and what that means.

The next is, are you comfortable with yourself? If you're not completely sure as to what you identify as then I suggest doing some research and waiting it out until you're certain because coming out as one thing and that being it is easier and less stressful than coming out and then changing your mind etc. Personally, I've decided that because I'm not completely certain of my identity I'm going to wait until uni where I can comfortably use different pronouns and a different name, so that I can get a better feel for what I prefer/who I am. You might want to consider something like that, although I don't know how old you are.

If you do decide to come out then remember that agender is a pretty difficult gender identity for some people to grasp. The idea of 'girl' and 'boy' has been ingrained into society for so long that anything outside of the binary is considered impossible to a lot of people. You may need to print out some factual information, especially for your parents/guardians, and explain what you want from them and how they can support you. Be patient if it takes a while to sink in and I just hope they're supportive or at the least, willing to understand you.

[Cloud_Strife]

Okay, so I am biologically male (born with a penis, XY chromosome, etc.) but online, I identify as agender. I haven't cone out to my family or my friends, but a few of my friends follow my tumblr, so I think they know. Also, I'm not entirely sure whether or not I'm actually agender. Should I wait until I'm more sure or should I just tell them that I am currently agender, but not entirely sure?

Hi Cody,

Thanks for sharing. If you're unsure, I'd say there is still time to wait until things become more clear; before sharing it with your close ones. How one perceives themselves changes with time, this is especially so in our teenage years. I'd say there's no need to rush and to allow yourself some time, to be comfortable and sure; before sharing what is an uncertainty. I personally don't like making statements I am unsure of, so that would be my preference. If you do need to discuss with someone though, I don't think it would be a bad idea for you to do so - as long as it is someone you trust.

Hope that helps!

[DoodleSnap]

Abhorrence makes a very good point. I would let time and experience mature and hone your views more, before speaking to your family about it.
It is difficult for people less aware of gender issues to understand all the terminology and potential for change, so I would suggest working out what it is that you want. SameOldWar covers most of this.
Just don't feel pressured to come out, and do whatever makes you safe and comfortable.

Good luck.