The Best Advice To Get a gf/bf

[Syzygy]

be good looking because that's the only thing that matters.

[simplired]

If that's the only thing that matters, what's gonna happen when you both get old and aren't good looking anymore? Looking good is a factor in a relationship, but not being a total jerk is worth more, in my opinion.

[Syzygy]

If that's the only thing that matters, what's gonna happen when you both get old and aren't good looking anymore? Looking good is a factor in a relationship, but not being a total jerk is worth more, in my opinion.

people with good genes age well. george clooney is still considered attractive by many people and he is objectively old. it doesn't matter if you're good looking and act like a jerk because you'll always have tons of options available if something goes wrong.

[simplired]

George Clooney is one person, and not everyone thinks he's attractive. Relationships should be based on more than looks. And people who have relationships based on just looks don't have a good relationship.

[Waleedbt]

Good looks have a small factor.
i personally say confidence is huge!


*btw love the sig on top^*

[Abhorrence]

Well, OP, this is entirely untrue. Of course your general attractiveness plays a role in whether people will be attracted enough to you to date you but overall looks aren't everything, this is said by numerous people. Obviously, the first thing that draws one to another is their looks but saying bad looks does not draw others is not a correct statement, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person may be the cutest Goddamn thing ever to walk the earth to one person and then a troll-looking thing to another. The best advice to get a partner is to be yourself, be charming, be funny and charismatic. If you are constantly dwelling on the fact that you think you are unattractive then you are missing out on your chance to smile, everyone looks better when they're smiling. :)

[Syzygy]

Well, OP, this is entirely untrue. Of course your general attractiveness plays a role in whether people will be attracted enough to you to date you but overall looks aren't everything, this is said by numerous people. Obviously, the first thing that draws one to another is their looks but saying bad looks does not draw others is not a correct statement, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person may be the cutest Goddamn thing ever to walk the earth to one person and then a troll-looking thing to another. The best advice to get a partner is to be yourself, be charming, be funny and charismatic. If you are constantly dwelling on the fact that you think you are unattractive then you are missing out on your chance to smile, everyone looks better when they're smiling. :)

I don't smile, my palate is not wide enough to have a good smile, i try and avoid pictures or look in the distance like i dont notice, then just ask people to crop me out after.

I disagree beauty is in the eye of the beholder, almost everyone only wants generic good looking + signs of health. is there anyone that doesn't find the blonde supermodel with perfect skin unattractive? or the athletic strong-jawed jock on a college d1 football team? these people will always have an advantage over me, there is no point to even try. Why would I pursue a relationship when every girl has a million options better than me?

my only chance at living is getting cosmetic surgery to become a generic good-looking person and hoping i don't die alone. it's either that or just force myself to become asexual somehow but then ill still be disrespected by everyone and miserable.

[Abhorrence]

I don't smile, my palate is not wide enough to have a good smile, i try and avoid pictures or look in the distance like i dont notice, then just ask people to crop me out after.

I disagree beauty is in the eye of the beholder, almost everyone only wants generic good looking + signs of health. is there anyone that doesn't find the blonde supermodel with perfect skin unattractive? or the athletic strong-jawed jock on a college d1 football team? these people will always have an advantage over me, there is no point to even try. Why would I pursue a relationship when every girl has a million options better than me?

my only chance at living is getting cosmetic surgery to become a generic good-looking person and hoping i don't die alone. it's either that or just force myself to become asexual somehow but then ill still be disrespected by everyone and miserable.
I don't know where you're from but if you look at the UK version of Jeremy Kyle you will see that these people are able to find love and are even able to go sleeping around and they're definitely not want the general populace considers attractive. So, ya know, definitely not out of options.

[Tesserax]

I don't smile, my palate is not wide enough to have a good smile, i try and avoid pictures or look in the distance like i dont notice, then just ask people to crop me out after.

I disagree beauty is in the eye of the beholder, almost everyone only wants generic good looking + signs of health. is there anyone that doesn't find the blonde supermodel with perfect skin unattractive? or the athletic strong-jawed jock on a college d1 football team? these people will always have an advantage over me, there is no point to even try. Why would I pursue a relationship when every girl has a million options better than me?

my only chance at living is getting cosmetic surgery to become a generic good-looking person and hoping i don't die alone. it's either that or just force myself to become asexual somehow but then ill still be disrespected by everyone and miserable.

Those models to me look fuckable and nothing but. That's not relationship material, that's sexual objectivity. It's a case of "I'd fuck these people because they're hot", but I'd never get into a relationship with them because honestly, they're nothing but provocative, and in fact in some cases their boniness and lack of human shape/look is honestly a real put-off.

Options? Pfft. People only look for options if they want to fuck, not if they want a real relationship on the emotional level. What you're talking about is more like friends with benefits. A true relationship isn't based around sex, it has very little to do with appearance or sexual needs, but rather around a deeper, more meaningful connection on an emotional level

[Eperty123]

Even if looks matter the personality will be the thing in the end. :)

Those models to me look fuckable and nothing but. That's not relationship material, that's sexual objectivity. It's a case of "I'd fuck these people because they're hot", but I'd never get into a relationship with them because honestly, they're nothing but provocative, and in fact in some cases their boniness and lack of human shape/look is honestly a real put-off.

Options? Pfft. People only look for options if they want to fuck, not if they want a real relationship on the emotional level. What you're talking about is more like friends with benefits. A true relationship isn't based around sex, it has very little to do with appearance or sexual needs, but rather around a deeper, more meaningful connection on an emotional level
I totally agree with you.

[Syzygy]

Those models to me look fuckable and nothing but. That's not relationship material, that's sexual objectivity. It's a case of "I'd fuck these people because they're hot", but I'd never get into a relationship with them because honestly, they're nothing but provocative, and in fact in some cases their boniness and lack of human shape/look is honestly a real put-off.

Options? Pfft. People only look for options if they want to fuck, not if they want a real relationship on the emotional level. What you're talking about is more like friends with benefits. A true relationship isn't based around sex, it has very little to do with appearance or sexual needs, but rather around a deeper, more meaningful connection on an emotional level

but relationships do have a sexual part - it's not just a really close friendship. people have sexual needs, I can not satisfy the sexual needs of the opposite sex therefore i have failed being human at the most basic level which is being able to pass on my genes. not really sure if there's anything left for me in this life when i don't even feel like a part of the same species. plastic surgery = my only hope to be normal

[lyhom]

idk I'd consider stuff like personality and confidence much more important to a relationship than looks, so to put it bluntly, moping around about how "unattractive" you are is going to do more harm than just simply being "unattractive"

(also it should be kept in mind that looks are extremely subjective and that what one person finds pretty another might find okay or even ugly, so don't worry)

[Body odah Man]

@ Syzygy:
You are puhretty shallow bro.

What I think is most important is: be nice and be yourself. For a relationship 2 be successful and make one happy, it is required to have a girl you can relate to and for the girl to respect and like you. If she cannot, all the sexiness in the world can't prevent it from going terribly wrong after a few years.

[Syzygy]

idk I'd consider stuff like personality and confidence much more important to a relationship than looks, so to put it bluntly, moping around about how "unattractive" you are is going to do more harm than just simply being "unattractive"

(also it should be kept in mind that looks are extremely subjective and that what one person finds pretty another might find okay or even ugly, so don't worry)

confidence on someone like me is unattractive. I'm not going to fake it either, it requires effort for no real results and it's easy to spot bravado. I'll just look like a compensating try hard. like I worked out to get a better body, now everyone just looks down upon that like im trying to cheat nature and cover up my bones

@ Syzygy:
You are puhretty shallow bro.

What I think is most important is: be nice and be yourself. For a relationship 2 be successful and make one happy, it is required to have a girl you can relate to and for the girl to respect and like you. If she cannot, all the sexiness in the world can't prevent it from going terribly wrong after a few years.

i am not shallow, the world is shallow and i just see it how it is and decide to not play anymore

[Waleedbt]

At this point OP you are just being depressed about needing something.
Okay, it seems you are just saying how 'unattractive' you are, if you dont like yourself how do you suppose others will?
If you really think you need a plastic surgey done then thats just sad and i feel bad for you to even think about it!
Honeslty, i was in your same situation not so long ago, but do you know what i did? I started to hit the gym. I started feeling good about myself, my confidence and never started caring for what others think, and do you know what happened ? Girls started to talk to me, or showed interest, lots i kid you not. But on the relationship sector for me.. I have yet to lose my virginity. I respect others too much than to jump into bed , heck even dating someone just for that sole reason. In the time being i have started to talk to someone i really enjoy talking to, she likes to do the same things as me, do you know how we clicked? Cause we are both healthy, ppl who care about our bodies and enjoy doing so.
Now i just gained a beautiful gym partner just because i started changing myself.

Plus, i have only kissed someone once if that helps you to be inspired.

All im saying, life doesnt stop for anyone! You shouldnt make such small things stop you from enjoying life! Do the things that you like! Meet up with friends, and if you like change your body image, hit the gym, care for yourself, you will look different and feel different.

[Syzygy]

At this point OP you are just being depressed about needing something.
Okay, it seems you are just saying how 'unattractive' you are, if you dont like yourself how do you suppose others will?
If you really think you need a plastic surgey done then thats just sad and i feel bad for you to even think about it!
Honeslty, i was in your same situation not so long ago, but do you know what i did? I started to hit the gym. I started feeling good about myself, my confidence and never started caring for what others think, and do you know what happened ? Girls started to talk to me, or showed interest, lots i kid you not. But on the relationship sector for me.. I have yet to lose my virginity. I respect others too much than to jump into bed , heck even dating someone just for that sole reason. In the time being i have started to talk to someone i really enjoy talking to, she likes to do the same things as me, do you know how we clicked? Cause we are both healthy, ppl who care about our bodies and enjoy doing so.
Now i just gained a beautiful gym partner just because i started changing myself.

Plus, i have only kissed someone once if that helps you to be inspired.

All im saying, life doesnt stop for anyone! You shouldnt make such small things stop you from enjoying life! Do the things that you like! Meet up with friends, and if you like change your body image, hit the gym, care for yourself, you will look different and feel different.

my interior only matches my exterior. hitting the gym is useless for me, i tried that for the past 3 weeks and it's a useless change. no amount of muscle will make up for how bad my small wrists and frame look. i will put pictures on my profile if my words don't make you understand. i just want to stop caring for myself but i know that if i do then i will no longer even resemble a human. you get good results from the gym but you most likely have bigger bones and better genes than me, the muscle compliments you. going to the gym just makes me more depressed. the only exercise that puts my mind at ease is swimming.

also i have friction burns from falling on pavement that make my body hideous no matter what i do. girls will not show interest in me no matter if i hit the gym because bones are what fuels attraction and my bones are bad.

[Waleedbt]

my interior only matches my exterior. hitting the gym is useless for me, i tried that for the past 3 weeks and it's a useless change. no amount of muscle will make up for how bad my small wrists and frame look. i will put pictures on my profile if my words don't make you understand. i just want to stop caring for myself but i know that if i do then i will no longer even resemble a human. you get good results from the gym but you most likely have bigger bones and better genes than me, the muscle compliments you. going to the gym just makes me more depressed. the only exercise that puts my mind at ease is swimming.

also i have friction burns from falling on pavement that make my body hideous no matter what i do. girls will not show interest in me no matter if i hit the gym because bones are what fuels attraction and my bones are bad.



Dude i had the worst body ever, i was a super skinny guy, i became fat and realised something was wrong. No one starts as huge, trust me.
3 weeks is nothing! Work out the right way, see what you are eating, then you will end up looking as healthy as the people you find attractive.
I personally have not had soda for the past year and a half. Stopped fast food for maybe once everyone month or 2 if i really need it.
Trust me it not hard to be healthy, work on yourself and change.
Plus! If you like swimming, then join a club, do it more often, i like swimming too myself, but i only do it at home as my gym doesnt have a pool appearantly , so i dont meet anyone through the sport. You will most likey have much better luck!


I just think you are making excuses and this will probably be my last post here as you refuse to take in anything unfortunatly.

[ptz7649]

you know that this isn't true.
You just wanted to see everyone's reaction

[Syzygy]

Dude i had the worst body ever, i was a super skinny guy, i became fat and realised something was wrong. No one starts as huge, trust me.
3 weeks is nothing! Work out the right way, see what you are eating, then you will end up looking as healthy as the people you find attractive.
I personally have not had soda for the past year and a half. Stopped fast food for maybe once everyone month or 2 if i really need it.
Trust me it not hard to be healthy, work on yourself and change.
Plus! If you like swimming, then join a club, do it more often, i like swimming too myself, but i only do it at home as my gym doesnt have a pool appearantly , so i dont meet anyone through the sport. You will most likey have much better luck!


I just think you are making excuses and this will probably be my last post here as you refuse to take in anything unfortunatly.

you keep missing my point. it doesn't matter if i gain a lot of muscle, my BONES are the problem, and they are unchangeable. my clavicles are too narrow. this makes my body unattractive and getting bigger muscles won't change it. my wrists are too small, unattractive and I can't change it. no amount of working out will give me a good body. you think Im making excuses but again, you most likely are free of the problems I have.

you know that this isn't true.
You just wanted to see everyone's reaction

I think because you're 13 you haven't fully developed the cognitive ability to see clearly from another's point of view and that's why you made this post

[Waleedbt]

you keep missing my point. it doesn't matter if i gain a lot of muscle, my BONES are the problem, and they are unchangeable. my clavicles are too narrow. this makes my body unattractive and getting bigger muscles won't change it. my wrists are too small, unattractive and I can't change it. no amount of working out will give me a good body. you think Im making excuses but again, you most likely are free of the problems I have.





Alright bro, but like i said, if you don't want to put an effort in anything or even start liking yourself first , then no one will see that person.

Trust me, im not free of problems, we all have flaws, my flaw was that i dealt with bad acne for 4-5 years, it was a nightmare for me.

[Tesserax]

but relationships do have a sexual part - it's not just a really close friendship. people have sexual needs, I can not satisfy the sexual needs of the opposite sex therefore i have failed being human at the most basic level which is being able to pass on my genes. not really sure if there's anything left for me in this life when i don't even feel like a part of the same species. plastic surgery = my only hope to be normal

I never said it wasn't, and if I did I didn't mean it. The key to a healthy relationship, a lasting one that is going to be good for both of you is the emotional connection. The sexual nature of relationships maybe makes up 20% at most of it, unless it is purely for sexual purposes. If you have a good emotional connection, your partner should not have any problems with the way you look. I actually had a crush on one of my girl friends once, and to be honest she's not the most attractive, but I was still attracted to her because she is one of my closest friends. You have hope, you need only wait. Patience is key for you, not plastic surgery

[ptz7649]

you keep missing my point. it doesn't matter if i gain a lot of muscle, my BONES are the problem, and they are unchangeable. my clavicles are too narrow. this makes my body unattractive and getting bigger muscles won't change it. my wrists are too small, unattractive and I can't change it. no amount of working out will give me a good body. you think Im making excuses but again, you most likely are free of the problems I have.



I think because you're 13 you haven't fully developed the cognitive ability to see clearly from another's point of view and that's why you made this post

ok, I'm sorry. I get it. I'm only 13. I don't understand it. Clearly. I apologise for writing that comment.

But everyone else on here has written (confirmed) that your body isn't the only thing that will sustain a relationship. I didn't realise that you really meant that because I didn't think that you actually believed what you wrote. I wasn't criticising you at all and I didn't mean any offence. it's the truth ...What everyone says. it may be the main source of initial attraction, but You can't love someone because they have a good body alone.

What I'm really trying to say is that the right people will love you for who you are on the inside because you are BORN with your body, but you CHOOSE your personality. I don't have to be a few years older to know that.

Even though I am only 13, I know that nobody loves just because someone is good looking and, I don't/won't love any guy because of their shape either.
I'm really sorry if that last post was mean and I wish you the best

[Fehu]

If that's the only thing that matters, what's gonna happen when you both get old and aren't good looking anymore? Looking good is a factor in a relationship, but not being a total jerk is worth more, in my opinion.

God bless them but you just described my grandparents relationship

[AmandaFr]

be good looking and keep your riddle)))

[Nav-Man]

Look.
If you're young like 11-14 forget about it.
Don't waste your time getting a relationship and following what your friends do, Don't get so caught up in "I want to experience teen love"

Dont, It's the worst Idea ever. Wait till you're 16+
It's just this whole thing I was focused in as a kid.
I tried to get a "Grillfriend" when I was 12-14
No avail.
Then Two years ago, I met this girl.
We're still dating. Still in love. Still being goofy old me.
What I'm just trying to say is; Play the long game. Hit end game. Don't start till you're at your peak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EDIT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Looks fade. Hunger doesn't. If she/he can cook you the best food like better than your grandparents. You better act quick.
I dont care if it's Mac N' Cheese. Pizza. Steak. If she cooks for you That's a sign.

[Hannah98]

Being good-looking IS NOT the only thing that matters. I have met some guys who had the body and looks of Adonis that I wouldn't waste my time on because of their rudeness and vanity. I know looks do come into play, but they are not all that matters.

[jssixna]

That is an unfair statement, OP. My definition of attraction is hell of a lot different than yours.

[wolf g]

are you sur Syzygy

[luq_]

I haven't read every reply in the topic, I've only skimmed through, but I do agree with the OP. Good looks are the best (and easiest) way to get a bf/gf.
There are a few caveats, though. First, it's subjective. Okay, there are some traits which are generally accepted. So, it doesn't work always, but most of the time. Fair enough?

Let's imagine you're the hottest guy over there.
Hooray, you got a boyfriend/girlfriend in no time, have a medal. No, seriously, take it, you and your good looks deserved it.
http://www.paper.co.uk/PremierPaper/media/productlogos/GoldMedal.jpg

Now what? Hm, okay, you can kiss and exchange litres and litres of saliva. Happy? Of course you are, who doesn't like that?
When you are done, you could, um... I know, hold hands and show everyone how happy you are. That will last for, I don't know, couple of days, maybe a week if you are really determined. Then you could talk. That's what happy couples do, they talk and laugh and have a great time. Let's see, the list of topics:

Her day - who the fuck cares about her day?
Your day - who the fuck cares about your day?
Romantic stuff - you aren't here for romance, you're hardcore, look at that body, dayum
History - she doesn't care about the glorious battles which determined the appearance of the world as it is today. How can you not find that interesting? "That was, like, ages ago.", so what?
Physics - throw a ball and call it a science? Boooring.
Sky - really, sky? What is there to say about sky?
That trash can over there - now you're just messing with me. Interesting shape? Oh come on.
Politics - you'd start fighting before you know it
Apollo landing - it never happened. It did. No it didn't, it's fake. How can that be fake, why? Marketing. No, it happened, how can you be so ignorant? Fuck you.

You aren't really meant for each other, so the only right thing to do would to thank each other for the saliva and say goodbye. However, you most probably won't, and you'll fight, break up, hate each other for the next few months and then get back together. Or not, and you'll find another being to... you know, that, and forget her.

Actually, that's based on true stories of people whose relationships last 3-5 days on average. I haven't noticed they are extremely happy about that. It doesn't always happen, maybe, just maybe, and that's ~1% of cases, you fall in love with that person you hooked up with. It takes time, but if that relationship lasts more than a couple of months, you have solid chances to be happy. That's what it is - a shot in the dark. You may find happiness, but also depression, abuse, loads of judgemental people, and so on.

If not by good looks, how do you 'get a gf/bf' then? Personality, inside beauty and that cheesy stuff? In a way. Don't fool yourself though, if she thinks you look like a chupacabra, she won't bother talking with you, so your personality won't get a chance to shine. Remember the beginning, it's subjective. Also, it isn't so hard to change. Be nice, find friends, have your friends talk good stuff about you. Don't force it, let it be natural. Word of mouth is powerful. Do things that will get you noticed, and by that I don't mean jerk off in public, but nice, good things, helping people. You could also try sports, if that's your thing.
You will get your chance, eventually. Use it wisely. Be kind, be nice, be fun. Be someone people would like to spend time with. Don't go too far, and appear, uhm, what they like to label 'gay', but act normally. Also don't objectify things and sound like 'bf/gf' is the most important thing there is. If she doesn't like your normal, then if by any miracle you got together, it'd end up being another 3-5 days relationship, a.k.a not worth it.

I have missed one more thing: what if exchanging bodily fluids is indeed your goal and 3-5 days relationship is perfect means for that, but you can't achieve it because you're ugly? Then I'm glad you're ugly and may you never get pretty.


---
I apologize for any possible spelling mistakes, wrong prepositions, mixed up adjectives and adverbs, dull sentences, made-up words and British spelling. No, wait, I'm not sorry for British spelling. Ha! I also apologize if I have offended anyone, it wasn't my intention. I'm sorry if reading this huge wall of text bored you to death, but I had fun writing.

[AutumnWinds]

i think the biggest thing you have working against you is your negativity.

that's not a jab at you. i don't mean it offensively. i just think that you're really hurting yourself and your chances by being so down on your appearance and convincing yourself it's going to keep you from ever forming meaningful friendships or relationships.

I don't smile, my palate is not wide enough to have a good smile, i try and avoid pictures or look in the distance like i dont notice, then just ask people to crop me out after.

I disagree beauty is in the eye of the beholder, almost everyone only wants generic good looking + signs of health. is there anyone that doesn't find the blonde supermodel with perfect skin unattractive? or the athletic strong-jawed jock on a college d1 football team? these people will always have an advantage over me, there is no point to even try. Why would I pursue a relationship when every girl has a million options better than me?

my only chance at living is getting cosmetic surgery to become a generic good-looking person and hoping i don't die alone. it's either that or just force myself to become asexual somehow but then ill still be disrespected by everyone and miserable.